Why Having A Child Has Ruined Your Relationship

Okay, maybe not everyone's relationship with their loved one is in the pan after having a child, but anecdotally and statistically, many parents find themselves facing relationship challenges with a little one in the mix.

Leila and Kim are no exceptions, and we share a very cathartic chat about how and why our marriages have changed, and what we can do about it.

In this episode:

• We set the scene by describing our relationship foundations before having kids
• We compare notes on how our relationships have changed since having kids
• We take a look at the statistics of relationship degeneration after having children, including results from the Science Baby Parenting Survey
• We examine the reasons behind the changes, including a loss of protective relationship behaviours, an unequal division of the mental load, and the snowballing effect of maternal gatekeeping
• We describe how our loss of personal identities contributes to our dissatisfaction at this stage of life
• We discuss a study that suggests that marital unhappiness could just be a product of western society
• Finally, we talk about some of the tools and techniques for dealing with relationship issues.

I'm a big fan of Philippa Perry's book "The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad You Did)", which you can buy here.