The Invisible Ache

Black Men Identifying Their Pain and Reclaiming Their Power

By: Courtney B. Vance, Robin L. Smith

Narrated by: Courtney B. Vance, Robin L. Smith

From an award-winning actor and a #1 bestselling author, a unique combination of moving memoir and practical tools that offers guidance for Black men seeking to reclaim their mental well-being–and, ultimately, to live wholeheartedly.

In America, we teach that strength means holding back tears and shaming your own feelings. In the Black community, these pressures are especially poignant. Poor mental health outcomes—including diagnoses of depression and anxiety, reliance on prescription drugs, and suicide—have skyrocketed in the past decade. In this book, actor Courtney B. Vance seeks to change this trajectory.

Along with professional expertise from famed psychologist Dr. Robin L. Smith (popularly known as “Dr. Robin”), Courtney B. Vance explores issues of grief, relationships, identity, and race through the telling of his own most formative experiences. Together, they provide a guide for Black men navigating life’s ups and downs, reclaiming mental well-being, and examining broken pieces to find whole, full-hearted living.

Self-care is an act of revolution. It’s time to revolutionize mental health in the Black community.

"A thoughtful, wise, empathetic book that has the capacity to save lives." —Kirkus Reviews

"... an inspiring story of what [Black men] can achieve personally and professionally when they have the tools and support necessary to examine their pain and find their joy." —New York Journal of Books

Critic reviews

“The Invisible Ache is one more example of all the reasons that I came to love Courtney B. Vance. What drew me to him is his willingness to be a servant, to help and be there for others. What greater gift can one receive than the message that you are not alone and that there is support. You just have to be open to receiving and welcoming it. What Dr. Robin and Courtney offer in these pages are comfort, answers, personal stories, and a lot of love for Black boys and men. My hope is that The Invisible Ache will become a cherished book on countless reading lists and the many lives that are blessed will span the distance from the Earth to the rainbow.”—Angela Bassett, Award-winning Actress, Director & Producer

"Brother Vance’s spirit of compassion and generosity is an emotional house built on the foundations of love, faith, humility, and courage. Where others may hide, Courtney stands bravely in the light, telling his story as a means to help others. In The Invisible Ache, Courtney and Dr. Robin selflessly extend hands and hearts to those seeking a place to receive a welcome balm for the soul."

—Presiding Bishop Emeritus Bishop Charles E. Blake, Sr., West Angeles Church of God in Christ and Lady Mae Blake

"Mental health in the Black community has not been embraced but is extremely important and should be discussed. For Black men, there is no better voice of compassion and understanding than Courtney B. Vance to help initiate this healing journey. Together, with Dr. Robin, Courtney shares his own journey to illustrate that vulnerability, truth, and faith are direct pathways to a happier, more fulfilling life. The Invisible Ache is for males of all ages, and the women who love them, to help them overcome their struggles and live a life of sustained purpose and worth."

—Earvin "Magic" Johnson, Businessman & Philanthropist

“Mental health has become an epidemic among the Black male community, but they are so often left out of the conversation. Dr. Robin and Courtney B. Vance are tackling this issue head on in a compassionate, educational and actionable way that will positively impact the lives of so many. Silent suffering doesn't have to be the status quo and The Invisible Ache will provide solace and healing to those who seek healing and understanding.”
—Debra Lee, former CEO of BET, founder of Leading Women Defined

Transparency & Culnerability with Empowerment

I will read it again and our three sons have the information, one of which is currently reading the book. It has generated more dialogue and story telling in our family. I especially love the title. The words, Invisible Ache, resonates in my entire being and speaks to each of us Black folk individually and collectively!

Needed

This book was right on time. Thank you Mr. Vance for your vulnerability. Thank you Dr. Smith for your break down and takeaways.

Necessary Read

This is a powerful resource for Black men and those who love them! Insightful, resourceful, well written, and well read!

A Black Man’s World

Courtney’s oration- his tone, cadence, delivery, and power is stellar! This reminded me of who Courtney is!

Yet, I have concern with several aspects and portions of Courtney’s story. As it’s validly His-Story, as in being the personal “History” he wants to share, I fully respect and received it.

Courtney recalled an experience whereby he felt “overlooked and locked out” while waiting for Dr. K. I was disappointed and even offended that he felt the need to be, and wanted to be acknowledged by “…all those white folks…” I’m convinced this very thing- ALWAYS seeking their acceptance, acknowledgment, and approval, has caused us to be in this cosmic battle with White People; Our incessant desire to be “integrated” with them has, per my perspective, caused many of the interpersonal dichotomies Courtney experienced/discussed throughout the book.

Dr. Robin’s commentary regarding our collective history was factually accurate and should alway be remembered and held close- as it IS our peoples history.
My concern is how the narratives presented such as, “Black Men (you) are hunted and hounded everyday…”

Additional commentaries, stories, and statistics are presented that, as I ingested them, could and would create a dooms-day scenario in some Black Men’s hearts and minds (imagination), stimulating an internal sense of tension, fear, inferiority, shame, and possibly a forfeiture of intention- as it seems all insurmountable.

I was/am also perturbed by the implied approval, support of, and advocacy for sexual/intimate relations between Black Men. I do not believe our historical lineage and heritage included this behavior. Surely the historical Biblical/Theological underpinnings of our HISTORICAL call and claim faith never supported this. Thusly, I contend Dr. Robin intentionally diminished and irreverently mishandled, and did not rightly divide the Word of God.

Also, the placement of secular therapy/counseling and other psych-based interventions BEFORE and above seeking the Wisdom of God first, was a big miss. I would further suggest this is not in alignment with “our” collective historical narrative and intent for solutions.

Lastly, I completely reject the notion that men should be vulnerable. I hold this position even more strongly as applied to “Black” Men!
Men should ALWAYS be in their masculine frame and power!
The Most High created us in His very image and likeness (for those of us who Believe), and God was never vulnerable, fearful, or operating in any capacity than in His power and glory.
Yes, Christ spoke to “turning the other cheek” Yet, He was also the Man who directly confronted the ruling class and turned over tables, while whipping them out of the temple. Nonetheless, we are to operate in Love, Joy, and Peace (the Beatitudes). However, righteous anger and “action” scripturally valid.

Around chapter 6 is where I started finding more alignment. This is where my personal rubric and approach of “Now that you know, Now What?” Started to be answered!

So, how do we overcome?

1. By NOT wallowing in the untoward events of the past

2. By NOT ruminating, and re-living, and even “Re-Telling” the same story- from 1984!!

3. By NOT seeking other’s acceptance, approval, and “applause”

4. By Staying in Faith*
(In something other that Man)

5. Building community (as Dr. Robin covered)

6. Becoming Self-reliant, resilient, and refusing to become part of the permanent underclass and dependent class (AlWAYS seeking so-called expert advice/direction, seeking more “knowledge” and academic wisdom
- as opposed to what you ALREADY know on your heart of hearts! Because He has given us His Spirit

That same Spirit and sense on Knowing (with that audible voice) Courtney (Mr. Vance!) heard, recognized, and OBEYED per that one ER visit narrative.

Inasmuch this is:
A Good listen
Good insights
Powerful narration

Add this to your library!

Blessing & Grace to all!

Amazing book

I’m only half way through and this book is absolutely amazing and helpful. Courtney’s vulnerability is so powerful in sharing his story and his narration was great. While I understand the intention of having Dr. Robin here to validate and serve as a resource, I would have appreciated her part as a separate book. It’s a bit incongruent as it is currently, with both parts together.