In this very special edition of How to Stay Human, Tori Gordon sits down with co-host Kyle to discuss the release of her highly anticipated debut book, ALTAR: Modern Psalms for a New Earth. This episode explores the profound vulnerability of taking 34 years of private journaling, spiritual seeking, and internal processing, and placing it into the public sphere. Tori shares why she turned down a major book deal years ago, the necessity of honoring divine timing, and why the spiritual path is less about learning something new and more about unlearning what is false. They dive deep into the framework of the book—breaking down the ALTAR acronym (Abundance, Love, Truth, Awakening, and Remembrance)—and discuss how to navigate the thresholds of initiation required to drop our masks.

Tori also provides a live, grounded reading of Psalm 17, “For the One Who Seeks,” offering a powerful transmission for anyone who has outgrown traditional boxes but still hungers for something sacred. If you are a seeker carrying more questions than answers, this episode is your reminder that your restlessness is a sign of aliveness, your humanity is part of your divine design, and you are already on sacred ground.

Key Topics & Timestamps:

[00:00] Introduction & the story behind turning down a book deal to honor divine timing.

[05:00] Tori’s relationship with writing as the safest space for honest selfexpression.

[08:00] The vulnerability of sharing 34 years of private seeking with the world.

[11:00] Why the spiritual path is about unlearning falsehoods rather than acquiring new information.

[13:00] Breaking down the ALTAR acronym: Abundance, Love, Truth, Awakening, and Remembrance.

[16:00] Writing for those who have outgrown traditional dogma but still seek the sacred.

[19:00] How to engage with the book depending on where you are in your healing journey.

[25:00] A live, somatic reading of Psalm 17: “For the One Who Seeks.”

[30:00] How to access the ALTAR companion app for daily practices, AI reflections, and live sacred ceremonies.

[33:00] Closing thoughts: Why your humanity is not a block to your divinity, but the path to it.

Sponsor: This episode is brought to you by Anywhere Clinic. Take control of your mental and physical well-being today. Visit www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon to learn more and get started.

Pre-order Tori’s new book, ALTAR: Modern Psalms for a New Earth, available NOW! Get your copy here: torigordon.com/book

Connect with Tori: Website: www.torigordon.com

Instagram: @thetorigordon

Podcast: How to Stay Human

Substack: How to Stay Human on Substack

The ALTAR App: altar.torigordon.com

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We’re feeling awfully human in this episode.

Tori shares the heart behind her Substack piece “What I Wish Men Knew” — a love letter to men from a woman who loves men deeply — and opens up a raw conversation about what’s unfolding in our culture right now, including the way patriarchal conditioning has harmed women, men, and children.

Kyle reflects on the paradox of our time: we live in a world historically dominated by men, and yet men are deeply struggling. We talk about why emotional suppression, isolation, and imbalance have become normalized, how numbness kills empathy, and why unregulated power is dangerous — not because men are bad, but because the system has trained men to equate masculinity with dominance, productivity, and disconnection from the heart.

This isn’t a takedown of men. It’s a call forward.

We explore what healthy masculinity looks like in 2026: integrity, accountability, emotional literacy, repair, devotion, and embodied leadership. We also name something many people feel but rarely say out loud: women are not only afraid of men’s anger — they’re afraid of men’s numbness, because numbness is where empathy goes to die.

If you’ve felt overwhelmed by what’s coming to light in the world, or if you’ve felt the hunger for a new model of leadership, love, and partnership — this episode is for you.

Why Tori wrote “What I Wish Men Knew” as a love letter to men

The patriarchy as a system, not a villain

The three primary wounds men carry: emotional suppression, loneliness, imbalance

Why numbness is more dangerous than anger

Why repair is the missing ingredient in so many relationships

The difference between anger and boundaries

What integrity looks like when no one is watching

Why “success” without fulfillment collapses

How men can rebuild: emotional literacy, men’s community, regulation, shadow integration

How partners can support men without mothering them

The future we believe is possible: men with strong spines and soft hearts

“What I Wish Men Knew” (a letter to men)
https://torigordon.substack.com/p/what-i-wish-men-knew?r=5suqhm

Instagram: @howtostayhumanpod

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-stay-human/id1475408897
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4e62a5zpupdFpkErMiEimz?si=796f176cadd14370
YouTube: https://youtu.be/7S0pRiUpZHE?si=Wg0dqtyvnqWqIa6A

Explore Groundwork (nervous system literacy + regulation + emotional intelligence):
www.torigordon.com/groundwork

If this episode hit something in you, share it with a man you love — or a woman who’s tired of carrying the emotional weight alone.

Today’s episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic — a mental health clinic offering a holistic approach to wellbeing, including psychiatric care, medication management, ketamine therapy, TMS, talk therapy, and peak performance coaching. Anywhere Clinic supports individuals and families navigating anxiety, depression, ADHD, PTSD, insomnia, and more, with personalized care plans designed to help you find mental clarity, inner peace, and real momentum.

To learn more, book a consultation or explore care options, visit www.Anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The world feels intense right now.

From political shakeups to cultural instability, rapid AI acceleration to social unrest, many of us are asking the same question:

How do we stay informed without becoming overwhelmed?
How do we lead without burning out?
How do we stay human in the chaos?

In this episode of How to Stay Human, Tori Gordon and Kyle Herron explore the intersection of nervous system regulation, emotional intelligence, leadership, and sovereignty in a rapidly changing world.

This is a conversation about nervous system mastery, high performance without burnout, and why the next generation of leaders must be regulated leaders.

Tori shares the framework behind her 6-week transformational container, Groundwork, and explains why nervous system literacy is the foundation of sustainable success, emotional safety, intuitive leadership, and deep presence.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck in survival mode, constantly scanning for threat, or exhausted from pushing your way through life, this episode is for you.

• How to balance staying informed with staying regulated
• Chronic threat detection and hypervigilance in the digital age
• Why hustle culture creates burnout and emotional disconnection
• The Human Experience Map and the “Red Zone” of dysregulation
• Emotional defense patterns: people pleasing, shutdown, lone wolf, stonewalling
• Internal Family Systems (IFS) and parts work explained simply
• How nervous system capacity expands abundance and opportunity
• Why the future belongs to regulated leaders
• Moving from survival mode to sovereignty

Virtual psychiatric care from licensed providers, including medication management and ketamine therapy options (where eligible).
Appointments can start as low as $120. Insurance may apply.

Learn more: anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

Comprehensive lab testing that gives you real data on your health so you can make informed decisions about longevity, energy, and performance.

Explore your biomarkers with Function Health. Use code TORIG25 for $25 off your membership www.functionhealth.com/torigordon

If this episode resonated, it may be time to build your internal foundation.

Groundwork is Tori Gordon’s 6-week nervous system mastery and emotional intelligence program designed for high performers, leaders, and impact-driven humans who are ready to move from survival to sovereignty.

• Inside Groundwork, you’ll learn:
• Nervous system literacy and stabilization
• Emotional intelligence and trigger archetypes
• Parts work and Internal Family Systems
• Intuition and inner authority development
• Practical tools to regulate in real time

Start with the free Nervous System Defense Patterns Quiz:

👉 www.torigordon.com/groundwork

Enrollment details and program information available at the same link.

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Everyone says they want community.

But most people don’t have it.

In this episode of How to Stay Human, Tori Gordon and Kyle Herron pick up where last week left off and break down why the word community has been diluted—and what it actually takes to build something real.

Community is not a follower count.
It’s not a group chat.
It’s not “good vibes.”

Real community is embodied, relational, and reciprocal. It requires participation, structure, boundaries, and repair. If it doesn’t ask anything from you, it’s not community—it’s proximity with branding.

Kyle shares a practical framework for building communities that last (paid or unpaid), including mission/vision, agreements, member selection, leadership, feedback loops, and the containers that create trust over time. Tori breaks down the biggest myths that cause people to crave community while resenting the effort it requires.

Because the future doesn’t need more online audiences.
It needs villages.

• Why “community” has been watered down in the digital age
• The truth: community is inconvenient by design
• Why aligned communities still cost energy (and why that’s normal)
• The myth that a community should meet all your needs
• What makes communities fragile—and how to protect them
• A step-by-step framework to build a real community where you live

Anywhere Clinic
Virtual psychiatric care from the comfort of your home. Support includes medication management and ketamine therapy options (where eligible). Appointments can start as low as $120. Check if your insurance covers it.
Visit: anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

Function Health
Get clear, comprehensive lab testing and real data on what’s happening inside your body so you can make smarter decisions with your health. USE CODE: TORIG25 for $25 off your membership.
Learn more: FunctionHealth.com/torigordon

If this episode hit, follow the show and share it with one person you want to go deeper with this year.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5CW60wbPxLzr5zOBRAB0jR?si=c1b37dab534a4704
YouTube: https://youtu.be/jber8KlebnU?si=HKmU-nUFX_X9vLad
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-stay-human/id1475408897?i=1000747092963

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In the most connected generation in human history, why are so many people quietly falling apart in isolation?

In this episode of How to Stay Human, Kyle and Tori unpack the loneliness epidemic—and why it’s not just a “sad feeling,” but a real threat to our physical health, mental wellbeing, and long-term resilience. If you’ve ever had a lot of people around you but still felt alone, this conversation is for you.

Kyle shares a shocking insight from a health longevity conversation: loneliness is one of the most lethal forces impacting human health today. Together, they explore how our culture has traded depth for breadth, why adult friendships often dissolve into “surface-level proximity,” and how social media can create a false sense of closeness that leaves us even more disconnected.

You’ll also learn a practical framework for rebuilding real connection: the Four Circles of Relationship—a way to map the people in your life so you know who is truly core, who is inner circle, who is outer circle, and who is simply an acquaintance. This episode invites you to stop taking friendship for granted and start treating your most important relationships with the same intention you give to your career, goals, and romantic partnerships.

Because real friendship isn’t something you “luck into.” It’s something you build—through consistency, vulnerability, reciprocity, and care.

• Why loneliness impacts physical health (stress, cortisol, heart disease, and more)
• The difference between being “connected” online and being known in real life
• Why adult life makes friendship harder (survival mode, busyness, and the dopamine scroll)
• A story that reveals how much we’ve confused audience for friendship
• Why closeness isn’t history, proximity, blood, or nostalgia—it’s access + truth

The Four Circles of Relationship framework:

• Acquaintances
• Outer Circle
• Inner Circle
• Core (chosen family)

The real test of friendship: who answers when life falls apart

A powerful exercise to audit your relationships and name where dissonance exists

Why vulnerability is leadership—and why you can’t be loved if you can’t be seen

How deeper relationships become a form of resistance in a dividing world

Who do I call when I’m not okay?

Who thinks they’re close to me… but doesn’t actually have access to my real life?

Which relationships am I maintaining out of habit, history, or image?

Who is on the edge of my outer/inner circle—and do I want to deepen it?

This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic, a virtual mental health provider offering expert support from the comfort of your home. Whether you’re exploring ketamine therapy, need medication management, or want a supportive psychiatric guide, you can prioritize your mental health today.
Book an appointment for as low as $120 or check whether your insurance covers it at www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

In the next episode, we go deeper into the how: how to build real community, what it means to be a good friend, and what sustainable connection actually requires.

If this episode hit home, share it with someone you love—and take one small step toward connection this week.

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If you’ve been feeling behind, stuck, or like your goals keep slipping through your fingers, this episode will reframe everything.

Tori shares her original framework, The 7 Seasons of Becoming Human, to help you identify where you are right now and stop forcing strategies that don’t match your current season. Because growth isn’t linear. You don’t “graduate” into constant momentum. You cycle. You rebuild. You reorient. And when you learn to work with your season instead of fighting it, your life gets clearer and more easeful.

Kyle joins as a student in the conversation, sharing real examples of moving through disruption, liminality, experimentation, devotion, and founding, and how seasons shape our ability to create goals that actually stick.

At the end, Tori shares how to take the 7 Seasons quiz and where to go deeper with the Substack series.

- Why “linear growth” is a myth (and what’s actually true)

- How to identify the season of life you’re in right now

- Why you can be in different seasons across different areas (business, health, relationships, faith)

The 7 Seasons breakdown:

• Comfort (belonging, structure, conformity)
• Disruption (initiation, rupture, awakening)
• Liminality (the in-between, surrender, identity dissolving)
• Discovery (curiosity, experimentation, aliveness)
• Decision/Devotion (choice, integrity, cutting off other paths)
• Founding (systems, discipline, sustainability)
• Stewardship (legacy, service, wisdom)

- The question each season asks you (so you stop shaming yourself and start listening)

- How to stop “swimming upstream” with your goals

- Why your friends’ advice might be wrong for you (they’re often in a different season)

- How to communicate your season to your partner, friends, and team for better support

Take the 7 Seasons of Becoming Human Quiz: https://torigordon.com/seven-seasons

Read the 7 Seasons Substack series: https://torigordon.substack.com

Contact: hello@torigordon.com or info@howtostayhuman.org

Today’s episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic — a mental health clinic offering a holistic approach to well-being with psychiatric care, medication management, ketamine therapy, TMS, talk therapy, and peak performance coaching. Anywhere Clinic supports anxiety, depression, ADHD, PTSD, insomnia, and more, with personalized care plans across multiple U.S. states.

If you’re looking for support that blends modern clinical care with a whole-human approach, check out Anywhere Clinic and explore their services.

Visit www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

If this episode helped you, subscribe for new weekly episodes of How to Stay Human.
Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or watch the full episode on YouTube.
And if you take the quiz, share what season you’re in — it changes how you set goals in 2026.

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As 2025 comes to a close, Kyle and Tori invite you into a more human way to plan your next chapter—one that honors your energy, your nervous system, and the natural rhythm of life.

We reflect on the state of humanity in 2025—polarization, system breakdowns, and the quiet revolution of people choosing a more conscious path. Then we shift into a practical framework for 2026: why New Year’s resolutions often fail, how winter is meant for reflection, and how to create goals that are simple, measurable, meaningful, and aligned with your inner authority.

Kyle shares the SMART goal framework, breaks goal-setting into personal vs. professional, and maps personal goals through the seven energetic bodies (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, primal, social, financial) plus life logistics. Tori grounds the conversation with the core reminder: don’t follow the crowd—follow your truth, your body, and your season of life.

If you’ve been forcing goals that don’t stick, this episode will give you a new map.

• How to reflect on 2025 using themes (integration, not pressure)
• Why winter is for slowness, stillness, and intention-setting
• How to create SMART goals that you can actually sustain
• The seven energetic bodies goal framework (plus life logistics)
• How to balance maintenance and experimentation
• Why inner authority matters more than dogma
• How to stop chasing someone else’s life and build your own

This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic, a mental health clinic with a holistic approach to care, including psychiatric care, medication management, ketamine therapy, TMS, talk therapy, and family counseling.
Learn more / book a consult: www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

Substack: torigordon.substack.com

Instagram: @howtostayhumanpod @thetorigordon @kyleaherron

Website: torigordon.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Relationship agreements only work if you actually use them. In this episode, Tori Gordon and Kyle Herron share how to implement relationship agreements in real life: how to recognize when you’re drifting, how to regulate before you react, and how to build weekly check-ins that keep love practical, safe, and alive.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Use relationship agreements as guardrails (like bowling bumpers) to stay aligned with your shared vision
• Spot the signs you’re drifting (in your body, mood, tension, and motivation)
• Practice the “Sacred Pause” before reacting when you’re dysregulated
• Create emotional safety so vulnerability becomes a source of trust (and attraction)
• Use weekly check-in questions to prevent resentment and strengthen connection
• Track “ouchies” and wins so the little stuff doesn’t become the big stuff
• Ask for support in a way that improves efficiency, intimacy, and teamwork
• Bring play back into your partnership (without needing a “reason”)

Key Concepts & Frameworks

• Agreements as guardrails: A living manual for repair, regulation, and alignment
• The Sacred Pause: Pause → regulate → return to the agreement → choose your next step
• Ouchies: Naming small hurts before they stack into resentment
• Weekly rhythm: A light structure that becomes more fluid over time
• Mutual accountability: Repair is reciprocal, not one person “doing the work”

Weekly Check-In Questions (steal these)

• What did I do this week that you loved?
• How could I have loved you better this week?
• Do you have any “ouchies” we need to bring presence to?
• What support do you need from me in the coming days?
• What would be fun for you this week?
• Where are we aligned with our shared vision right now?
• Where are we drifting? What agreement isn’t being honored?
• What responsibility am I taking for how I show up this week?

Resources

Substack: Relationship agreements + check-in questions (paid subscribers get the full formats Tori & Kyle use): https://torigordon.substack.com

Get our Relationship Agreements Starter Pack: https://torigordon.gumroad.com/l/ikkcp

Instagram: @howtostayhumanpod | @thetorigordon

If you loved this episode:
Send it to your partner or best friend, and try one question together tonight.

Sponsor: Anywhere Clinic
This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic—your online destination for high-quality mental health and hormone optimization.

Whether you're exploring ketamine therapy, need psychiatric medication management, or want ongoing support from experienced clinicians, Anywhere Clinic brings expert care to you—wherever you are.

💻 Book your first appointment or explore holistic mental health options now at:
anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.