PUMP IT UP! This week, we’re not holding back while we dissect the heavy-handed messages in The Substance (2024) about aging, body dysmorphia, and the general f*ckery of being a woman who happens to get older. Elisabeth and Sue share the title of Final Girl in this one, because they both find themselves up against a sinister antagonist threatening their sense of worth: The Patriarchy (particularly The Hollywood Patriarchy.) Is this one of the few movies you can leave and then feel BETTER about yourself? We think so…

Warning, spoilers ahead!

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It Follows (2014) has become a modern classic, and Jay has become a modern classic Final Girl. Haunted by trauma and a shapeshifting entity, Jay is not a typical Final Girl because she doesn’t get to toughen up or confront her villain. Instead, she must navigate the horrors reactively and depend on her friends to get through it. We love this movie, although it’s very somber and full of dread, because it truly leaves you guessing in every scene - is something following? And does anyone know where Sarah can get one of those clamshell e-readers?

Spoilers ahead!

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In this highly requested episode, we analyze Jawbreaker’s (1999) Fern Mayo/Vylette’s Final-ish Girl and her journey from invisible quiet nerd to Angelyne-coded bombshell. We cover if Julie is the TRUE Final Girl (probably) and the iconic Courtney (Satan in Heels) and the movie’s nasty candy namesake. She’s so evil, and she’s only in high school!

Beware, spoilers ahead!

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Wizard of Wiggle! Writer dreams and professional f*ckery! Wearing rings on top of gloves! This week, we're breaking down the Final Girl story of Ariel from Opus (2025), the A24 cult movie about a writer who finds herself in a slobbery, bloody situation at the compound of an aging pop star in the middle of nowhere, Utah. Will she escape before the Kool-Aid? Will she get a book deal or a byline by the time she's 35, which is basically 40? Time will tell!

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Good evening, Clarice! This week, we're covering the Final Girl story of Clarice Starling from The Silence of the Lambs (1991), one of our most competent Final Girls so far. Portrayed brilliantly by Jodie Foster, Clarice ABSOLUTELY is a Final Girl because she is vulnerable, strong, thoughtful, intentional, and just an overall badass. She feels like she has a lot to prove as a cadet in the FBI academy surrounded by a bunch of dudes who hit on her, and she does it all in spades. Warning, there are spoilers ahead!

Note: we use he/him pronouns for Buffalo Bill in this episode, as the character has been universally accepted as identifying as male.

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Happy Valentine's Day! Heart Eyes (2025) was a fan favorite last year, so we couldn't let this romantic holiday pass without covering Ally, its Final Girl who is afraid of blood and cynical about true love. And luckily, to celebrate the day of love, we have our podcast besties Matt and Katie from Getting Offed to help us break down the whole thing - from the 50/50 split of rom-com and horror to suction cup dildo weapons to red night vision masks and Detective Devon Sawa. Listen now before the Heart Eyes Killer comes to YOUR town! (Warning: spoilers!)

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Find Matt and Katie here:

Getting Offed - LinkTree and YouTube

SheLite Showcase - LinkTree

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It might be a stretch to call Maud from Saint Maud (2019) a Final Girl, because there’s no slasher, no chase sequence, no one coming to save her — not even God. Her horror is internal, spiritual, and exquisitely lonely. This episode explores Maud as a woman desperate for meaning in a world that offers her none, and how that desperation turns her inward, toward Heaven, and then outward with devastating consequences.

Spoiler Warning: This episode spoils everything and if you’ve seen it, yes – including the part you’re thinking about.

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This week, we cotton-candy-cocoon our way into the colorful, twisted world of Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988), discussing the film’s creative visual effects, memorable kills, and the unique quirks of our Final Girl, Debbie Stone. We also explore the movie’s cultural impact, comparing the dreaded clowns to modern horror icons and reflecting on Debbie's assertive, fearless nature. Join us for a hilarious and nostalgic breakdown of this iconic horror film! And make sure not to get popcorn in your bra. So uncomfortable.

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