When Darkness Falls, He Doesn't Catch It

By: Ross Patterson

Narrated by: Ross Patterson

You’re goddamn right. I’m still sitting at the same weathered wooden table in the back of Manhattan’s oldest bar where I just finished my first masterpiece, At Night She Cries, While He Rides His Steed. The second I finished it, I started writing this one.

I’m now 14 beers deep, and I’ve polished off an entire eight ball of yay. The phrase “everything in moderation” applies to everything except cocaine, booze, and prostitutes. If you haven’t read my last book then you probably won’t f--cking understand anything in this book, so you should probably go buy that first and stop being poor. It’s f--cking gross.

Let’s get something straight, my life is so important that you should be grateful I’m even doing this. Seriously, do you know another motherf--cker like me? Me, neither. So let’s get down to brass.

In the last book, I told you that I was going to off myself after completing my life story. That still holds true. My trusty handgun is still loaded next to my Remington Rand typewriter that Hemingway pissed on, and you know the f--cking bartender isn’t going to cut me off, so I’m going to sit here and keep writing my memoirs until I finish. To answer your question: No, I haven’t gotten up for bathroom breaks. I just piss on the floor.

©2018 Ross Patterson (P)2018 Ross Patterson

Funniest Audiobook ever recorded

This book just stole the top spot away from At Night She Cries, While He Rides His Steed. Which makes sense, both books were written by the same author, the amazingly talented Ross Patterson. Cant wait for #3, but Ill listen to both again until then.

I wish this book was my son instead of my real son

This book cured my cancer. it's like two nukes and a Corvette having sex. incredible.

fucking awesome

another amazing chapter in the tale of the incredibly humble and courteous St James St James. just buy the damn book, you won't regret it.

best damn series

Ross really knows how to capture an audience. I couldn't stop listening, and finished it in a day.

just buy it!!

what a ride! many twist's and turns..not for the faint of heart. can't wait for the next one.