In this conversation, Patton Dodd shares insights from his memoir about fatherhood (The Father You Get), exploring his relationship with his father and the impact of father figures in one's life. The conversation also explores the complexities of father figures, personal expectations, and the importance of presence in parenting. Patton discusses his own journey of becoming a dad, the emotional challenges he faced, and the significance of being fully present for children as dads.

Follow Patton's work and checkout his book:
https://pattondodd.com/

Takeaways

• We wanted to talk to people about poverty and inequality.
• We use stories to facilitate conversations.
• We've generated an audience who care about these issues.
• We're not pushing towards particular policy outcomes.
• We're trying to get people to become more aware.
• I was haunted by my dad's story.
• I felt a little bit of boldness to write.
• I didn't really know my father until I researched him.
• You don't become the way my dad was without trauma.
• Father figures aren't just mentors, you create them. I gave him a lot; I expected him to be something he was never going to be.
• Part of the answer to anxiety is just listening to the stories of other dads.
• What’s needed is not to feel like you know how to do it, but to keep showing up.
• Presence comes from deep within; you have to choose to be attentive.
• You can do a lot of dutiful stuff and be completely absent-minded about it.
• Fathers play an essential role that can't just be replaced.
• We are wired for fatherhood; it's part of our evolution.
• Little moments become the big moments in life.
• You have to actually choose to be attentive to your children.
• It's important to be all in during those moments with your kids.

In this episode of the Foster Friendly Podcast, hosts Courtney Williams and Travis Vangsnes welcome Kayla Moffitt, a dedicated mother of five and a TBRI practitioner. The conversation begins with Kayla sharing her journey from being a youth pastor to becoming a foster parent, highlighting the challenges and joys of welcoming five siblings into her home overnight. Kayla discusses the emotional complexities of parenting children from traumatic backgrounds, particularly the grief she experienced when her father passed away just as her new children were moving in. The hosts and Kayla delve into the importance of understanding trauma-informed care and the necessity of regulating one's own emotions as a parent to create a safe environment for children who have faced significant hardships.

As the discussion progresses, Kayla emphasizes the need for community support for foster families, sharing her experiences with both helpful and unhelpful forms of assistance. She stresses that love alone is not enough; foster parents must also be equipped with knowledge and resources to effectively support their children. The episode concludes with Kayla offering practical advice for future foster parents, urging them to meet children where they are emotionally and to be patient as they navigate the complexities of building trust and relationships. This heartfelt conversation is a testament to the resilience of foster families and the importance of community in the foster care journey.

Follow Kayla on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/makingthemoffitts/

Checkout our free trauma training workshop:
https://americaskidsbelong.org/lp/trauma-sensitivity-workshop-training/

Takeaways:

• Love is not enough; understanding is crucial.
• Meet children where they are emotionally.
• Community support is vital for foster families.
• Regulate yourself before attempting to regulate a child.
• Foster parents need tangible help, not just good intentions.

In this episode of the Foster Friendly Podcast, host Travis Vangsnes and co-host Courtney Williams welcome Jeanette Yoffe, a clinical psychotherapist and advocate for foster care and adoption. Jeanette shares her personal journey through foster care and adoption, emphasizing the importance of understanding grief and loss in children. She discusses the significance of open adoption, the need for connection, and the various interventions she has developed to help children cope with their experiences.

Jeanette also introduces her book, 'The Traumatized and At-Risk Youth Toolbox,' which provides practical tools for parents and caregivers. The conversation highlights the importance of mattering and connection for children in foster care, encouraging foster parents to create a safe and supportive environment for their children.

Checkout her website and all her tools and resources:
https://www.jeanetteyoffe.com/

Takeaways

• Jeanette Yoffe shares her personal journey through foster care and adoption.
• Understanding grief and loss is crucial for children in foster care.
• Open adoption allows children to maintain connections with their birth families.
• Children need to know they matter and are valued.
• Interventions like the 'sad bag' help children cope with grief.
• Foster parents should lean into the discomfort of children's feelings.
• Jeanette's book provides practical tools for parents and caregivers.
• Children often recycle questions about their past as they develop.
• It's important to separate a child's behavior from their identity.
• Creating a safe environment helps children thrive.