Grief Is Love

Living with Loss

By: Marisa Renee Lee

Narrated by: Marisa Renee Lee

A trusted grief expert shares advice on how to navigate the loss of a loved one in this incisive and compassionate guide: “calm, lucid prose… humanizing exploration of coping with the life-changing tides of loss” (Kirkus Reviews).

In Grief is Love, author Marisa Renee Lee reveals that healing does not mean moving on after losing a loved one—healing means learning to acknowledge and create space for your grief. It is about learning to love the one you lost with the same depth, passion, joy, and commitment you did when they were alive, perhaps even more. She guides you through the pain of grief—whether you’ve lost the person recently or long ago—and shows you what it looks like to honor your loss on your unique terms, and debunks the idea of a grief stages or timelines. Grief is Love is about making space for the transformation that a significant loss requires.

In beautiful, compassionate prose, Lee elegantly offers wisdom about what it means to authentically and defiantly claim space for grief’s complicated feelings and emotions. And Lee is no stranger to grief herself, she shares her journey after losing her mother, a pregnancy, and, most recently, a cousin to the COVID-19 pandemic. These losses transformed her life and led her to question what grief really is and what healing actually looks like. In this book, she also explores the unique impact of grief on Black people and reveals the key factors that proper healing requires: permission, care, feeling, grace and more.

The transformation we each undergo after loss is the indelible imprint of the people we love on our lives, which is the true definition of legacy. At its core, Grief is Love explores what comes after death, and shows us that if we are able to own and honor what we’ve lost, we can experience a beautiful and joyful life in the midst of grief.

Critic reviews

“Marisa Renee Lee is the friend we all wish we had in times of need: compassionate, smart, understanding, and endlessly wise. Grief is Love is the closest many of us will get to understanding eternal love for another.”—Elaine Welteroth, cohost of The Talk and New York Times bestselling author of More Than Enough

"Grief Is Love is what the world needs. Marisa’s vulnerability humanizes pain, longing, and loss. Saying this book should be required reading is an understatement."—Alexandra Elle, author of After the Rain

“Authentic, all-inclusive, and utterly breathtaking, Grief is Love is the book that will help you deal with your darkest days and walks with you as you venture back into the light.”—Willie Geist, cohost of The Today Show and New York Times bestselling author of Good Talk, Dad

"In Grief Is Love, Marisa Renee Lee has transformed her own profound losses into a powerful meditation on what grief is at its core: an extension of love. She invites us to reframe grief as an everlasting tribute, not as a burden, and her insights about healing will be a gift to countless readers. Losing a loved one is life-changing; this book will be life-changing for readers, too."
—Maggie Smith, National bestselling author of Keep Moving

“This is a beautiful memoir about the love that lasts after loss. With powerful prose and refreshing candor, Marisa Renee Lee challenges the cultural stigma around grief and highlights a healthier way to cope. If you’re struggling with loss, reading this book might just be a jolt of hope.”
—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and Option B

“This book, like its author, radiates empathy, rejects platitudes, and uplifts even while interrogating life's darkest crevices. In examining her own experiences with life-changing loss, Marisa helps us recognize the gift of love in grief, and offers a guide for how to show up for those we love in the moments that matter most. Marisa knows grief, but she also knows deep joy, and she has laced both into every page of this exquisite book."
—Alicia Menendez, MSNBC Anchor and author of The Likeability Trap

“Grief Is Love is a remarkable homage about what it’s like to love through loss. This gem of a book is like taking an exhale, or being hugged, or being told that everything is going to be alright and actually believing it. As I continue to navigate the loss of my father, which happened when I was a small child, I am reminded, with the help of this book, that grief doesn’t have an expiration date. Every human should own this marvel of a book. I treasured every page and I am indebted to it.”
—Jennifer Pastiloff national bestselling author of On Being Human

Excellent book

This is an excellent book on grief. Although based on the author’s grief story from the loss of her mother as a young adult and the loss of an unborn child, she provides her personal journey of grief, what not to do and how to grieve in a constructive and meaningful way. There are several parts of the book where she addresses how her grief was complicated based on the historical aspects of racism and being a black woman going through grief. Although I am a middle-aged white woman, I found the information to be heartfelt and meaningful and didn’t feel it took away from the messages she was trying to write about.

Grief is a Journey

I began listening to the audio version of Grief is Love one morning, at 4:00 AM three months after my mother passed. I listened to the entire book in one sitting. It was written with so much understanding of what we go through when we’ve lost a loved one. It is absolutely what I needed at this point in my grief. I have an understanding that it’s OK to grieve my mother for the rest of my life. Very well written Marissa thank you so much for sharing your story and experiences with grief along the way.

Essential reading for loss of a loved one

This book truly helped me process some of the complex emotions I experienced following the sudden and tragic death of my father. The author was raw with what she experienced and really helped me understand that everything that I’m feeling is okay and to be expected. She also equips the reader with ways to honor the continued love we will have with our lost loved one- it really helps with healing. Thank you for this book.

Incredibly helpful.

I lost my mom to a fast and furious battle with lung cancer. She never smoked, and in my opinion, did everything “right”. I am a business woman and a mother of four. This book has helped me give myself permission to lean into my grief and to take care of myself.

Loved me some chapter 10

This really helped me thanks. Had to blackmail. Somethings did not apply to me but everything pretty much did. I can certainly relate after losing a mother less than a year ago I finally understand.