Episodes

  • The Last Alchemist, Part One

    The Last Alchemist, Part One
    Mar 24 2026
    To get to the last, we should start at the first. But since we have no idea who that might've been, we'll just start here. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​ ​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 hr and 4 mins
  • Perpetuum Mobile Redux

    Perpetuum Mobile Redux
    Mar 10 2026
    Let's try this one more time. Forever. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    51 mins
  • Jumping Jack Flash (It's a Gas Gas Gas)

    Jumping Jack Flash (It's a Gas Gas Gas)
    Feb 24 2026
    Time for some ol' fashioned mass hysteria. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • Peace Forever

    Peace Forever
    Feb 10 2026
    It's only an analogy if you want it to be. Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​ ​​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 hr and 22 mins
  • Great Lakes Pirates, Part 3: Rebels

    Great Lakes Pirates, Part 3: Rebels
    Jan 27 2026
    Of confederates and con-men. Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​ ​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    54 mins
  • Great Lakes Pirates, Part 2: Shiver Me Timbers

    Great Lakes Pirates, Part 2: Shiver Me Timbers
    Jan 13 2026
    Thar be wood. Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    41 mins
  • Great Lakes Pirates, Part 1: Pirate Bill

    Great Lakes Pirates, Part 1: Pirate Bill
    Dec 30 2025
    Arg, me mateys. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    46 mins
  • The Christmas Bullet & It's Wonderful (Redux)

    The Christmas Bullet & It's Wonderful (Redux)
    Dec 16 2025
    Two classic Constant Christmas episodes, remade in higher quality, and available ad-free for Patreon subscribers. That could be you! Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sales@advertisecast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    37 mins