The Imperfects Podcast By Hugh van Cuylenburg Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg cover art

The Imperfects

The Imperfects

By: Hugh van Cuylenburg Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
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We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.2026 Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • Bri Lee - Babies+Climate=Anxiety
    Mar 22 2026

    Is climate anxiety affecting your decision to have kids?

    💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House is Bri Lee; prolific author, advocate and change maker.

    Answering the question, “what moment from your life are you grateful for that profoundly changed you?”, Bri talks about the research that lead her to the South Pole, and how she learnt to prioritise love above all else.

    Bri asks the question to Hugh, Josh and Ryan, “what does it mean to live a good life, and what do we owe each other?”

    This chat explores the philosophies of anti and pronatalism, whilst being grounded in examples from the guys’ and Bri’s life. An intentional and judgement free zone, this conversation delves into the morality of should’s and shouldn’ts, and what it means to do the right thing.

    As Bri says, hope is something that you earn through action, and we are all feeling a bit more hopeful after this episode.


    0:00 – A Bri-Lee-iant guest
    9:42 – The Seed of The Idea
    15:08 – What are you grateful for that profoundly changed you?
    27:10 – Prioritising love
    32:27 – Should I have kids?
    41:43 – The morality of shoulds and shouldn’ts
    52:43 – Some positivity, please
    55:59 – Policy and bodily autonomy
    59:22 – So, how’s the reckoning going?
    1:03:46 – The weight of responsibility
    1:08:43 – Finding action in the overwhelm

    📺 to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/vUQMkMvyeMY

    🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned on this episode

    • Ryan Shelton - To breed, or not to breed - https://bit.ly/3PbhEmR
    • Ann Davidman - Should I have kids? - https://bit.ly/4brc477

    📖 Things to read

    • Seed, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/3PhepKv
    • Eggshell Skull, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/473kvV4
    • Who Gets To Be Smart, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/4bwOAh1
    • The Work, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/4rzflar
    • Beauty, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/3NMnrPf
    • Love 2.0, by Barbara Fredrickson - https://bit.ly/40ylOYp
    • Better To Not Have Been, by David Benatar - https://bit.ly/3NmtHx5
    • IPCC Sixth Assessment Report - https://bit.ly/3Phc7Lt
    • Ipsos Perils of Perception Climate Change - https://bit.ly/4cP32mT

    📺Things to watch

    • An Inconvenient Truth - https://bit.ly/4bPolUk

    💻Things to check out

    • Freadom Inside Project - https://bit.ly/4bhVxnm
    • Peter Singer Pond Proximity thought experiment - https://youtu.be/Gu-WUHD6mKg

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    1 hr and 21 mins
  • Ben Crowe - Play School
    Mar 15 2026

    When Ben Crowe, world-renowned professional mentor and leadership coach, tells us his favourite mantra, we listen.

    “I am enough no matter what, but I’m not done yet”.

    📺 If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/-0WWUuxvcyQ

    Back in The Academy of Imperfection FOR THE THIRD TIME, Ben is here to talk to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about purpose, play and love.

    As Ben explains, ‘play’ and ‘love’ mean something different to everyone, however, they are both ridiculously important and explicitly linked. If love is the intention, then play is the action.

    Ben, as always, it was an absolute pleasure to your wisdom bestowed upon us.

    💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    0:00 – Is Ben the Pope?
    11:13 – Acceptance vs compassion, confidence vs belief
    15:14 – Reshaping your belief system
    25:05 – Just Admit It List
    30:42 – The dreaded E word
    37:47 – Reward effort, not outcome
    46:00 – Play deprivation
    51:47 – Talking to teenagers about their career
    1:01:47 – How to be a (anxious) leader
    1:07:04 – Josh’s too generous assumption
    1:10: 14 – Doing it for the right reasons

    🎧Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned in this episode

    • The Academy of Imperfection - Ben Crowe - https://bit.ly/40rkUgd
    • Ben Crowe (Pt 1) - Meet Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/46VlfeK
    • Ben Crowe (Pt 2) - Now BE Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/413kVXL
    • Kate Reid (Pt 1) - The Impossibility of Perfection - https://bit.ly/4ruVAkz
    • Kate Reid (Pt 2) - The Life-Saving Croissant - https://bit.ly/4by6NMl
    • Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - https://bit.ly/4bAomLD

    📖 Things to read

    • Where The Light Gets In, by Ben Crowe - https://bit.ly/4s04xmN
    • The Courage To Be Disliked, by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga - https://bit.ly/411Qbq4

    🎧 Things to listen to

    • How Ben Crowe Dads - https://bit.ly/4bidPDH

    😃If you liked this episode, check out these!

    • Bronnie Ware - What Are Your Future Regrets? - https://bit.ly/40lcG9p
    • Emma Murray - How Mindfulness Actually Works - https://bit.ly/4lpS5dR

    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Show more Show less
    1 hr and 23 mins
  • Matt Preston - Only 14 Summers Left
    Mar 8 2026

    According to Matt Preston, he only has 14 more summers. And he’s determined to make the most of them.

    💌Join 5,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

    Known predominantly for his role on the inaugural (and incredibly successful) seasons of MasterChef Australia, alongside his excellent choice of cravats, Matt Preston is a recognisable face in most Australian households.

    Joining Hugh, Ryan and Josh in the studio (in yet another incredible outfit), Matt delicately talks through the importance of having a conversation with your parents about end-of-life care.

    In a decision that requires both deep emotion and administrative focus, Matt draws from his experience with his grandmother, and then his mother, about how to ensure the people you love are nurtured, cared for, and celebrated in the way they would have wanted.

    Matt, thank you so much for joining us.

    0:00 – The typo to end all typos
    9:13 – Every family has a scandal
    24:34 – The unknowables of epilepsy
    30:45 – Grieving what could have been
    40:44 – Mission of mortality: make it count
    44:47 – Parenting not like your parents
    53:40 – Conversations about end-of-life care
    1:07:35 – The secret ingredient to marriage
    1:13:46 – Logistics of death and dying

    If you want to watch the full episode (and see Matt’s outfit), follow this link - https://youtu.be/sEN8Mfapi6Y

    🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned in this episode

    • Kate Reid (Pt 1) - The Impossibility of Perfection - https://bit.ly/476XBfg
    • Kate Reid (Pt 2) - The Life-Saving Croissant - https://bit.ly/4aM7bqd
    • Christie Whelan Browne - Unbreakable - https://bit.ly/4ukPhTk

    📺Things to watch

    • The Hospital - In The Deep End - https://bit.ly/4rYN6mw
    • Croquenbouche Masterchef Episode - https://bit.ly/3OILYVG

    📖Things to read

    • Big Mouth, by Matt Preston - https://bit.ly/4cUigXG

    🩵SUDEP Support Services

    • SUDEP Action - https://sudep.org
    • Epilepsy Foundation - https://bit.ly/4r9W27I

    *The average life expectancy for Australian males is calculated at birth, and does not take into account their personal circumstances.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    1 hr and 26 mins
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