S1:E14 – HEATHER O'CONNOR "When Your Abuser Uses the Court Against You"

High-conflict divorce, parental alienation, weaponized restraining orders, and how abusers manipulate the family court system — Massachusetts family law attorney Heather O'Connor joins Becky Sampson on the Divorcing Strong™ Podcast with a raw, unflinching conversation about what happens when the legal system becomes your abuser's newest weapon. You did everything right. You filed for protection. You told the truth. And now your ex is using the court — the very system that was supposed to protect you — to control, punish, and silence you. You're not imagining it. It's called legal abuse, and family law attorney Heather O'Connor has spent her career fighting it. Heather didn't just study high-conflict divorce — she lived it. She left an unhealthy marriage with three young children and a high school diploma, put herself through college and law school, and built O'Connor Family Law into one of Massachusetts' most recognized family law firms. Her practice focuses on the cases other attorneys avoid: domestic violence, parental alienation, weaponized restraining orders, and the high-conflict custody battles where everything is at stake. If you feel like the system is rigged against you, your ex is making false allegations to win custody, or you're losing hope that anyone in family court actually cares about the truth — this episode will make you feel seen and give you a strategy. 🔑 What You'll Learn in This Episode: How abusers weaponize the court system — false allegations, frivolous motions, and manufactured emergencies designed to drain you financially and emotionallyThe difference between legitimate restraining orders and those filed as a tactical weapon in divorce and custody disputesHow to fight back when your ex files a false restraining order or domestic violence complaint to gain leverageWhat parental alienation looks like, why courts are slow to address it, and what evidence you need to prove itWhy high-conflict personalities thrive in family court — and how to stop playing their gameThe critical mistakes survivors of domestic violence make when representing themselves in courtHow to find a family law attorney who actually understands high-conflict dynamics (not every lawyer does)What "winning" actually looks like in a high-conflict custody battle — and why it's not what you thinkHow Heather went from domestic abuse survivor to founding attorney — and what that journey taught her about resilience and advocacyWhy the family court system is failing survivors — and what needs to change 💡 This Episode Is For You If: Your ex is using the court to continue the abuse — filing false allegations, draining your finances with motions, or trying to take your kidsYou've been served a restraining order you didn't deserve and don't know how to fight itYou suspect parental alienation but can't prove it — and the court doesn't seem to careYou're a domestic violence survivor navigating divorce alone and terrified of losing custodyYou feel like the family court system is broken, and no one is listening to youYou need to hear from someone who has been exactly where you are — and came out the other side 🎙️ About Our Guest: Heather A. O'Connor, J.D., is the founding attorney and CEO of O'Connor Family Law, a Massachusetts family law firm with offices in Westborough and Hanover. Heather specializes in high-conflict divorce, domestic violence, parental alienation, and complex custody disputes. A certified mediator and Massachusetts Bar Association Leadership Academy graduate, she has been recognized as a Multi-Year Lawyer of Distinction. Heather's personal experience of leaving an abusive marriage with three young children and building her career from the ground up informs every case she takes. Learn more at familylawma.com 🎧 About Divorcing Strong™ Podcast: Hosted by Becky Sampson, CEO of Only Subpoenas™, the Divorcing Strong™ Podcast brings you insights from top divorce attorneys, family law experts, financial planners, and healing coaches to help you protect your rights and thrive through divorce. Whether you're navigating high-conflict divorce, co-parenting with a narcissist, or rebuilding your identity as a SurTHRIVER — you belong here. ⚖️ Disclaimer: This episode is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, or mental health advice. If you are in immediate danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. Please consult qualified professionals for guidance specific to your situation. 🏷️ Keywords: high conflict divorce, parental alienation, domestic violence divorce, restraining order divorce, family law attorney, false allegations divorce, legal abuse, custody battle, family court, abuser uses court, coercive control, divorce attorney advice, narcissist divorce, weaponized court system, divorce strategy, domestic abuse survivor, custody battle narcissist, ...