This week on the pod, Producer Tyler’s clubhouse has been shut down by an internet malfunction. Amy takes her mom, Marsh, shopping for “coverup” and a new skin care routine. Shopping with Marsh is hilarious. Marsh wants to know Producer Tyler’s hobbies and what Maya’s favorite sub sandwiches are, apropos of nothing. The ladies discuss Afro Man’s First Amendment triumph. This first amendment trial is everything. You can’t make this stuff up. Watch the clips…you won’t be sorry. That’s the best tour of jury duty ever! Justin Timberlake’s DWI video comes out. Spoiler Alert: it’s so cringe. The Bachelorette is canned. Maya doesn’t think anyone needs to see the musical Chicago anymore. Maya thinks it’s weird that Sean Duffy was on The Real World and now he’s the Transportation Secretary of the United States. Maya feels bad for TSA. Amy doesn’t understand why they have to go to work and are not getting paid. Maya wonders why Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild isn’t in jail. Amy informs her that he WAS in jail. Prince Andrew’s perp photo looks like you shone a flashlight on a possum at night. Prince Andrew’s Go-to Innocent Look is Terrified Night Possum. Maya makes Amy listen to a nuts song, “Things Get a Little Easier”. The ladies top it off with an Oscars recap. Sinners wins big!!!! Michael B. Jordan is a class act. We don’t deserve him.

There’s a blizzard on SOSS Street, and the local news Weather Boners are on high alert. Amy wants Maya and her to get colonoscopies together and record it. Maya thinks that might be against the rules, but would love to watch Amy try to talk a doctor into this scheme. The ladies make their Oscar predictions. The red carpet coverage needs help. Maya is excited for Sinners, and Amy is disappointed in Timothée Chalamet. Ethan Hawke, we love you, but you can’t make us watch Blue Moon. Amy just put her home theater together! Maya has issues with Song Sung Blue. One thought about directors: If you like PTA, you like PTA, and we like PTA. Sentimental Value keeps coming up over and over. You can’t make us watch that one either! Amy likes Guillermo Del Toro and hopes he’s not a pervert. Amy figures out who Stellan Skarsgård is. There are so many Skarsgårds. Approved/Denied: What were you like in the 90s? Goo Goo Dolls Iris social media trend.

Maya gets a new jacket, and it’s everything. Gen X never thought we’d have to go through all this shit. Enough with the unprecedented times. We thought life was going to be war and disaster-free. Maybe because we lived through the Cold War, which desensitized the shit out of us. Also, living in Minneapolis has been a real ride. Is Maya Padma Lakshmi’s biggest fan? Amy thinks so. Maya reviews Padma’s new show, America’s Culinary Cup. Maya’s dog Buddy is still kicking at 16 years old. There is a new Italian Restaurant in Maya’s neighborhood. The ladies declare hate for fettuccini alfredo, and big love for the city of Robbinsdale. RIP Brookdale Mall. Maya misses a good food court. What happened to all the food courts? In another segment of Turnt Things In My Neighborhood, Amy tries to get her ears "cluster" pierced. Tennis Report: Amy tries drills at Public Indoor Tennis, aka PIT. Amy goes to “The Price is Right” at a casino. Amy’s mom, Marsh, won’t take her vitamins. Don’t even think of trying to get her to go to physical therapy. Maya proclaims her love for Entenmann's grocery doughnuts. Flavor Flav is a champion for women! Amy is excited about Project Hail Mary. Maya reviews Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere. Maya remembers the time her mom peeled out of Thanksgiving.

This week, the Ep kicks off with Amy’s remorse for bullying the Quad God. Then bullies him again! The ladies totally love Alysa Liu and her flawless, badass, joyful attitude. This lady pierced her own frenulum! This gal is 100% joy! She’s so herself! Amy has a family story about the song MacArthur Park (Someone Left the Cake Out in the Rain). Amy can’t with the Olympic skating gala. Maya loves the unsung, on-ice camera operator in a white suit. Amy solves the Delta in-flight Olympic video mystery. Amy just can’t with the skater Amber Glenn. These kids would have never survived our childhood bullies, which included our teachers. The ladies reminisce about the hard, rough, brown multi-purpose paper towel that served as everything from a tourniquet to a popcorn bowl. Maya pays tribute to her elementary school classmate Steve Kelfkin. Animal Report: Wolf-dog Nazgul joins the cross-country ski race! Also, Punch the Monkey. Maya reviews the new Chi Chi’s restaurant. So many peeps from our formative TV years are dying. Dawson! McSteamy! Luke Perry & Shannen Doherty! Don’t get it twisted, we’re all team Pacey. Amy goes to a “turnt” theater in her neighborhood. Don’t even get her started on the sauna in her new neighborhood. Amy reviews Wuthering Heights. Amy feels like she was promised horny, horny, sex, sex, sex! It was not that. Justice for Tim Gunn! They didn’t invite him back to Project Runway. Excuse me, what? Also, ICE is still here doing sneaky stuff. Amy calls her mom Marsh and hashes out what really happened with the toy mixer and human waste. Also, Marsh has some very specific, important thoughts about “sassing”. We love you Marsh.

The ladies kick off the ep. with Amy reminiscing about when her dad yelled, “God d*mnit you’re going to kill us all!”

Maya & Amy try to manifest a Kratom sponsor. Amy is back from skiing in Lake Tahoe. Maya asks the question, “Is it fun to ski in a blizzard?” and “What’s a powder apron?” Hot tip: stay on the green runs, kids. Amy reviews the outfit ChatGPT chose for her. Spoiler alert: She had to buy a new sick jacket on her trip. The ladies get deep into the Olympics. Let’s face it, some of these events are boring. Maya thinks there are too many people falling down. Amy wants to add “normies” to the Olympics. Amy doesn’t think curling is a sport. Maya spills the tea on the ski jumping crotch controversy. The gals recap the Quad God’s disastrous men’s skating final and the little buddy from Kazakhstan who had the best day of his life. We love this little buddy from Kazakhstan! Are they just showing Skeleton in slow motion just to see the butt jiggles? Amy confesses she doesn’t have a real ID, and her passport is expiring. P.S. ICE is still in Minneapolis, and we’ll believe they’re leaving when we see it. Don’t get it twisted, no one is more ready for an emergency than Amy. She will CPR you right on your mouth.

This week is an embarrassment of riches! The ‘Lympics (Amy’s pronunciation) and “The Big Game” overlap this week, and the ladies are here for it. They are all over the athletes’ fashion and swag, including Haiti’s opening ceremony outfits, the USA ladies’ eagle “blanket skirt”. Snoop is in the mix with his signature coverage of the games. Maya is obsessed with speed skater Erin Jackson. J.D. Vance gets booed. The Tongan greased-up guy is back, but unfortunately, he’s dry and wearing a shirt. We’re cheering for Korey and Cory, the curlers from Duluth! Amy thought the Quad God would have bigger quads. Lindsey Vonn crashes. ChatGPT helps Amy find a skiing outfit. Maya wants to watch The Cutting Edge again. IYKYK. Toe pick! Maya and Amy reminisce about 80s movies where an athletic underdog triumphs over poverty and local jerks. Amy gives a football update leading up to The Big Game. Maya mistakes fireworks from the Plymouth Fire & Ice Festival for combat noise. Maya and Amy imagine what kind of trouble they’ll get into when they are 80 and live together.

This week, explain if we didn’t laugh we’d be sobbing all the time. New segment: What did the government do to radicalize you or activate the resistance this week? Coming to you straight from Minneapolis. Amy’s arch nemesis Bovino got fired by the administration in shame from his job depriving people of their constitutional rights. Tom Morello of Rage Against The Machine fame came to town to give a protest concert at First Avenue with secret special guest The Boss, Bruce Springsteen. Amy and Maya didn’t get tickets. Maya explains the bizarre dual worlds they are living in. The Boss wrote a song for Minneapolis celebrating the resistance. P.S. Minneapolis is an impossible word to rhyme and that’s why you don’t hear a lot of songs about this town. Maya drives through an ICE operation, looses hope, then gets a great message from a friend. Local journalist Georgia Fort and national newsmaker Don Lemon are arrested for journalism. First amendment much? Maya has fond middle school memories of Habeas Corpus. Can we just go back to being fly-over country. Our favorite resistance song this week is about how someone in the administration is a “Bird-legged Ho”. Apparently, kids don’t drink out of the hose anymore. Maya reviews The Wrecking Crew starring friendly hunks Dave Bautista and Jason Momoa. Maya reviews Predator: Badlands. Amy explains a very specific Bad Bunny dance.

Amy and Maya talk about what’s really happening in Minneapolis and why they think the revolution started here. They recount the long laundry list of trauma, human rights violations, and the callous, murderous ICE occupation of one of the greatest cities on earth. They try to piece together the timeline in detail. Whatever you think is happening here, it’s worse than you can imagine. Their nervous systems are maxed with fear and unending hyper-vigilance. Maya is just trying not to get snatched off the street. They dissect the dissonance between trying to keep moving through life, trying to do their jobs, and keep on keepin on while a dystopian nightmare unfolds around them. Check on your friends and family in Minneapolis and if you want to help, call your Senators and Congresspeople and/or go to StandWithMinnesota.com. You can also donate to the Immigrant Law Center at ilcm.org.