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The Problem With...

The Problem With...

By: James Smith
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The Problem With… isn’t here to give easy answers - it’s here to ask the uncomfortable questions behind today’s biggest trends and taboos. Each week, host James Smith digs into what’s really going on - from AI to wellness culture - through unfiltered chats with experts and insiders to uncover the truth behind the noise.720232 Social Sciences
Episodes
  • The Problem With Self Sabotage: Connor Beaton (ManTalks)

    The Problem With Self Sabotage: Connor Beaton (ManTalks)
    Mar 24 2026
    👁️ Try Neutonic: https://www.neutonic.com/jamessmith 🧪 Check your Test: https://www.manual.co/smith 📝 Business Mentoring: https://www.jamessmith.business 🏋🏼‍♂️ Online Coaching: https://www.jamessmithacademy.com Connor Beaton joins James Smith to reveal the uncomfortable truth about self-sabotage. Far from being a simple lack of discipline, self-sabotage is a sophisticated survival strategy your brain uses to maintain control. Beaton explains why your psyche would rather choose a familiar disaster over an unfamiliar victory, keeping you locked in a cycle of destructive behavior to protect a fragile sense of identity. They dismantle the myth that dark motivation is a sustainable fuel for success and expose the biological cost of running on shame. From adoption trauma and attachment theory to the high-stakes world of elite performance, this conversation uncovers the invisible weights that stop men from being present in their own lives. He explains: ◼️ Why your brain actively avoids healthy new habits ◼️ How shame-based fuel creates a performance ceiling ◼️ What happens when achievement replaces human connection ◼️ Why mastery and addiction share the same neurology ◼️ How radical transparency prevents relationship resentment Chapters: 00:00 The Psychology of Working With Men 03:37 The Real Problem With Self-Sabotage 04:11 Sabotage as a Protective Strategy 05:37 James’ Experience With Wild Weekends 07:15 Reinforcing Your Negative Identity 08:06 Carl Jung and The Shadow 09:11 Why Your Brain Prefers Familiarity 11:16 The John Jones Sabotage Pattern 12:46 Relational Trauma and Attachment Issues 13:45 Breaking Your Nervous System Set Point 16:02 George St-Pierre on Real Courage 17:51 James' Battle With Cognitive Dissonance 19:52 The Truth About Cocaine Habits 23:00 High Performers and The Control Trap 24:18 Dark Motivation: Using Shame as Fuel 26:42 Why Success Often Feels Empty 27:23 James’ Story of Adoption and Spite 30:35 Shifting From Spite to Family 32:48 Dating Volume and Almond Croissants 35:43 Healing Trauma Through Your Children 43:43 Rebuilding Trust and True Intimacy 47:14 Addiction as an Attachment Issue 49:33 Mastery vs The Addictive Tendency 53:07 Learning to Let Go of Control 57:17 The Dangers of Mental Masturbation 59:12 Diminished Versions of Yourself 01:02:14 Learning to Choose Your Regrets 01:04:02 The Psychological Fear of Retirement 01:08:40 The Cost of Professional Relevancy 01:12:19 Communicating Trade-offs in Relationships 01:15:51 Modern Dating’s Silent Plague 01:17:46 Re-infusing Choice into Relationships 01:21:53 Navigating the Psychological Map Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    1 hr and 29 mins
  • The Problem With Comfort: Anthony (Staz) Stazicker CGC

    The Problem With Comfort: Anthony (Staz) Stazicker CGC
    Mar 17 2026
    👁️ Try Neutonic: https://www.neutonic.com/jamessmith 🧪 Check your Test: https://www.manual.co/smith 📝 Business Mentoring: https://www.jamessmith.business 🏋🏼‍♂️ Online Coaching: https://www.jamessmithacademy.com Follow Staz on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stazthrudark/ Check out Thrudark: https://www.thrudark.com/ Check out Thrudark on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ThruDark Anthony "Staz" Stasziker, a former special forces officer, shares essential life advice on the importance of hard work, discipline, and the problem with living a comfortable life. Staz highlights that true success, much like military training in special ops, is not easily achieved but requires dedication. It's about putting in the effort, not just romanticizing the idea. Chapters 00:00 - Why Comfort Is Making Us Weak 01:33 - The Friction We Desperately Need 06:34 - How Jiu-Jitsu Changed Everything 08:12 - Leaving Special Forces With Nothing 12:14 - The Hidden Force Controlling Your Life 19:28 - Are We Raising a Generation of Losers? 25:02 - From Failed Footballer to Elite Sniper 31:34 - What They Don't Tell You About Special Forces 41:53 - The Future of War Is Terrifying 51:59 - The Real Reason Men Are Falling Apart 56:04 - The Trauma Nobody Talks About 01:00:57 - The Drug Curing PTSD Overnight 01:06:34 - Why He Climbed Everest in 7 Days 01:22:19 - Buried Alive on the World's Highest Mountain 01:43:38 - What He Learned at 29,000 Feet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    1 hr and 54 mins
  • The Problem With Perfectionism: Jonny Wilkinson

    The Problem With Perfectionism: Jonny Wilkinson
    Mar 10 2026
    👁️ Try Neutonic: https://www.neutonic.com/jamessmith 🧪 Check your Test: https://www.manual.co/smith 📝 Business Mentoring: https://www.jamessmith.business 🏋🏼‍♂️ Online Coaching: https://www.jamessmithacademy.com Johnny Wilkinson on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jonnywilkinsonofficial/ Rugby legend Johnny Wilkinson joins James Smith to reveal the uncomfortable truth about the problem with perfectionism, why the pursuit of "perfect" is a quiet crisis that creates a dangerous lie of future salvation while destroying your current reality. Wilkinson explains how living in a constant state of survival and impending doom reshapes our biology and threatens the very essence of human potential. They discuss the myths around "mastery" being a finished destination, the toxic nature of avoiding failure, and the real reasons behind the mental time bomb that elite performance often hides. From the pressures of a World Cup final to the quiet struggle of starting a business, this episode explores how the need for control can break down the whole system of human performance. We Cover: ⬛ Why Perfectionism is a Survival State not a Success Strategy ⬛ How the Myth of "Making It" Destroys Human Curiosity ⬛ Why Mastery Requires Self-Awareness over Mechanical Replication ⬛ How to Harness Pressure as Energy instead of Enduring it as Truth ⬛ What Happens when You Stop Chasing Outcomes and Start Healing the Gut Chapters: 00:00 Intro: Harder Than a World Cup Penalty 00:32 Who Is Johnny Wilkinson? 01:19 What Is the Problem With Perfectionism? 03:01 Nobody's Perfect: Is the Journey the Point? 05:34 Regression to the Mean & the Pressure of Kicking 07:07 Martin Johnson, Teammates & Carrying the Weight 09:46 Pressure Is Just a Thought — Reframing It Entirely 12:29 The Bell Curve of Arousal in Sport 14:15 Growing Up in Survival Mode 16:43 Opening the Door to Yourself 19:14 Identity, Expectations & Tipping Over 20:40 Missing a Kick in Front of the England Camp 23:39 From Running Away to Owning the Space 25:51 One Living — Born From a Changing Room in Toulon 27:02 Why Johnny Started a Health Brand 31:37 When Your Body Can't Keep Up With Your Mind 34:48 One Living: The Rebrand Story 38:31 Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset in Business 40:45 Listening to Your Body Like You Listen to a Kick 43:30 Stress, Food Choices & What You Actually Want 49:06 What One Living Really Stands For 53:13 Opening Doors: The Philosophy Behind the Brand 57:44 The Virtue of Suffering — Is Misery Masculine? 59:16 Thoughts as Truths & the Stray Cat Problem 1:03:46 The Mind Gym: Switching Energy States 1:07:03 Cold Water, Nature & Resetting Your Energy 1:08:59 The One Living Shots Explained 1:11:39 Stop, Breathe, Drink: A Philosophy for Life 1:14:13 Closing Thoughts & Where to Find One Living Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    1 hr and 15 mins
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