This week we're reading Arsenal's Invincibles hero, former Germany number 1 and genuine madman, Jens Lehmann's poorly translated book 'The Madness Is On The Pitch'. Featuring Jens on Emmanuel Eboué, his heated rivalry with Oliver Kahn, and the not very tranquil way he's decided to spend his retirement. Plus James's dad's famous new referee friend, why British plugs are the best, and an extra special dramatic reading from Gunnerblog himself - James McNicholas.

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With great nervousness, we're venturing into the Alan Brazil multiverse once again. And joining us to do so, we welcome back Three Bean Salad & Beef and Dairy Network's very own Alan Brazil expert, Ben Partridge.

This time we're reading Alan's second book, 2008's 'Both Barrels From Brazil: My War On The Numpties' - written with his Talksport partner-in-crime Mike 'Porky' Parry. A collection of essays, loosely about football, but mainly about why he thinks the country's down the drain.

Featuring Alan's rants on the NHS, immigration, wii sports, and why policeman these days have too many cars. Plus Alan's mindblowing invention of double decker roads, and Mike Parry tells a joke that's so offensive the police have to be called.

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James Boughen takes over hosting duties this week, as he 'treats' us to - quite possibly - the dullest book ever written. Liverpool and Finland legend Sami Hyypiä's forgettable 2002 book 'From Voikkaa to the Premiership'.

Featuring Sami listening to rock music with Markus Babbel, his fledgling film career, lots of stuff about rye bread, run-ins with Ole Gunnar Solskjær, and why we ALL need to be careful when 'Hot Hyypiä' comes out. Plus Tash's unsuccessful sauna dates with Finnish men, Ken Zong gets a new rival, and Sami meets Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor...

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Ninety books in and we *may* have found the greatest, most sinister, and downright bonkers autobiography yet - as we read former Leeds, Newcastle and England hero David Batty's incredible 2001 book 'My Autobiography'. And reading it with us is The Independent's very own tactical mastermind & Newcastle superfan, the brilliant Adam Clery.

Featuring David's childhood love of the Yorkshire Ripper, his extremely unhealthy relationship with his dad's diary, Kevin Keegan having a breakdown, David James punching people in his sleep, why David will never have a bank card or an email address, and why he wasn't fussed when he missed the penalty that sent England out of the World Cup. Plus naked cinema pranks and a complete breakdown of all the countries David hated visiting.

In Adam's words, it's Patrick Bateman meets Alan Partridge. And it's a cracker.

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Rio Ferdinand - premier league winner, England legend and, to our knowledge, the only footballer to ever release an autobiography with a hashtag in its title.

This week we're reading his 2014 classic '#2Sides', featuring Rio on Fergie, racism, nice hats and why footballers should be able to eat as many chips as they like. Plus Rio's dressing room playlist, Harry Redknapp's incredibly lazy foreword, and the time P Diddy came to visit the Man United hotel...

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Sex, more sex, and *just a little bit* of football. This week we're reading ex-Newcastle United hero Mick Quinn's romp of a read (quite literally) 'Who Ate All The Pies', featuring Football Clichés and The England Pod's very own David Walker.

Including Mick's heroics at Newcastle, falling out with Kevin Keegan, high speed pulling on a motorway AND a TGI Friday's in Coventry, Mick's second career as a racehorse trainer, and very, very little on his spell for David's beloved Watford.

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It's (almost) Christmas! And as it's a time for giving, James has generously gifted each member of the Book Club FIVE WHOLE POUNDS to spend on the best, worst or downright weirdest football book they can find at a charity shop.

Featuring bizarrely drawn Liverpool legends, Tony Cascarino's unfortunate Boxing Day, a mysterious Christmas card, and we find out the Alan Shearer we *think* we know is actually an imposter..

Plus not one, but TWO festive Ken Zongs, The Carlisle Grinch, and James sadly figures out how to use the sound effect board.

Sorry. Merry Christmas. Sorry.

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This week on FBC Classics, we're heading back to our Series 2 opener, where we read Jerzy Dudek's incredibly titled 'A Big Pole In Our Goal', and found out about Jerzy's charmed life when it comes to cheating death by brick, boiling coffee, goose scares and almost drowning while fishing for cuttlefish in a mine.

To listen to the full episode, scroll back in your feeds to Series 2 Episode 1 'Jerzy Dudek's 'A Big Pole In Our Goal'.

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