Love's Labor

How We Break and Make the Bonds of Love

By: Stephen Grosz

Narrated by: Stephen Grosz

An acclaimed author and psychoanalyst shares moving true stories from his practice to explore the central question of our lives: How do we find and keep love?

“A profound meditation on love and healing. Powerful and important. Essential reading.”—Tara Westover, author of Educated

In these brief, powerful accounts drawn from his more than thirty-five years counseling patients, Stephen Grosz brings us into the lives of people who cannot fully connect to their loved ones. Grosz helps his patients map their internal worlds to uncover the unconscious fears and desires sabotaging their relationships.

Hoping to avoid love’s end, one man obsessively tends to everyone around him. Another retreats from the world, unable to live fully until he’s able to confront the failure of a tragic romance. Adultery and betrayal tear apart two married couples, but in surprising ways, love persists between the spouses.

These true stories of everyday suffering—and profound relief—display Grosz’s deep understanding of the wayward heart and the obstacles to enduring connection.

The HUMANITY stood out most.

I liked his honesty about characterizing the Cycle analytic profession. I am now a retired, psychiatrist myself having been trained for Psychiatry at a time at an institution that was led by Psychoanalysis. From that exposure, I came away with the feeling that it was just too much like a club or a religion with all the members worshiping Freud and other well-known leaders. While these leaders were clever in explaining human behavior through stories, I failed to see the validity or the 'Truth" these tales and how to translate them into a useful communication with a living patient. Accordingly, I stayed practicing general adult psychiatry. For my career. I do not regret that, but see that I missed the depth of richness that can be had in psychoanalysis well done. His definition of happiness, which can be equal to the definition of good mental health, mainly that to be open to the joy of the satisfaction of valuing exactly what you have and accepting reality as it is without trying to control or deny it, is valuable, and my guiding philosophy was basically to try to communicate these ideas without the intensity of a psychotic experience. To any reader who is about to open this book, my message is to enjoy your bath in the richness of humanity, explained here.

The Cartography of Heartbreak

For those already mapping the latitude and altitude of their own hearts, Love’s Labor offers both compass and sextant. Grosz reminds us that our bewilderment or exasperation in love—the razor cuts of ghosting or the sticky sweetness of receiving too many acts of devotion—is not a flaw in character but part of the strange labor of being human. We participate, often without realizing it, in the heartbreaks that shape us. As I read, I kept thinking: if someone had helped me trace the contours of my own mind map with expert care, what hidden terrain of my life might have finally come into view?

The stories are beautiful, insightful and all resonated with me

I am a psychoanalyst in training. These stories resonated with the and I like the way Stephen Grosz articulates a patient s story