What Made Maddy Run

The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All-American Teen

By: Kate Fagan

Narrated by: Kate Fagan

The heartbreaking story of college athlete Madison Holleran, whose life and death by suicide reveal the struggle of young people suffering from mental illness today in this #1 New York Times Sports and Fitness bestseller.

If you scrolled through the Instagram feed of 19-year-old Maddy Holleran, you would see a perfect life: a freshman at an Ivy League school, recruited for the track team, who was also beautiful, popular, and fiercely intelligent. This was a girl who succeeded at everything she tried, and who was only getting started. But when Maddy began her long-awaited college career, her parents noticed something changed. Previously indefatigable Maddy became withdrawn, and her thoughts centered on how she could change her life. In spite of thousands of hours of practice and study, she contemplated transferring from the school that had once been her dream.

When Maddy's dad, Jim, dropped her off for the first day of spring semester, she held him a second longer than usual. That would be the last time Jim would see his daughter. What Made Maddy Run began as a piece that Kate Fagan, a columnist for espnW, wrote about Maddy's life. What started as a profile of a successful young athlete whose life ended in suicide became so much larger when Fagan started to hear from other college athletes also struggling with mental illness.

This is the story of Maddy Holleran's life, and her struggle with depression, which also reveals the mounting pressures young people -- and college athletes in particular -- face to be perfect, especially in an age of relentless connectivity and social media saturation.

Critic reviews

Praise for What Made Maddy Run

Semi-Finalist for the PEN/ESPN Award for Literary Sportswriting

"A poignant study of the converging pressures of mental illness, college athletics and social media."—Carlos Lozada, Washington Post

"Gripping and universal"
—Trevor Noah, The Daily Show

"Fagan does an exceptional job laying out [Maddy's] pain in a narrative style that is both persuasive and honest . . . a comprehensive, essential, and well-written piece about mental health, as well as a small step toward reducing the stigma around anxiety and depression."—Erin McCarthy, Philadelphia Inquirer

"A compassionate and frank look at depression and the social pressure faced by many college students as seen through the eyes of one young woman."—Kirkus

"With immense empathy, [Fagan] shares insights particular to student athletes, but presents them in universally accessible language and connects with the non-athlete through vivid examples"—Shelf-Awareness

"Fagan delivers the sequence of events in such a heartfelt but very real way"—Caitlyn Pilkington, Women's Running

"Holleran seems so alive on the page; her messages and Fagan's prose create someone who seems a real, living thing, so much so that by the end, this reader was rooting for her to talk to someone"

—Flotrack

"The book goes beyond telling a heartbreaking story; it encourages compassion toward young adults struggling with mental health issues and will ultimately help us think about ways to prevent similar tragedies."—National Book Review

"Fagan's book is well-researched and the message is timely and important."—Publishers' Weekly

"It is impossible not to be affected by Holleran's heart-wrenching story. An appropriate (if difficult) read for current and future college athletes, their coaches, and parents."—Library Journal

"the must-read book of 2017 for runners or competitive athletes of all kinds...thoroughly researched, written with sensitivity"—Sinead Mulhern, Canadian Running

"Covering an issue as sensitive as a teen suicide is no easy task and Fagan's compassion and desire to prevent more students from following Holleran's path shows in her writing. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to be better informed about mental health issues among college students."—Carina Julig, cuindependent.com

"A provocative and thoughtful look at a student-athlete suicide that rocked the nation--but didn't, until now, actually help inform the nation. A labor of love and prevention by Kate Fagan, and Maddy's family and friends."

—Stephen Fried, best-selling author of Thing of Beauty and with Patrick Kennedy, A Common Struggle

Tackles an uncomfortable topic

Well-written. The author made a great effort to discuss the events of Maddy's life in a way that is informative and compassionate.

Amazing, agonizing story

An incredibly powerful story that is difficult to listen to because the subject matter is so painful. A must-read for parents whose children experience the constant pressure of social media and the pressure to succeed.

The struggles everyone faces as an athlete

It was very good and open my eyes to everyone and how people view themselves not only as humans but so much more open my eyes to sports and they aren’t everything

strong story until the end

This was the first audible book I purchased and I’d been wanting to read/listen for a while. The story is, of course, very tragic. You learn that from the title. I enjoyed the first 75% or so of the book. Strong narrative and very detailed. I felt the end kind of just “happened” and that was that. I would’ve like to have had the last part be as good as the first. It is still a good book and eye opening, just don’t hold your breath for the ending (not what happens, just the story itself).

An exceptional inside look.

The author of this book did an exceptional job telling Madison’s story. This story was so real, so important, and truly needed to be told. As someone who works in Higher Education, I can truly say the content of this book will guide my professional practices differently having heard it. We often times forget people are people, and people have lives. Thank you to the Madison’s family to allow this book to be written in order to help others.