He/She/They

How We Talk About Gender and Why It Matters

By: Schuyler Bailar

Narrated by: Schuyler Bailar

A NATIONAL BESTSELLER

From a trans rights activist and athlete, an urgent book that changes the conversation about gender identity.

"I wish I had this book to guide my own journey years ago, but I am so glad it exists now. We need it!" —Dylan Mulvaney, actress and TikTok personality

Anti-transgender legislation is being introduced in state governments around the United States in record-breaking numbers. Trans people are under attack in sports, healthcare, school curriculum, bathrooms, bars, and nearly every walk of life. He/She/They compassionately addresses fundamental topics, from why being transgender is not a choice and why pronouns are important, to more complex issues including how gender-affirming healthcare can be lifesaving.

With a relatable narrative rooted in science, and history, Schuyler helps restore common sense and humanity to a discussion that continues to be divisively coopted and deceptively politicized. He/She/They is more than a book on allyship; it also speaks to trans folks directly, celebrating radical trans joy.

"Courageous and heartwarming ... A must-read for anyone seeking understanding, compassion, and hope on the path to self-discovery." —Jazz Jennings, activist, author

Winner, 2023 Porchlight Business Book Awards
Longlisted, 2024 Carnegie Medals for Excellence in Nonfiction
Forbes 30 Under 30

Educational and vulnerable

Both educational and vulnerable. Of all the books I’ve read I recommend this is a first read for anyone looking to answer questions they have about gender.

Phenomenal book!

This is a wonderful book! I just finished listening to it, and also purchased a book to highlight several parts where the wording, ideas and stories touched my heart. Thank you thank you thank you for putting your heart into this amazing resource for allies, parents and the world. 🏳️‍⚧️

A wonderful listen for anyone!

I just finished listening to this book. It was wonderful to hear Schuyler's perspective on the trans experience, discovering he is transgender, coming out to family and friends, and how he learned to navigate the world and advocate both for himself and for other transgender people. I also deeply appreciated Schuyler's well researched and articulated understanding of how the trans experience varies from person to person and how understanding of the trans experience has shifted across time. This book is overall very rounded and I think a really excellent introduction for anyone. I ended up buying a copy of the audiobook for each of my immediate family members.

Truly Outstanding

Schuyler is unbelievably insightful and thoughtful, and I found his way of explaining each topic so inclusive and kind. As the mother of a trans child I was already an ally, but now I can be an even better one because Schuyler chose to let us in and share his experiences.

So beautiful and educational

What a joy to listen to as you smile, cry, laugh and shout along the way. Wonderfully educational for the ally who strives to understand in order to help protect and support.