Motherhood So White

A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America

By: Nefertiti Austin

Narrated by: Allyson Johnson

In America, Mother = White

That's what Nefertiti, a single African American woman, discovered when she decided she wanted to adopt a Black baby boy out of the foster care system. Eager to finally join the motherhood ranks, Nefertiti was shocked when people started asking her why she wanted to adopt a "crack baby" or said that she would never be able to raise a Black son on her own. She realized that American society saw motherhood through a White lens, and that there would be no easy understanding or acceptance of the kind of family she hoped to build.

Motherhood So White is the story of Nefertiti's fight to create the family she always knew she was meant to have and the story of motherhood that all American families need now. In this unflinching account of her parenting journey, Nefertiti examines the history of adoption in the African American community, faces off against stereotypes of single, Black motherhood, and confronts the reality of raising children of color in racially charged, modern-day America.

Honest, vulnerable, and uplifting, Motherhood So White reveals what Nefertiti knew all along - that the only requirement for a successful family is one raised with love.

©2019 Nefertiti Austin (P)2019 HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books

A memoir not a roadmap

Beautiful memoir but not what I was hoping for. Narrator’s voice somehow amplified an air of haughtiness that put me off. As a fellow foster (& bio) mom I wanted to be eyes wide open knowing adoption may become part of my family’s story and saw this as a learning opportunity to challenge my assumptions or ideas. Felt like instead I got multiple self referential chapters about how author couldn’t find books like this. That said I was rooting for Nefertiti and Austin, celebrate her sharing her experience and aware that the book was not written for me -a white mother.

interesting story!

it was an interesting story. I never thought of mothering in the ways that were highlighted in this book. I think it was a great look inside the adoption and single mothering world.

Beautifully Written

Loved every moment! Very personal yet informative and the story flowed nicely! Great read for all mamas!

In America, Motherhood = White.

In America, Motherhood = White.

"I spent a long time looking for representation in parenting, and this book is in your hands because one woman seeking to be a mother was looking for answers. I thought information for mothers would be race-neutral but it wasn't. Coming up empty-handed in my search for information about Black mothers forced me to reconcile how other single, non-rich, Black women achieved motherhood."

Nefertiti shared with us her experiences filled with challenges growing up that no doubt impacted her decision on how she would choose to become a parent. She discussed a few key factors that contribute to the cloudy lens through which Black Motherhood is viewed.

Very insightful, taking the reader along on her journey, giving first hand accounts of the adoption process or should I say, the Black experience into becoming a mother, the myths and misperceptions that surrounds it. Nefertiti does a great job at deconstructing this bias in her memoir:hoping to erase the stereotypes of this very uneven playing field within Black Motherhood.

The author would also include historical and evidenced based facts related to the separation of the enslaved Black families that continue to plague the cohesiveness of Black families to this day.

Her memoir is her passionate journey to achieving a forever family via adoption, where she selflessly contributed to the very sparse genre of books that weren't readily available to Black mothers seeking to adopt.

I leave you with this question...
What are some of the ways you can continue to break down barriers, deconstruct biases and demystify false notions regarding Black Motherhood?

Enlightening for a white, future foster-adoptive mama

This is an invaluable resource (and a fun and easy read!). I wish I could thank Nefertiti personally. As a future foster-adoptive mother in California, I ate this book up. I feel more prepared and less scared about the adoption process especially about managing my family’s fears and ignorant comments. The discussions of how motherhood is so white (and assumed to be part of a heterosexual marriage) in America helped me understand things I had not known before about black, single, and black single mothers’ experiences in America. Also, as a Professor of Child Development, I look forward to incorporating some of this materials into my classes. Thank you so much!! I will recommend this book to everyone, and I’m off to make my husband read it now…