For years, this has been the number one question she’s been asked: Why did you take the hijab off? In this deeply personal solo episode, Salma finally shares the full story, five years later.

This wasn’t one decision made in one moment. It was a long, painful, complicated unraveling shaped by heartbreak, therapy, faith, isolation, family pressure, and the slow realization that her relationship to the hijab was tied to much more than modesty. Salma reflects on growing up loving the hijab, the comfort and identity it gave her, and what began to surface when she started questioning religion, power, hypocrisy, and her own autonomy.

She opens up about the first time she ever went out without it, the fear she carried around her father, the grief of disappointing her family, and the devastation that followed choosing herself. She also speaks to the beauty that still exists in her relationship to Islam, and why this story is not about rejecting her faith, but about being honest about what this journey has actually cost her.

One of Salma’s most intimate episodes yet, this is a conversation about faith, identity, family, and the courage it takes to choose yourself - even when it changes everything.

This episode is for the Muslim girls. I love you.

HELP KEEP THE POD ALIVE FOR 2026, DONATE TO OUR GOFUNDME: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:
Host & Creator: Salma Hindy
Executive Producer: Salma Hindy
Associate Producer: Rania Harris
Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha
Writer: Salma Hindy
Editor: Luke Davis
Studio: 30 Irving Studios
Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

Vaginismus is curable. And it’s not something that should take years.

In this episode, Salma sits down with pelvic floor physiotherapist and “Vagina Rehab Doctor” Janelle Howell to unpack the truth about sexual pain, healing, and what it actually takes to feel safe and connected in your body. What starts as a conversation about vaginismus quickly opens into something much bigger: shame, religion, pleasure, power, and the way so many women have been taught to disconnect from themselves.

Salma shares her full journey: from experiencing searing pain during her first sexual encounter, to navigating dilators, hookups, injury, and slowly finding her way to pleasure and confidence. Janelle breaks down why vaginismus is both physical and psychological, why so many treatments fall short, and how women can heal faster when they’re actually taught how to understand and trust their bodies.

She shares that most of the women she works with are married. Many of them struggle in silence for years, unable to consummate their relationships. And yes, healing is possible for everyone: one woman was finally able to have sex after 16 years of marriage…in cowgirl!

Janelle’s 5-step approach to healing includes: acknowledging fear and pain patterns, understanding and releasing the pelvic floor, guided dilation and tissue work, rebuilding confidence, and safely transitioning to penetration with a partner.

This episode is for the Muslim girlies everywhere navigating vaginismus in silence - carrying shame, confusion, and pressure without the language or support to understand what’s happening in your body. You are not alone in this. There is nothing wrong with you. In the words of Dr. Janelle, “your body is not broken, it’s bougie.” Healing is possible for you, so long as you have an obnoxious amount of hope.

Donate to our GoFundMe to keep the pod afloat for 2026: https://gofund.me/f646f3082

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy

Executive Producer: Salma Hindy

Associate Producer: Rania Harris

Videographer & Sound Engineer: Patrick Samaha

Writer: Salma Hindy

Editor: Salma Hindy

Studio: 30 Irving Studios

Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy

In this deeply personal solo episode, Salma reflects on the two heartbreaks that changed her life (one romantic, one a friendship) and the painful realization that she was the one who ended them.

Two years ago, after losing her family, moving 19 times, living in survival mode, and spiraling through manic travel, chaos, and sexual hunger, Salma met two people who were sweet, sensitive, and safe. And when things started to feel intimate…she panicked.

For the first time, she explores her avoidant attachment - not the anxious narrative she used to blame men for, but the part of her that burns things down when they get too good. She opens up about how she pushed away Joaquin (the only man in America she’s slept with), how she sabotaged her friendship with Didi, and how her nervous system (dysregulated, grieving, and terrified of real intimacy) made her mistake sweetness for danger.

This episode includes excerpts from letters exchanged between Salma and her therapist as they closed two years of therapy together. It’s raw. It’s recent. And it’s the most honest she’s been about her patterns.

She talks about:

• Growing up in dysfunction and confusing chaos for connection
• Why her avoidance shows up when things are going well, NOT during conflict
• Trauma bonding vs. true intimacy
• Sexual imprinting, jealousy, and nervous system dysregulation
• Celibacy after heartbreak and assault
• Learning to “stay” instead of explode
• The difference between chasing unavailable men and allowing real love to bloom
• Being the first woman in her bloodline to choose a life not structured around marriage

Now, Salma is in uncharted territory: practicing slowness, living in her present reality in New York, and allowing a new connection to unfold without control, sabotage, or fantasy.

This episode is a love letter to Joaquin & Didi.
I’m sorry I lost you.

Recorded February 16, the last day of The Year of the Snake.

CREDITS:

Host & Creator: Salma Hindy

Executive Producer: Salma Hindy

Associate Producer: Rania Harris

Writer & Editor: Salma Hindy

Studio: 30 Irving Studios

Artwork: Rana Omar

© The Secret Sex Lives of Muslim Women, 2026

Instagram: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

YouTube: @thesecretsexlivesofmuslimwomen

HOST'S INSTAGRAM: @salma.hindy

HOST'S TIKTOK: @salma.hindy