Starting daycare abroad can feel overwhelming — especially when you’re navigating a new system, a new language, and a new culture at the same time. In this episode of Expecting Expats, Amanda and CJ talk about one of the biggest milestones in expat family life: starting Kita (daycare) in Germany.

From confusing application portals to the emotional rollercoaster of the settling-in period, this conversation covers the practical realities and the emotional side of expat parenting when your child enters childcare in a new country.

Whether you’re pregnant, waiting for a daycare spot, or already in the middle of the process, this episode is packed with honest stories, helpful insights, and real-life expat parenting tips.

🇩🇪 What we talk about in this episode

* How the German Kita system works

* Why you may need to apply for daycare while still pregnant

* Different childcare options (Kita, Tagesmutter, kindergarten)

* What the Eingewöhnung settling-in period is really like

* How long the adjustment phase can take (and why it’s hard to plan around)

* The emotional side of daycare for parents — guilt, relief, and everything in between

* Why childcare is especially important for expat family support

* How sibling spots and networking sometimes help you get a place

* What to look for when choosing a Kita

* How daycare culture in Germany differs from other countries

🌍 Expat parenting reality: Doing it without family nearby

For many families abroad, daycare isn’t just helpful — it’s essential.
Without grandparents or relatives nearby, childcare providers often become a key part of your expat motherhood and expat parenting journey.

Amanda and CJ share their own experiences raising kids in Germany, including:

* Finding childcare without local family support

* Balancing work, identity, and motherhood abroad

* Feeling guilty even when daycare is the right choice

* Why high-quality childcare matters so much for expat families

❤️ The emotional side of starting daycare

Starting Kita isn’t just a logistical step — it’s a huge emotional transition.

In this episode we talk about:

* The first time leaving your baby with someone else

* Feeling ready to work again but also sad

* How the slow German settling-in process can help both parents and kids

* Why the transition can be harder for expats

If you’re in the middle of this stage, you’re not alone — and this episode is here to give you reassurance, perspective, and practical expat parenting tips.

📚 Recommendations from this episode

* Book: Your Competent Child by Jesper Juul

* Podcast: The Worldschooling Podcast

🎧 About Expecting Expats

Expecting Expats is a podcast about expat motherhood, expat parenting, and expat family life — the real, honest, sometimes messy experience of raising children abroad.

We talk about pregnancy, parenting, relationships, identity, and building a support system far from home.

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe and share it with another expat parent who might need some expat family support today.

In this episode, Amanda and CJ explore the significance of attachment styles in early childhood and adult relationships, particularly for expat families. They discuss how early attachment shapes emotional stability and learning, the implications of the still face study, and common misconceptions about attachment. The conversation delves into the four adult attachment styles, the impact of moving abroad on attachment, and practical tips for new parents to foster secure attachments. They emphasize the importance of communication, repair in relationships, and creating stability through routines and rituals.

Podcast recommendations:

The Mel Robbin’s Podcast: Why do I love the way that I love? The 4 attachment styles explained: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3MC7N7rJW2KHoHdSQgmnCx?si=i7ioP_ddTSGBW68NSq3fTw

Dybdepsykologi: https://open.spotify.com/show/10J3TORvJKFMANnCHrimKd?si=qu9aTy2FQNypOC2HuYaI1w

In this episode of Expecting Expats, Amanda and CJ delve into the often misunderstood topic of perimenopause, a phase that affects millions of women globally. They are joined by Dr. Colette White, a clinician specializing in women's health, who shares her insights on the challenges women face during this transition. Dr. White emphasizes the importance of awareness and education regarding perimenopause, highlighting that symptoms can begin as early as the mid-30s and can include mood changes, sleep disturbances, and physical discomfort. Despite the prevalence of these symptoms, many women feel unprepared and unsupported due to a lack of information and stigma surrounding the topic.

Dr. White discusses her personal journey through motherhood and perimenopause, illustrating the unique challenges faced by expat women navigating healthcare systems in foreign countries. She stresses the importance of seeking evidence-based support and encourages women to document their symptoms to better communicate with healthcare providers. The conversation also touches on the misconceptions surrounding hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and the benefits it can offer, dispelling fears and promoting a proactive approach to managing health during this life stage. Overall, the episode serves as a valuable resource for women seeking clarity and support during their perimenopausal journey.

Link to Dr. White’s website: https://www.menocare.de/

Find her on instagram: @menocare_de

Podcast Recommendations:

• ​Unpacked with Anna & Emma: Episode 14, The Magic Formula for Thriving abroad: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6PLm1K0soaAuB8FYNH3Z5r?si=tqmxEN_HTTS7U5s9inq2Sw
• ​Wiser than me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus: https://open.spotify.com/show/3zaHNdVeLiqOSXwxdoWcij?si=iKdJTD83RYWt8n_mGrPOZw
• ​How to Fail by Elizabeth Day: https://open.spotify.com/show/4m7U7kNne0iu35HK571Ui8?si=Kzg847O9TOCtciKzFuPuMg

In this episode, Amanda and CJ explores the significant decline in sex among couples after having children, highlighting the various factors contributing to this change, including fatigue, caregiving demands, and shifts in couple dynamics.

Takeaways

* A lot of studies show that couples' sex life tends to decline after having kids.

* Fatigue, sleep disruption, and caregiving demands contribute to this decline.

* Change in roles and less couple time affects intimacy.

* As much as 60% of married couples report a decrease in sexual frequency after having kids.

* 30% say that sex has become less satisfying in the last five years after having kids.

* The decline in sexual frequency is a significant issue for many couples.

* Understanding these changes is crucial for maintaining intimacy.

* Couples need to find ways to reconnect after having children.

* Communication is key to addressing sexual satisfaction.

* Support systems can help couples navigate these challenges.

Podcast Recommendation: Motherhood Sessions: 2 Years Without Sex : https://open.spotify.com/episode/4oQ1SbW6yVw6ILUhixUeOs?si=m0Nn1kC5RraRBG6mYl2bRA

Book Recommendation: Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Ester Perel

In this episode of Expecting Expats, Amanda and CJ explore the profound identity shifts that accompany motherhood, particularly for those parenting abroad. They discuss personal experiences, the evolution of relationships, the importance of community support, and strategies for reclaiming one's identity amidst the challenges of motherhood. The conversation emphasizes that while the journey can be difficult, it ultimately leads to personal growth and a new understanding of self.

Takeaways

* Becoming a parent reshapes your identity in profound ways.

* Motherhood abroad adds layers of complexity to identity shifts.

* It's common to feel a sense of loss regarding your old self.

* The transition into motherhood often involves grief for your previous life.

* Community support is crucial for navigating motherhood.

* Reclaiming your identity is a step-by-step process.

* Relationships with partners and friends evolve after having children.

* Self-care practices, like meditation, can help in the transition.

* Understanding that motherhood is an evolution can provide relief.

* You're not alone in feeling lost; it's a shared experience among mothers.

Podcast recommendation:

This is Actually Happening (by Wondery)

Book recommendation: Boy mom (by Ruth Whippman)

Link to the podcast episode referred to: https://open.spotify.com/episode/26KSGRz0cYTubqqnp366d5?si=UynpSCuUS3ycpPzBhmursA

Amanda and CJ discusses how their New Years ritual unfolded and how they feel about the wish they are responsible for (listen to the holiday special episode for context). CJ also shares her considerations regarding having another child.

Podcast recommendations:

Dr. Death (from Wondery)

A Little Bit Culty

The Daily (from New York Times)

In this episode of Expecting Expats, Amanda and CJ delve into the complexities of maternity leave, discussing the pressures of productivity, cultural differences, and the often invisible labor involved in new parenthood. They share personal experiences and insights, emphasizing the importance of self-care, community support, and reframing expectations around maternity leave as a time of transformation rather than a break. The conversation highlights the need to recognize the value of care work and the unique challenges faced by new parents, encouraging listeners to give themselves grace during this significant life transition.

Podcast recommendations:

Unpacked - with Anna & Emma

Pink pill rx

In our first Expat Experts episode, we interview Annie Ueyama, cofounder of FitnessWerkstatt and extensive expertise in pre- and postnatal fitness. We discuss the often-overlooked topic of pelvic floor health. We explore the importance of pelvic floor training for women at all stages of life, the impact of pregnancy and aging on pelvic floor health, and the benefits of postpartum rehabilitation programs. Annie shares her personal journey as an expat and how sports have helped her build community across different countries. The conversation emphasizes the need for awareness and proactive care for pelvic floor health, as well as the importance of developing a good relationship with one's body.

Takeaways

* Pelvic floor health is crucial for women of all ages.

* Over one in three women over 55 experience urinary incontinence.

* Pelvic floor training is standard care in some countries.

* Annie's journey highlights the importance of sports in building community.

* Pregnancy and aging significantly impact pelvic floor health.

* A healthy pelvic floor supports core stability and overall well-being.

* C-sections still require pelvic floor training and care.

* It's never too late to start training your pelvic floor.

* Understanding your body is key to maintaining pelvic health.

Podcast recommendations:

• ​Pink pill RX: episode 40, Midwives, witches and Nazis
• ​Mel Robbins’ podcast
• ​Pelvic floor connection