Hi, I’m Leila, and I’m currently doing a PhD exploring the experiences of women who are independent workers, including entrepreneurs, freelancers, and the self-employed, who use online communities as part of their working lives.

My first study is collecting data through a series of interviews with women and community hosts across two online communities where I’m also a paying member. These are spaces I didn’t join as a researcher, but as someone looking for connection, support, and belonging in independent work.

Alongside the research itself, I’ll be keeping a series of blog posts as part of my reflexivity practice. These posts will sit under a little series I’m calling Field Notes (from the Inside) reflections on researching communities I belong to, in real time.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila Ainge speaks with entrepreneur Femke Harris about the unexpected twists that shape our lives. From growing up as a third-culture kid in Hong Kong to managing operations on a NATO base in Afghanistan, Femke’s career path has been anything but predictable.

Together they explore the psychology of resilience, identity and adaptation when life doesn’t follow the plan we imagined. Femke shares how major life transitions – moving countries, career pivots, motherhood and COVID-era uncertainty – ultimately led her to create the Merry-go-round Club, a sustainable baby equipment rental service designed to support parents and reduce waste.

This conversation explores how unexpected change can strengthen confidence, reshape identity and open the door to meaningful work.

Topics include resilience, entrepreneurship, motherhood, community support, and the psychology of adapting when life throws curveballs.

Femke Harris: "I'm a third culture kid, mother, founder and former international operations lead. I’ve lived and worked across Hong Kong, Belgium, the UK, Afghanistan and France including senior roles managing sales strategy in APAC and logistics contracts in complex environments. Along the way I’ve navigated motherhood, global relocations, and major life transitions, and more recently founded my own business. My path has been defined less by planning and more by adaptation.”

https://merrygoround.club/

What if one of the most powerful mental health tools was already in your garden?

In this episode, I’m joined by horticultural therapist Kendall Marie Platt to explore the science behind soil, why getting your hands in the dirt can change your mood, and how gardening might help us regulate stress in ways modern life often forgets.

And in many ways, Kendall’s story captures the spirit of this season’s theme: expect the unexpected. From forensic science labs to flowers and soil, her journey is a reminder that sometimes the paths we never planned are the ones that reconnect us with what really matters.

Kendall Marie Platt is a horticultural therapist and founder of Adventures with Flowers. She combines horticultural therapy with sensory-led garden design to help people use gardening as a practical antidote to burnout. Through her membership The Seed, 1:1 programmes and garden-along sessions, she helps people create restorative spaces that support both body and mind.

She is a writer, speaker and facilitator who has appeared on This Morning, BBC Radio and in publications including The Independent, The Telegraph, Happiful and Reclaim. www.adventureswithflowers.com/aboutkendall

Leila Ainge is a psychologist, researcher and coach who helps people use psychology to work with more clarity, confidence and joy. Her work brings together research, reflection and practical insight so you can use evidence in ways that make sense for you.

More details at www.leilaainge.co.uk

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila Ainge checks back in with coaches Emma Thomas and Lucy Green a few months after they set ambitious business goals. The conversation reveals how real progress unfolds.

Emma shares how a community project had to pause due to unforeseen circumstances and teases us with a new book project!. Lucy reflects on launching her programme Good Company, which sparked strong interest but fewer sales than expected, leading her to adapt the offer and rethink how clients take their first steps into corporate work.

Across the conversation, a common theme emerges: the process of pursuing goals generates insight, momentum, and new opportunities. Both coaches discover that experimentation, reflection, and small pivots are valuable.

The episode explores the psychology behind this, including anticipated failure, experimentation, and the role of community and accountability in sustaining progress. Ultimately, the takeaway is simple when you pursue a goal, the real reward is often what you learn along the way.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila is joined by three Goal Sprint participants, Hannah Isted, Jen Vaughan and Darren Scotland, for an honest progress check-in just weeks into the year.

Together they explore:

• Why momentum matters more than motivation

• How perfectionismblocks progress (and how to move anyway)

• The psychology of getting out of your comfort zone from running faster to showing up online

• Why community support accelerates confidence and behaviour change

• How small actions create belief, not the other way around

• Letting go of “gatekeepers” and reframing rejection

• Using goals as direction, not pressure

You’ll hear:

Hannah share how pushing past “safe effort” transformed her running

Jen open up about visibility fears, tech discomfort, and building connection in business from the ground up.

Darren reflect on perfectionism, creative momentum, community collaboration and turning setbacks into progress.

Leila weaves in psychological insights around effort, behaviour change, self-criticism, resource conservation, social comparison and why progress rarely looks linear.

If you’ve ever:

• Set a goal and felt stuck straight after

• Waited to feel confident before acting

• Struggled with perfectionism or fear of visibility

• Wondered why progress feels slower than expected

This episode will help you understand what’s really happening in your brain and how to work with it rather than against it.

What actually happens to your confidence once you start pursuing a goal?

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, psychologist Leila Ainge checks back in with three creatives who set goals on the podcast weeks earlier, Graphic Designer Bhavini, Animator Duncan and Documentary Maker Dany. Instead of tidy success stories, you’ll hear what goal pursuit looks like in real life, confidence rising and dipping, perfectionism showing up, comparison creeping in, and plans changing shape.

Through honest reflection and psychological insight, this episode explores why confidence doesn’t grow in a straight line, how visibility reduces fear over time, and why setbacks and pivots are often signs of progress rather than failure.

If you’re navigating imposter feelings, struggling with comparison, or wondering why motivation feels inconsistent, this episode offers reassurance and a more realistic picture of change.

Why do resolutions wobble just when we think they should be working?

This episode explores avoidance crafting, impatience, burnout, and how goals, habits, and mental distance shape real progress especially in January.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila explores the intricacies of human behavior, particularly focusing on the themes of resolutions, goals, and habits. She discusses the common pitfalls of New Year's resolutions, the importance of understanding the difference between resolutions and goals, and how habits play a crucial role in achieving these goals. Leila also delves into the impact of social comparison on our progress and introduces the concept of mental distance as a strategy to combat burnout and maintain motivation. The episode emphasizes the importance of community support and self-compassion in the journey towards personal development.

takeaways

• January often feels like the longest month of the year.
• Resolutions are declarations linked to identity and values.
• Goals provide structure and direction for achieving resolutions.
• Habits require time to show their impact and rewards.
• Impatience can lead to negative feelings about progress.
• Social comparison can intensify feelings of uncertainty.
• Mental distance can protect against burnout.
• Avoidance crafting can be a strategic approach to stress.
• Community support can enhance motivation and accountability.
• Self-compassion is crucial in the goal-setting process.

Leila's Research Services.

From fast-turnaround, tailored insight report for freelancers, founders, and thoughtful doers who want evidence-backed answers, to retained services to support your PR messaging as you launch

You bring the questions and curiosity, I bring back a bespoke, research-informed insights packed with plain-language psychology, strategic prompts, and deep, usable clarity. It’s not theory for theory’s sake. It’s practical insight you can apply immediately.

head to www.leilaainge.co.uk

Why do goals that feel exciting at first suddenly become exhausting even when we care deeply about them?

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, I explore why goals often become unsustainable not because of a lack of motivation or discipline, but because they’re designed for ideal conditions rather than real life.

Drawing on psychology, environmental thinking, and embodied cognition, we look at how our physical and emotional environments quietly shape what we’re able to sustain long before willpower ever comes into play.

You’ll be introduced to the concept of solastalgia, a term that describes the distress we feel when the places we call home change in ways that feel out of our control. Originally coined by environmental philosopher Glenn Albrecht, solastalgia helps us put language to a sense of discomfort many of us feel right now — at home, at work, and in the wider world.

We also explore:

1. Why goal-setting advice often assumes a resource-neutral world
2. How embodied cognition explains the link between clutter, noise, uncertainty and mental fatigue
3. Why living in a brittle, anxious, non-linear environment (often described as BANI or VUCA) quietly drains our capacity
4. How Conservation of Resources theory reframes burnout, confidence loss, and stalled momentum
5. Why sustainability isn’t the opposite of ambition — it’s the condition that allows momentum to exist

Rather than asking “How much more can I push?”, this episode invites a different question:

What can my current environment realistically support without depletion?

You’ll leave with two practical reflections to help you:

1. Name your real working environment (without minimising it)
2. Redesign your goals so they create more resources than they consume

This episode is especially relevant if you’re:

1. Feeling stuck or depleted despite caring about your goals
2. Parenting, creating, caregiving, coaching, or leading in uncertain conditions
3. Questioning whether the problem is you — or the system you’re operating within

Find out more about booking me as a researcher for hire at www.leilaainge.co.uk