How Not To Suck At Divorce Podcast By Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport cover art

How Not To Suck At Divorce

How Not To Suck At Divorce

By: Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport
Listen for free

Get divorce advice that most attorneys aren't giving. We break down unpopular divorce opinions and practical divorce tips that can save you thousands of dollars in legal fees, reduce stress, and help you avoid costly mistakes. How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity. Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over. Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time. Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat. What We Cover Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity. Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.) The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case. Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails. That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision. Who You’ll Hear Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails. Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce. Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce. Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy. Core Topics Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy. High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach. Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide. Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most. You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.Morgan L. Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport 2021-2025 Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • 199. Divorce Advice That Will Save You Thousands And Some Humor that Will Save You Sanity

    199. Divorce Advice That Will Save You Thousands And Some Humor that Will Save You Sanity
    Mar 25 2026
    GET THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE!In this mini episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill introduce something they’ve been quietly working on for months: the brand-new Divorce Crash Course (DCC).This project has truly been a labor of love—built to give people going through divorce the information most attorneys simply don’t have time to walk you through.And yes… this episode starts with Andrea surviving a spring break indoor water park, wearing airplane-sized noise-canceling headphones, smelling like pond water, and nearly losing her dignity.But once the laughter settles, Andrea and Morgan dive into something that could change the way you navigate your divorce.The Divorce Crash Course was created to help people avoid the most common—and most expensive—mistakes made during divorce.Because the truth is:Most people enter divorce with no roadmap, no strategy, and no idea what they don’t know yet.That’s where the DCC comes in.What Is the Divorce Crash Course?The Divorce Crash Course is a private podcast paired with a downloadable guidebook designed to walk you step-by-step through the divorce process.Inside the Crash Course, Andrea and Morgan break down the biggest issues people face in divorce and provide practical tools to help you make smarter decisions from the beginning.Unlike typical divorce resources, the DCC combines:a private podcast you can listen to anytimea printable guidebookclickable resources and templatesstep-by-step guidance on navigating divorceThe goal?To give you the same strategic insight Morgan gives her clients in a way that’s accessible, clear, and affordable.Why This Divorce Crash Course Is DifferentAndrea and Morgan spent hours building this program because they know how overwhelming divorce can feel.Instead of leaving people to figure things out alone, the Divorce Crash Course provides:A clear roadmap for navigating divorceGuidance on how to communicate with your attorneyTools to help you save money on legal feesTemplates to organize your finances and parenting plansInsider tips on avoiding costly divorce mistakesAnd thanks to the support of OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink, the program is available for a fraction of what similar legal resources cost.What You'll Learn in the Divorce Crash CourseThe Divorce Crash Course addresses some of the most common questions people have during divorce, including:How to Save Money on Divorce Attorney FeesLearn how to communicate with your attorney efficiently so you’re spending money where it matters most.What to Do With the Family HomeShould you keep the house or sell it? The course walks through how to think about this decision logically and strategically.How to Organize Your Divorce FinancesThe guidebook includes a custom marital balance sheet template that helps you track assets, debts, and financial information before speaking with your attorney.Parenting Plans and Custody AgreementsDivorce often becomes most emotional when discussing parenting time.The course includes:Common court-approved parenting schedulesKey provisions people forget to include in parenting agreementsTips for negotiating custody arrangements effectivelyThe Most Common Divorce MistakesAndrea and Morgan also break down the most frequent—and expensive—mistakes people make during divorce and how to avoid them.What's Included in the Divorce Crash CourseWhen you purchase the Divorce Crash Course, you’ll receive:A private podcast with five guided episodesA downloadable guidebook with clickable resourcesA divorce balance sheet templateCustody schedule examplesTools to help you communicate with your attorney and your exOnce purchased, the private podcast can be added directly to your preferred podcast app so you can listen just like a normal show.Andrea recommends listening to one episode at a time and working through the guidebook alongside it.Frequently Asked Question:Do I Need the New Divorce Crash Course if I Bought the Old One?This is the question Andrea has received most frequently.The answer: Yes, the new Divorce Crash Course is different.While some concepts may overlap with previous guides, this new version contains completely new content, additional tools, and a private podcast format that makes it easier to absorb the information step-by-step.Why Andrea and Morgan Created ThisAndrea went through divorce herself.Morgan has spent nearly two decades practicing family law.Between them, they’ve seen the same painful patterns over and over again:People making expensive mistakes simply because they didn’t know what questions to ask.The Divorce Crash Course was built to change that.It’s designed to give people the knowledge and tools they need to move through divorce with more clarity, confidence, and control.A Little Humor Along the WayThis mini episode wouldn’t be complete without the signature How Not To Suck At Divorce humor.Between discussing the Divorce Crash Course, Andrea shares:Her ...
    Show more Show less
    16 mins
  • 198. Divorce SOS: How to Respond to Threats and Aggressive Emails

    198. Divorce SOS: How to Respond to Threats and Aggressive Emails
    Mar 20 2026
    How to Respond to Threats and Aggressive Emails During Divorce: 2 Acronyms That Can Save Your SanityDivorce can make even the calmest person feel like they are about to unravel.One inflammatory text. One manipulative email. One last-minute demand from your soon-to-be ex.And suddenly your nervous system is on fire.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport share two simple acronyms designed to help you stop spiraling, regulate your nervous system, and decide whether a response is actually necessary.If you are dealing with high-conflict divorce communication, threatening messages, co-parenting drama, or an ex who knows exactly how to push your buttons, this episode will give you practical tools you can use immediately.Because when your ex is trying to bait you, your best move is not to react — it’s to get strategic.In This Episode, We Talk About:how to respond to threatening emails during divorcewhat to do when your ex sends an inflammatory texthow to stop emotional spiraling during divorcewhy your nervous system reacts so strongly to conflictthe best way to pause before responding to your exhow to tell if a message actually requires a responsewhen to call your divorce attorney and when not tohow to communicate strategically in a high-conflict divorcewhy not every “urgent” message is truly urgenthow co-parenting apps like Our Family Wizard can reduce stressWhy Divorce Communication Feels So TriggeringWhen you’re going through a divorce, communication with your ex is rarely neutral.Even a simple message can feel loaded. A text about travel, money, or the kids can instantly send your brain into panic mode — especially if the wording feels aggressive, manipulative, or threatening.Andrea explains that this is often a nervous system response. Your body reacts as though you are under attack, even if the threat is emotional rather than physical.That is why so many people:fire off emotional responsesregret what they wrote laterfeel hijacked by anxietyspend hours spiraling over one messageThis episode teaches listeners how to interrupt that pattern before it hurts their peace — or their case.Acronym #1: STOPThe first tool Morgan and Andrea teach is STOP, a simple framework designed to help listeners stop the immediate emotional unraveling.S — StopLiterally stop.Do not react. Do not respond. Do not keep ruminating.Say the word out loud if you have to:Stop.T — TemperatureChange your temperature to help regulate your nervous system.Andrea explains that cold temperature can help bring your system back online.Examples include:holding iceputting ice on your wristsdrinking ice-cold waterusing an ice roller on your faceO — OxygenBreathe.When people are triggered, they often hold their breath, tense up, and make the spiral worse.The key is to exhale first, then let yourself breathe back in.P — PriorityYour priority is your mental wellbeing, not firing back at your ex.Most messages do not require an immediate response.This is where listeners are reminded to give themselves at least an hour before doing anything.Why You Should Never Respond in the Same Emotional StateMorgan explains that when people respond too quickly, it is often obvious to attorneys, judges, and anyone reading the email that they got baited.That matters.Fast, emotional responses can:escalate conflictmake you look reactivestrengthen the other person’s sense of controlpotentially hurt your caseWhen someone knows they can trigger you instantly, they are more likely to keep doing it.That’s why creating time between the message and the response is such an important strategy in divorce communication.Acronym #2: THREATThe second acronym in the episode helps listeners figure out whether a response is warranted at all — and if so, how to respond strategically.T — TimingAsk yourself:Does this message actually need a response?If it does, do I need to respond today?The answer is often no.H — Highlight the parts that actually matterPull out the parts of the message that involve:your childrenmedical decisionsschedulingextracurricularsactual legal issuesIgnore the inflammatory filler.R — Redline the BSMorgan and Andrea encourage listeners to mentally cross out the emotional garbage.Most threatening divorce emails are full of:baitingexaggerationpersonal attacksirrelevant accusationsAndrea says it best:Most threatening emails are 80% emotional dribble-drabble garbage and only 20% actual legal issues.E — Emotionless evaluation of the factsLook at the message again without emotion and ask:Is there any actual merit here?Is anything true?Is there something that genuinely needs attention?A — Ask your attorneyIf the issue has merit or is really weighing on you, this is where your attorney comes in.Morgan reminds listeners that sometimes spending money on your lawyer is worth it for peace of mind and strategy.T — Take the strategic routeOnce you’ve gone through the steps above, you can decide ...
    Show more Show less
    30 mins
  • 197. 5 Things You Should NEVER Do During a Divorce- And an Embarrasing Story- Mini Episode

    197. 5 Things You Should NEVER Do During a Divorce- And an Embarrasing Story- Mini Episode
    Mar 18 2026
    Divorce is emotional. It's stressful. And if you're not careful, it can also become incredibly expensive.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares five things you should absolutely never do during a divorce — from serious legal mistakes that can impact your case to a few embarrassing (but very real) moments she experienced during her own divorce.Because when emotions are running high, it’s easy to make decisions that feel good in the moment but can create bigger problems later.Whether you're navigating divorce right now or trying to prepare for what lies ahead, these practical tips will help you avoid common pitfalls and stay focused on what actually matters.Why Divorce Mistakes Can Cost You More Than You ThinkOne of the hardest parts of divorce is that you’re making major legal and financial decisions while under extreme emotional stress.During this episode, Andrea explains why some of the most common divorce mistakes happen when people:react emotionally instead of strategicallyrely on advice from the wrong sourcesallow their ex to provoke them into conflictbring outside people into the legal dramaLearning how to pause, reset, and respond thoughtfully can save you thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees — and a lot of unnecessary stress.The 5 Divorce Mistakes You Should Never Make1. Taking Legal Advice From Friends Who Got Divorced in Another State (or Another Decade)Divorce laws vary dramatically depending on where you live and when the divorce occurs.Andrea explains why taking advice from a friend who was divorced years ago — or in another state — can create unrealistic expectations and costly confusion.For example:Some states are more likely to award long-term alimonyOther states focus on short-term rehabilitative supportProperty division laws vary significantly across jurisdictionsRelying on outdated or out-of-state advice can lead to misunderstandings and expensive conversations with your attorney.2. Speaking in Court When No One Asked You ToDivorce court can be intimidating — especially in the age of virtual hearings.Andrea shares a hilarious (and slightly humiliating) story about accidentally unmuting herself during a Zoom court hearing when the judge was actually addressing an attorney with the same last name.Lesson learned:Never unmute yourself in court unless the judge is speaking directly to you.3. Responding to Threatening Emails ImmediatelyWhen you're in the middle of a divorce, aggressive emails or legal threats can trigger an emotional reaction.But responding immediately is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.Research shows it takes about 20 minutes for your nervous system to reset after a stressful event.Andrea recommends waiting at least an hour before responding, and using that time to regulate your body with simple strategies like:taking a walkdrinking ice-cold waterholding ice to your wristsdoing quick bursts of physical movementResponding calmly and strategically is always better than reacting emotionally.4. Bringing Your New Relationship Into the Divorce DramaDating during divorce happens more often than people admit.But involving your new partner in the details of your divorce can create unnecessary complications.Andrea explains why bringing your new love interest into legal conflicts can:create loyalty conflictsgenerate bad adviceescalate emotional tensionInstead, keep your dating life separate from the legal process whenever possible.5. Believing the Negative Things Your Ex Says About YouPerhaps the most important advice in this episode:Do not internalize the hurtful things your soon-to-be ex says about you during the divorce process.In many cases, these comments are designed to weaken your confidence or gain leverage in negotiations.Divorce is not the time to determine your self-worth.Your job right now is simply to survive the process and move forward.Healing and personal growth come later — after the legal storm has passed.Divorce Is a Marathon, Not a SprintDivorce often feels like an emotional roller coaster.Some days you’ll feel strong and hopeful. Other days you’ll feel completely overwhelmed.That’s normal.The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone in this process.The How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast exists to provide practical divorce advice, real-life experiences, and the support you need to navigate this difficult chapter with confidence.Coming Up Next on the PodcastIn this week’s full episode, Andrea and Morgan introduce two powerful acronyms designed to help you:respond to threats during divorcemanage aggressive communicationprotect your case while staying calmIf you struggle with how to respond to your ex during divorce, you won’t want to miss it.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another ...
    Show more Show less
    23 mins
All stars
Most relevant
I’m so glad this podcast exists. Divorce is not fun and it’s complicated and emotional. But the hosts not only break the process down, they are hilarious and lovable. Thank you for bringing lightness, humor and hope to a heavy topic! I binged the whole season..please have a season 2!!!

Fave new podcast

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.