“Meet me at the gate, Nate.”

In this first half of our conversation, Leah Sweetman shares the story of her son Nathan—a bright, imaginative, strong-willed young man who brought both great joy and deep challenges to their family. As Leah introduces us to Nathan, we begin to understand not only who he was, but the complexity of the road he walked.

From an early age, Nathan struggled with behavioral and mental health challenges that eventually led to addiction. Leah speaks candidly about the impact this had on their family—the fear, the chaos, the exhaustion, and the deep love that never wavered.

This episode also explores what it means to surrender when your child is struggling and you cannot fix it. Leah shares how God met her in those moments of desperation and began teaching her what true surrender looks like—not giving up, but placing her son into God’s hands.

You’ll also hear the story behind the phrase Leah now carries with her: “Meet me at the gate, Nate.” A simple expression that holds both grief and the steady hope of reunion.

This is an honest and powerful beginning to a story that many will recognize in pieces of their own.

If this episode resonates with you, please consider sharing it with another grieving parent. And if you haven’t already, leaving a rating or review helps others find hope in the midst of loss.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

In this episode of the While We’re Waiting – Hope After Child Loss podcast, I continue my conversation with Kirsten Black, author of the Faithful Paradox blog.

In Part One, Kirsten shared about her son Ezra, his battle with leukemia, and the early realities of grief that reshaped her life and faith. Today, we pick up where we left off, continuing our discussion of her blog post, “10 Things That Are Different From What I Expected.” Listen HERE to Part One of our conversation.

Today Kirsten offers honest insight into some of the more complex and often unexpected aspects of grief—especially within the context of family, faith, and daily life.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How family members often grieve differently—and how to extend grace in those differences
• Why healing can bring its own kind of sorrow
• The difference between joy and happiness in the midst of grief
• The quiet, ongoing reminders of loss in everyday life
• Why faith does not necessarily make grief feel easier
• The desire to be “unknown”—and why that doesn’t remove the pain
• Learning to live without clear answers or understanding
• The reality that hard days still come, even years later

Kirsten also shares reflections from her third year of grief, including a deepened longing for heaven, a shift in how she views grief—not as something to overcome, but something to gently carry—and the reminder that truth does not always bring immediate comfort, but it is still worth holding onto.

Toward the end of the episode, Kirsten offers thoughtful encouragement for parents who are in the early days of grief, reminding them that this journey is a marathon, not a sprint, and that they do not have to walk it alone.

This conversation is both honest and hopeful—a reminder that while grief changes us, God remains faithful, even in the tension we don’t fully understand.

Links & Resources

Visit Kirsten's blog here: Faithful Paradox Blog

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org

In this episode of the While We’re Waiting – Hope After Child Loss podcast, Jill Sullivan begins a two-part conversation with Kirsten Black, author of the Faithful Paradox blog.

Kirsten shares about her son Ezra, a gifted musician and passionate soccer player who had a remarkable ability to make people feel seen and loved. In 2021, Ezra became sick and was eventually diagnosed with leukemia. After a difficult fourteen-month battle that included intense chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant, Ezra went to heaven in September of 2022.

About a year and a half later, Kirsten began writing about her grief journey through her blog, Faithful Paradox. In it, she explores the tension many grieving believers experience—the reality that we know God’s promises are true, yet in the middle of suffering those truths can feel confusing, distant, or difficult to reconcile with our pain.

In this first half of our conversation, Kirsten shares about Ezra’s life, his cancer journey, and the honest prayers she wrestled through during those months. We also begin discussing a blog post she wrote titled “10 Things That Are Different From What I Expected,” reflecting on the surprising ways grief reshapes our lives.

Together we explore some of those unexpected realities, including:

• The mistaken belief that grief has a timeline
• How the loss of a child fundamentally changes who we are
• The realization that grief is not just an event—it becomes part of us

Kirsten’s reflections are thoughtful, honest, and deeply relatable for grieving parents who are trying to hold on to faith in the middle of profound loss.

This conversation reminds us that grief and faith often exist together in tension—a faithful paradox.

In the next episode, we’ll continue walking through the rest of Kirsten’s “ten things” and talk about what she has learned in the years since Ezra went to heaven.

Links & Resources

Faithful Paradox Blog: faithfulparadox.com

I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)

** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.

We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting!

Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parents

Click HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country.

Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel

Click HERE to follow our public Facebook page

Click HERE to follow us on Instagram

Click HERE to follow us on Twitter

Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministry

Contact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org