“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” Herman Melville

There is a kind of passive failure no one really talks about. We hide it in a back room, where it collects dust, away from the world, so we can ignore it. This failure exists in many of us; it’s there because of fear.

This passive failure I’m referring to comes from never trying. We have dreams, goals, and aspirations of writing that song, learning to dance, or going on a spiritual quest. We know these things are in us because they tap us on the shoulder now and then, but we ignore them.

These back-room treasures are the very things our souls long for. So why do we ignore them? Because we fear failure, some illusory public humiliation. We fear our highest aspirations, and we fear our greatest selves.

Because of these fears, we make decisions to stay safe. We convince ourselves that being ‘normal’ is better, and as long as we stay hidden in the crowd, we won’t be noticed. We won’t be subject to finger-pointing, rejection, or being labelled the black sheep of the family.

We hand ourselves over to father society and ask him to help us look like everyone else. This idea of fitting in is conditioning. Groupthink. Herd mentality. And so long as you can keep your dreams at bay, there’s nothing wrong with it.

But, if you’re a dreamer, like Amelia Earhart, Brad Pitt, Helen Keller, or Terry ‘Hulk’ Hogan, and like me, when you stuff those dreams in the back room, it does something to your soul.

If you identify with this writing, and you're telling yourself, this Terry guy is writing to me, congratulations. There’s still time to pull that dream out of the closet, dust it off, and run with it. When you do this, you’ll find a fresh wind, one breathed into your sails fresh, anew each day.

Yes, you will fail along the way, but once you begin pursuing your dream, your life will change. Day after day, you’ll see the desires of your heart materialize, and this becomes enough to keep you going. The pursuit of a dream is chock full of small failures and successes, but as long as you can keep your win column just higher than the losses, you’ll wake up one day to see you’ve brought something incredible to life.

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” Dr. Seuss

This is how to do something original. This is how you pursue your heart’s desire. It starts with one decision today. No need to worry about tomorrow. When you get there, simply repeat your decision, and remember, it is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.

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“Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” Earl Nightingale

A great friend of mine often greets me with, “Happy Monday. It’s the best day of the week.” When we talk on Thursdays, his greeting is modified, “Happy Thursday. It’s the fourth best day of the week.”

Over a decade ago, when we were just beginning our friendship, I was unsure how to respond to his unorthodox thinking, but over time, I adopted it.

Years ago, I met with my senior pastor. I was on church staff at the time, leading our volunteer ministry. When I sat down with him, I said, “Pastor, there’s a mass exodus in all of the teams. We are losing a bunch of people.”

“Stop right there,” he said. “Terry, you have to watch your words because you can speak things into existence.”

I’ve had the good fortune of learning from these two wise men. They’ve taught me that attitude and words matter, and that much of life depends on the lens through which we view the world. If we choose to see Mondays or team dysfunction through a negative lens, we will continue to find bad outcomes. But if we decide to view problems or temporary setbacks as opportunities for growth, everything changes. We can literally change the scripts in our lives.

“Your thoughts construct patterns like scaffolding in your mind. You are really etching chemical patterns. In most cases, people get stuck in those patterns just like grooves on a record and they never get out of them.” Steve Jobs

To a large extent, we find what we are looking for in life. All one has to do is look to the news to discover carnage and devastation; it’s chock-full of the worst possible headlines available. If we pay enough attention to these narratives, at some point, they become the lenses through which we see the world.

But if we change our perspective and look for the good in the world, we’ll begin to realize a totally different story. Your opinion of the world is in large part due to your subconscious retelling of the stories you consume. It’s one big movie reel of the information you’ve allowed to enter your mind.

What does this mean for us? There’s a wise saying from King Solomon that has stayed relevant for nearly 3,000 years, and things that last this long have power, and they should be paid close attention to.

King Solomon said, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”Solomon knew that our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.

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“True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.” Henry James

What is true happiness? How many people have found it? What percentage of our population lives in true happiness?

I have only glimpsed it and grabbed ahold of it for moments, maybe a few days at a time, but True Happiness is something I continually strive for. Henry James had it right in my opinion — to have true happiness — we must get out of ourselves first and then figure out how to stay out.

One of the best-selling books of all-time, The Purpose Driven Life, begins with the line, “It’s not about you.”

The reason we have functioning bodies, the ability to love, empathize, and give is because we were made for others. Isolation and self-absorption are dangerous; they are a recipe for self-destruction.

The hardest criminals on the planet are placed in solitary confinement and kept from human contact for two reasons: they are a dangerous and because a lack of human contact is painful. To be in isolation is a very real form of torture because it keeps us from what we were made for, others.

Giving ourselves to others is the first part of Henry James’ statement; the second is having an ‘absorbing errand.’

What is an absorbing errand? It’s simply a purpose, passion, or mission greater than ourselves. It’s a personal striving that enriches those around us. If we can find our purpose, our fulfillment takes care of itself — our true happiness is a byproduct of doing what makes us come alive.

“True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.” Henry James

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