I'll Eat When I'm Dead

By: Barbara Bourland

Narrated by: Eileen Stevens

Every weekday morning, as the sun rose above Sixth Avenue, a peerless crop of women-frames poised, behavior polished, networks connected, and bodies generally buffed to a high sheen-were herded by the cattle prod of their own ambition to one particular building. They're smart, stylish, and sophisticated, even the one found dead in her office.

When stylish Hillary Whitney dies alone in a locked, windowless conference room at the offices of RAGE Fashion Book, her death is initially ruled an unfortunate side effect of the unrelenting pressure to be thin. But Hillary's best friend and fellow RAGE editor Catherine Ono knows her friend's dieting wasn't a capital P problem. If beauty could kill, it'd take more than that.

When two months later, a cryptic note in Hillary's handwriting ends up in the office of the NYPD and the case is reopened, Det. Mark Hutton is led straight into the glamorous world of RAGE and into the life of hot-headed and fiercely fabulous Cat, who insists on joining the investigation. Surrounded by a supporting cast of party girls, Type A narcissists and half- dead socialites, Cat and her colleague Bess Bonner are determined to solve the case and achieve sartorial perfection. But their amateur detective work has disastrous results, and the two ingenues are caught in a web of drugs, sex, lies and moisturizer that changes their lives forever.

Viciously funny, this sharp and satirical take on the politics of women's bodies and women's work is an addictive debut novel that dazzles with style and savoire faire.

Critic reviews

"A smart, satirical take on fashion and media that will have readers snorting with laughter."—The New York Post

"A whodunnit with a Devil Wears Prada twist...If you love UnReal, then this smart, sassy novel will be right up your alley."—Refinery29

"Sex. Drugs. Dries van Noten. I'll Eat When I'm Deadskewers Tribe Fashion with wit and wicked intelligence. From Finnish toast-only restaurants to kobe-beef hide bikinis and grandiose faux feminism, Barbara Bourland makes you laugh out loud, and keep turning the page. A deft, smart, and hilarious debut."—Wednesday Martin, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Primates of Park Avenue

"A highly polished satire... Hilarious."—Sunday Times

"Let me tell you, contrary to you might have heard, books about fashion can be both smart and funny. Barbara Bourland's snarky debut novel manages to tackle the politics of fashion magazines, the pitfalls and pratfalls being a social media influencer, and the true dangers of the pressures put on women for their appearances and the very real threats to their mental and physical health. And yet Bourland walks the line between serious and comedy so deftly that anyone who has read a women's magazine or caught an episode of America's Next Top Model will understand the jokes and the lessons without conflict."—Fortune

"A murder investigation hijacked by a hotheaded fashion magazine editor and her posse of party girls, narcissists, and socialites--what could go wrong?... Bourland turns a sharp eye to the politics of women's bodies and work environments in this compulsively readable mystery."—Read it Forward

"I'll Eat When I'm Dead combines sharp satire of the beauty-and-fashion industry with a twisty mystery."—Tampa Bay Times

"One part deliciously satirical send-up, one part murder mystery, I'll Eat When I'm Dead had me laughing out loud. This bold and wildly entertaining, in-your-face novel signals the arrival of Barbara Bourland as an exciting and savvy new voice."—Sara Blaedel, #1 international bestselling author of The Forgotten Girls

"I can't put I'll Eat When I'm Dead down, I LOVE it. Biting, funny, and brilliantly subversive; Bourland's debut is like The Devil Wears Prada meets American Psycho."—Louise O'Neill, author of Only Ever Yours and Asking For It

Good read!

Great book if you love fashion /sex in the city. Narrators were excellent ! Great turns and twists ! I listened to in 2 days .

Soapy and intelligent!

Creative, pulpy, dark but fun. Bourland’s writing always has incredible world building in particular descriptions of art and fashion.

The Narrator Makes This Shine

I enjoyed this sex-in-the-city-fashion week-murder-romp story. The Narrator took it to a higher level. I’ll be listening to whatever else she reads- as long as it falls in, or close to, the mystery/thriller/suspense category. I wouldn’t have enjoyed reading it nearly as much as listening to it from this Narrator.

hated it!

couldn't come close to finishing this one was so hard to listen to
seemed like the mystery was decent

Couldn't Get Past the Narrator

How did the narrator detract from the book?

Although I listened to the book in it's entirety.. the narrator really took away so much and made it such hard listen.