What if your kindness isn’t kindness at all, but a survival strategy? In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW unpack the often-overlooked link between the trauma response of fawning and people-pleasing by reframing the habit of saying “yes” as a survival mechanism rather than a personality trait. Together, they explore how the fawn response develops as a way to stay safe—appeasing others to avoid danger, conflict, rejection, or loss—and how that pattern can quietly take over our relationships, jobs, and identity. From staying in relationships too long to overextending at work, Christopher and Kenyon connect the dots between fear, early conditioning, and the compulsive need for validation while breaking down the four distinct types of people-pleasers. They also examine the emotional and physical toll of chronic self-abandonment, including resentment, anxiety, and stress held in the body. At its core, this episode is an invitation to recognize the fears that drive most people-pleasing—and to begin the work of reclaiming your boundaries, your voice, and your sense of self.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW explore the powerful connection between movement and mental health. What begins as a conversation about running quickly expands into a deeper look at how physical activity, sleep, hydration, and nutrition shape emotional well-being. Drawing from both clinical experience and insights from Harvard metabolic health advocate Dr. Chris Palmer, they challenge the idea that mental health exists only in the mind—introducing a more integrated view of brain and body. From winter stagnation and “freeze mode” to the cultural pressure to overwork and under-rest, Christopher and Kenyon unpack how disconnection from the body can quietly fuel anxiety, depression, and a loss of motivation. The conversation also explores how neglecting our basic needs can erode confidence, strain relationships, and limit our ability to feel present in our own lives. Rather than offering extreme solutions, Christopher and Kenyon return to something more fundamental: the small, consistent choices that help regulate the nervous system and restore a sense of balance. At its core, this episode is a reminder that we are not machines built for constant output. We are human beings who require movement, rest, and connection to function. Because sometimes the path out of a mental spiral isn’t more thinking. Sometimes it’s as simple, and as difficult, as getting up and moving.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

In Part Two of this two-part conversation, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW continue their dialogue with grief, loss, and bereavement therapist and Fordham University professor Kat Hurley, LCSW—exploring what grief actually looks like in the mind, body, and daily life. Kat shares powerful ways of understanding loss, including the idea that grief doesn’t shrink over time and that the real work of grief is learning how to carry it. The conversation expands into grief literacy, and unpacking the emotional, cognitive, and physical symptoms—like brain fog, irritability, exhaustion, and dissociation—that often make grieving people feel like they’re “going crazy." Along the way, they explore concepts like anticipatory grief, disenfranchised grief, and ambiguous loss—forms of grief that often go unrecognized or unsupported. Ultimately, this episode invites listeners to rethink their relationship with loss and mortality by reminding us that confronting grief can deepen our compassion, clarify what matters most, and help us live more fully while we’re here.

To learn more about Kat Hurley, LCSW, visit the Alis Volat Propriis Place website and connect with her on LinkedIn and Instagram.

Four book titles that Kat recommends in this episode for people facing grief, loss, and bereavement:
Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief by Joanne Cacciatore, PhD
It’s OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand by Megan Devine, LPC
The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller
Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe by Laura Lynne Jackson

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.