The Dry Season

A Memoir of Pleasure in a Year Without Sex

By: Melissa Febos

Narrated by: Melissa Febos

From Melissa Febos, the national bestselling author of Girlhood, comes an examination of the solitude, freedoms, and feminist heroes she discovered during a year of celibacy and a wise and transformative look at relationships and self-knowledge.

“Only Melissa Febos could convince us of the ecstasy of abstinence. She never fails in her candor and precision.”—Katherine May, author of Wintering

In the wake of a catastrophic two-year relationship, Melissa Febos decided to take a break: For three months she would abstain from dating, relationships, and sex. Her friends were amused. Did she really think three months was a long time? But to Febos, it was. Ever since her teens, she had been in one relationship after another with men and women. As she puts it, she could trace a “daisy chain of romances” from her adolescence to her midthirties. Finally, she would carve out time to focus on herself and examine the patterns that had produced her midlife disaster. Over those first few months, she gleaned insights into her past and awoke to the joys of being single. She decided to extend her celibacy, not knowing it would become the most fulfilling and sensual year of her life. No longer defined by her romantic pursuits, she learned to relish the delights of solitude, the thrill of living on her own terms, the distinct pleasures unmediated by lovers, and the freedom to pursue her ideals without distraction or guilt. Bringing her own experiences into conversation with those of women throughout history—from eleventh-century mystic Hildegard von Bingen, Virginia Woolf, and Octavia Butler to the Shakers and Sappho—Febos situates her story within a newfound lineage of role models who unapologetically pursued their ambitions and ideals.

By abstaining from all forms of romantic entanglement, Febos began to see her life and her self-worth in a radical, new way. Her year of divestment transformed her relationships with friends and peers, her spirituality, her creative practice, and, most of all, her relationship to herself. Blending intimate personal narrative and incisive cultural criticism, The Dry Season tells a story that’s as much about celibacy as its inverse: pleasure, desire, fulfillment. Infused with fearless honesty and keen intellect, it’s the memoir of a woman learning to live at the center of her own story, and a much-needed catalyst for a new conversation around sex and love.

Excellent again!

Solid storytelling, beautiful prose, and deep introspection, combined with fascinating research. Febos is a miner of truth and complexity.

Moving, impactful, and poetic

One of the best books I’ve ever listened to in my life. Getting the printed version of it too. It’s just THAT good!

Loved this Memoir

There is beautiful depth in this memoir about solitude, inner trust and connectedness, and the importance of following one’s heart. Love, relationships, and the loss of self in them is something I have never quite figured out. The perspective and journey the author shared helps me understand it a little more and I’m grateful for that.

Loved it. She put into words something I also lived through but could not describe as well

Beautiful language. Even something simple like coming down the stairs. She knows how to tell lived truth

Super insightful!

This book is full of insights without an ounce of preaching! Loved this book, worth a re-listen in time. Thank you!