Susan Renee

Good looks and wads of cash usually get me whatever I desire, unless I desire a box of my favorite cereal at the grocery store right before it closes. As if tonight's loss wasn't bad enough, I'm now watching said box of cereal, my literal good luck charm, disappear in some woman's cart....

Has this ever happened to you? You're minding your own business after the game, buying drinks at the bar for your teammates when you overhear a woman talking on the phone. You don't know her, but she's telling her mother she's in a serious relationship with you.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes— Whoa, whoa, whoa! Look, I don't know who made up that stupid saying but I am not in love with Ella Montgomery.

As a pro hockey player, I've had desperate, flirty women throw themselves at me, one after another, for years. Today, it took only seconds for someone to walk into my home and have me completely forget about any other woman I've ever met.

I'm screwed. Because when one of the first warnings you get after joining the Chicago Red Tails hockey team is to never even think about touching Dex Foster's sister, you abide by your teammate's wishes. And for the love of hockey, you Do. Not. Sleep. With. Her. See where I'm going with this?

I was the first one on the team to get married. I was the first one of us to have a kid. I was also the first one of us whose marriage went up in flames, making me the team's first single dad.

I knocked up my sister's co-worker. And I didn't even know her name. I know. This sounds really bad, but listen, I can explain. To hockey fans, I'm known for my strength and skills on the ice. To women, I'm known for my talent and endurance in the bedroom.

I fell in love with a woman on her honeymoon. Sounds all sorts of wrong, right? I swear it's not what you think though. I didn't break up a marriage. It was over before it even started.

Working retail can be a mundane life filled with angry, crazy customers and never-ending whining from employees, but two things keep me coming back every day....

She is Tenley Shay, the voice behind TJ ON PAR, a podcast for Practical Adult Relationships, who spends her days touting her disapproval of love and the practicality of remaining a single-bell for life....