Not Drinking Tonight

A Guide to Creating a Sober Life You Love

By: Amanda E. White LPC LPC

Narrated by: Amanda E. White LPC LPC, Suehyla El-Attar

In this honest discussion of mental health, the founder of Therapy for Women explores our reasons for drinking alcohol—and the benefits of taking a break.

When “retired party girl” and popular therapist Amanda White admitted she was an alcoholic, it wasn’t because she’d done something outrageous while under the influence, like land herself in jail or get married in Vegas. It was because she realized three things: 1. Alcohol was making her life worse. 2. Moderation wasn’t helping. 3. She could not be a therapist if she continued to use alcohol to numb her life. Something needed to change—not just her relationship with alcohol, but her relationship with herself.

Choosing not to drink can be daunting. It’s everywhere in our culture, our socializing, and our destressing. And it can seem black or white: you drink, or you don’t (and if you don’t, people ask why). That’s where Not Drinking Tonight comes in. Judgement-free and relatable, Amanda helps you unpack your relationship with alcohol by showing you how to:

1. Find out why you drink. Whether it’s a glass of wine after work or a weekly bar crawl, your drinking habits can be the result of everything from biology to trauma.
2. Heal your relationship with alcohol. Understand how your relationships have been affecting your life, and learn how to set boundaries and create true self care.
3. Build the sober life you love. Learn what comes next—how to maintain your social life, navigate sex and relationships, and love yourself.

Not Drinking Tonight isn’t a program to stop drinking. It’s the first book to help you address the root issues that cause you to reach for a drink, and create a life you love—one that is not perfect, but is messy and real and one you are fully present for.

Critic reviews

“Not Drinking Tonight is a wonderful guide to setting healthy boundaries with alcohol—and yourself. Amanda helps you dig into the root of your struggles to better understand why you drink and why you might want to stop--setting you up for a more fulfilling life all around, even if you don’t choose full sobriety. Readers will gain the self-awareness, compassion, and confidence to make choices that better serve them.”—Nedra Tawwab, MSW, LCSW, New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace

"Anyone wanting to change their relationship with alcohol must be willing to do some deep self-examination. Amanda White’s multi-layered approach offers empowerment, experience, and wisdom to those looking to begin their own journeys."—Annie Grace, author of This Naked Mind and The Alcohol Experiment

“A knowledgeable, compassionate, and supportive guide. With a wealth of examples, tools, practices, and new ways of relating to both alcohol and the self, Not Drinking Tonight will be an accessible and revelatory balm for anyone questioning the kind of life they want to create outside of drinking.”—Lisa Olivera, LMFT, author of Already Enough

"Amanda White is a gentle and wise guide on the journey toward living a sober or sober curious life. Not Drinking Tonight is full of relatable client stories and practical tools you can begin integrating immediately. A must read for anyone reconsidering their relationship with alcohol."—Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, founder of @mindfulmft and author of Origins of You

“I truly believe that anyone will benefit from reading this book, regardless of their relationship with alcohol. This book is such a great, relatable resource that will help us cultivate more self-awareness and compassion, while gently examining our relationship with alcohol, and ourselves.”—Caroline Dooner, author of the bestselling book The F*ck It Diet

“Not Drinking Tonight is the book for anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol or other addictive behaviors. I love how this book pushes us to examine what we’ve been taught about alcohol, how it’s impacting us, and what we can do about it. This guide will help anyone who's ever felt stuck in their drinking habits, without slapping on scary labels or prescribing full sobriety.”—Whitney Goodman, LMFT, founder of @sitwithwhit and author of Toxic Positivity

Great read

This was a great book! I felt like it was too short I wanted it to keep going. She’s a great writer and had so many amazing takeaways.

Good!!!!

This is a great book to anyone to be a better and real person! Thank you

Informative & helpful

Really loved this book. Very insightful and informative. Helpful tips & did a great job explaining alcohol overall.

The real truth about drinking alcohol for better the book helped me much more than

Nothing to dislike very helpful and it works when you know the facts outlined here

Applies to more than just drinking

Engaging and informative. This book provides helpful tools for examining your drinking or other vices. I’d recommend it to anyone who is thinking about making a change in their drinking or their life.