Men Have Called Her Crazy

A Memoir

By: Anna Marie Tendler

Narrated by: Anna Marie Tendler

“This book is so many things I didn’t know I needed: a testament to the work of healing, a raw howl of anger, and an indictment of misogyny’s insipid, predictable, infuriating reign.” —Carmen Maria Machado, author of the National Book Award finalist Her Body and Other Parties and the Lambda Literary Award winner In the Dream House

An “evocative and devastating” (The New York Times Book Review) memoir that reckons with mental health as well as the insidious ways men impact the lives of women.

In early 2021, popular artist Anna Marie Tendler checked herself into a psychiatric hospital following a year of crippling anxiety, depression, and self-harm. Over two weeks, she underwent a myriad of psychological tests, participated in numerous therapy sessions, connected with fellow patients, and experienced profound breakthroughs, such as when a doctor noted, “There is a you inside that feels invisible to those looking at you from the outside.”

In Men Have Called Her Crazy, Tendler recounts her hospital experience as well as pivotal moments in her life that preceded and followed. As the title suggests, many of these moments are impacted by men: unrequited love in high school; the twenty-eight-year-old she lost her virginity to when she was sixteen; the frustrations and absurdities of dating in her mid-thirties; and her decision to freeze her eggs as all her friends were starting families.

A “stunning self portrait of a woman trying to make sense of the misogyny and sexism she has faced throughout her life” (Time), Men Have Called Her Crazy examines the unreasonable expectations and pressures women face in the 21st century. It is an “original portrait of a woman who’s reached the apex of her rage against the patriarchy, a field guide to contemporary mental health practices, and a moving testament to the possibility of growth and healing” (W Magazine). Early in her stay in the hospital, she says, “My wish for myself is that one day I’ll reach a place where I can face hardship without trying to destroy myself.” By the end of this book, she fulfills that wish.

Critic reviews

"Anna Marie Tendler narrates her memoir of a short stay at a psychiatric hospital at the beginning of COVID as she attempts to deal with self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and an eating disorder. Along with a brutally realistic take on her stay, she includes scenes of her relationship with her mother, as well as older men with whom she was sexually involved as a minor. There’s also a brief glimpse of her life after the hospital. A theme throughout is how men can subtly keep women from becoming self-actualized. Although this story is Tendler’s, it’s universal. Listeners will feel her angst and, by the end, uplifting triumph. This audiobook is a deep look into the soul of a person who is willing to undertake hard work on herself to find satisfaction in life."

Honest

an honest story that i think needs to be heard. Not an untypical experience but she made it ok to talk about it.

Food for my soul

This book was like eating an incredibly delicious, comforting meal. I devoured it. It’s honest and vulnerable and sad and funny. I think if you or anyone you know struggles mentally, it’s a must-read. If you are a woman or you have women in your life, it’s a must-read. It’s such a relatable and helpful reminder that life is not linear, cycles are really hard to break, and that things actually can get better.

Beautiful, real, and honest

How the author weaves past experiences into her present day reality and how the two are intrinsically interlinked is beautiful and skillful.
The material resonatated with me on a deep level, as a woman with mental illness living in a deeply patriarchal society. Quite literally ended the book crying on an airplane in public. No shame.
10/10 will be recommending to all my female friends and a few select male friends.

Not what I expected

I started the book thinking it would be something it wasn’t- which is not the author’s fault. She wrote about mental illness in a very relatable way.

Not what I expected

I got this book for the same reasonany others did: I was hoping to see her side of her divorce. Maybe there was some deal made which is why she couldn't.

The book is technically well written and the author is good at describing thought processes and her point of view.

The man-hating seems tired and ironically takes away from her control. Having a dog healer and close proximity to rich people isn't poor. But there doesn't need to be a moral to the story, hopefully the author got a cathartic release while also capitalizing on a marriage to a man that allowed anyone to know who she is at all.