The Measure of My Powers

A Memoir of Food, Misery, and Paris

By: Jackie Kai Ellis

Narrated by: Jackie Kai Ellis

INSTANT NATIONAL BESTSELLER AND SHORTLISTED FOR THE 2019 TASTE CANADA AWARDS AND THE RAKUTEN KOBO EMERGING WRITER PRIZE. For fans of Eat Pray Love, Wild, and H is for Hawk, The Measure of My Powers is the story of one woman's search for self-love, experienced through food and travel.

"With searing vulnerability and unflinching honesty, Jackie Kai Ellis takes us on an intense and immersive journey from her darkest moments to the redemption she finds through her love of food, Paris, and ultimately, herself."
--Jen Waite, bestselling author of A Beautiful, Terrible Thing

On the surface, Jackie Kai Ellis's life was the one that she and every woman wanted. She was in her late twenties and married to a handsome man, she had a successful career as a designer, and she had a beautiful home. But instead of feeling fulfilled, happy, and loved, each morning she'd wake up dreading the day ahead, searching for a way out. Depression clouded every moment, the feelings of inadequacy that had begun in childhood now consumed her, and her marriage was slowly transforming into one between strangers--unfamiliar, childless, and empty. In the darkness, she could only find one source of light: the kitchen. It was the place where Jackie escaped, finding peace, comfort, and acceptance.

This is the story of one woman's journey to find herself. Armed with nothing but a love of food and the words of the 20th-century food writer M.F.K. Fisher, she travels from France to Italy, then the Congo, and back again. Along the way, she goes to pastry school in Paris, eats the most perfect apricots over the Tuscan hills, watches a family of gorillas grazing deep in the Congolese brush, has her heart broken one last time on a bridge in Lyon, and, ultimately, finds a path to life and joy.

Told with insight and intimacy, and radiating with warmth and humor, The Measure of My Powers is an inspiring memoir, and an unforgettable experience of the senses.

Critic reviews

“Open, raw and honest. . . . Tender and authentic tales of a woman coming into her own.”
—The Globe and Mail

“With searing vulnerability and unflinching honesty, Jackie Kai Ellis takes us on an intense and immersive journey from her darkest moments to the redemption she finds through her love of food, Paris, and, ultimately, herself.”
—Jen Waite, Internationally Bestselling Author of A Beautiful, Terrible Thing

“This inspiring memoir digs deep into one woman’s struggles to overcome her depression. A writer, baker, woman of the world—Jackie Kai Ellis stars in all these roles.”
—Lucy Waverman, Award-Winning Author of The Flavour Principle

“An uplifting memoir that’s taught me the importance of valuing yourself, and not being afraid to ask for the things you want in life.”
—Joann Pai, Food and Travel Photographer, @sliceofpai

beautiful, raw, honestly.

Unfiltered and moving. Uplifting in her hope and growth, Jackie's account of her struggles and healing are inspiring in a way that you think, "I can do this too."

Great book to start the new year!

I was drawn into Jackie’s story. Didn’t know what to expect and was happily surprised with the authenticity and ups and downs of her extraordinary life. Inspiring and interesting!