“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” Herman Melville

There is a kind of passive failure no one really talks about. We hide it in a back room, where it collects dust, away from the world, so we can ignore it. This failure exists in many of us; it’s there because of fear.

This passive failure I’m referring to comes from never trying. We have dreams, goals, and aspirations of writing that song, learning to dance, or going on a spiritual quest. We know these things are in us because they tap us on the shoulder now and then, but we ignore them.

These back-room treasures are the very things our souls long for. So why do we ignore them? Because we fear failure, some illusory public humiliation. We fear our highest aspirations, and we fear our greatest selves.

Because of these fears, we make decisions to stay safe. We convince ourselves that being ‘normal’ is better, and as long as we stay hidden in the crowd, we won’t be noticed. We won’t be subject to finger-pointing, rejection, or being labelled the black sheep of the family.

We hand ourselves over to father society and ask him to help us look like everyone else. This idea of fitting in is conditioning. Groupthink. Herd mentality. And so long as you can keep your dreams at bay, there’s nothing wrong with it.

But, if you’re a dreamer, like Amelia Earhart, Brad Pitt, Helen Keller, or Terry ‘Hulk’ Hogan, and like me, when you stuff those dreams in the back room, it does something to your soul.

If you identify with this writing, and you're telling yourself, this Terry guy is writing to me, congratulations. There’s still time to pull that dream out of the closet, dust it off, and run with it. When you do this, you’ll find a fresh wind, one breathed into your sails fresh, anew each day.

Yes, you will fail along the way, but once you begin pursuing your dream, your life will change. Day after day, you’ll see the desires of your heart materialize, and this becomes enough to keep you going. The pursuit of a dream is chock full of small failures and successes, but as long as you can keep your win column just higher than the losses, you’ll wake up one day to see you’ve brought something incredible to life.

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” Dr. Seuss

This is how to do something original. This is how you pursue your heart’s desire. It starts with one decision today. No need to worry about tomorrow. When you get there, simply repeat your decision, and remember, it is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.

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“Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” Earl Nightingale

A great friend of mine often greets me with, “Happy Monday. It’s the best day of the week.” When we talk on Thursdays, his greeting is modified, “Happy Thursday. It’s the fourth best day of the week.”

Over a decade ago, when we were just beginning our friendship, I was unsure how to respond to his unorthodox thinking, but over time, I adopted it.

Years ago, I met with my senior pastor. I was on church staff at the time, leading our volunteer ministry. When I sat down with him, I said, “Pastor, there’s a mass exodus in all of the teams. We are losing a bunch of people.”

“Stop right there,” he said. “Terry, you have to watch your words because you can speak things into existence.”

I’ve had the good fortune of learning from these two wise men. They’ve taught me that attitude and words matter, and that much of life depends on the lens through which we view the world. If we choose to see Mondays or team dysfunction through a negative lens, we will continue to find bad outcomes. But if we decide to view problems or temporary setbacks as opportunities for growth, everything changes. We can literally change the scripts in our lives.

“Your thoughts construct patterns like scaffolding in your mind. You are really etching chemical patterns. In most cases, people get stuck in those patterns just like grooves on a record and they never get out of them.” Steve Jobs

To a large extent, we find what we are looking for in life. All one has to do is look to the news to discover carnage and devastation; it’s chock-full of the worst possible headlines available. If we pay enough attention to these narratives, at some point, they become the lenses through which we see the world.

But if we change our perspective and look for the good in the world, we’ll begin to realize a totally different story. Your opinion of the world is in large part due to your subconscious retelling of the stories you consume. It’s one big movie reel of the information you’ve allowed to enter your mind.

What does this mean for us? There’s a wise saying from King Solomon that has stayed relevant for nearly 3,000 years, and things that last this long have power, and they should be paid close attention to.

King Solomon said, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”Solomon knew that our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.

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“True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.” Henry James

What is true happiness? How many people have found it? What percentage of our population lives in true happiness?

I have only glimpsed it and grabbed ahold of it for moments, maybe a few days at a time, but True Happiness is something I continually strive for. Henry James had it right in my opinion — to have true happiness — we must get out of ourselves first and then figure out how to stay out.

One of the best-selling books of all-time, The Purpose Driven Life, begins with the line, “It’s not about you.”

The reason we have functioning bodies, the ability to love, empathize, and give is because we were made for others. Isolation and self-absorption are dangerous; they are a recipe for self-destruction.

The hardest criminals on the planet are placed in solitary confinement and kept from human contact for two reasons: they are a dangerous and because a lack of human contact is painful. To be in isolation is a very real form of torture because it keeps us from what we were made for, others.

Giving ourselves to others is the first part of Henry James’ statement; the second is having an ‘absorbing errand.’

What is an absorbing errand? It’s simply a purpose, passion, or mission greater than ourselves. It’s a personal striving that enriches those around us. If we can find our purpose, our fulfillment takes care of itself — our true happiness is a byproduct of doing what makes us come alive.

“True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.” Henry James

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“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s. Their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” Oscar Wilde

When struck with this statement, the question immediately came to mind, is this true of my life? To find out I inverted the statement:

Most people are themselves. Their thoughts are uniquely their own. Their lives are original, their passions a reality.

When I tested myself against these two opposites, I asked, which I’m closer to?

This is a worthy exercise that can help us test the truth and authenticity in our lives. Are we being who we want to be? Are we who we were meant to be? Or, are we trying to become a version of acceptable or ideal?

“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us.” Which are you living? Whose thoughts are you thinking? Who are you mimicking? What unlived life are you avoiding?

“Know thyself” is a philosophical maxim that was inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo in Greece in the 5th century BC. It was by thinking, questioning, and exploring that the Greeks invented drama, philosophy, democracy, and Western civilization to name a few significant contributions.

Questioning and exploring ourselves is one of the most worthy pursuits of life. I hope these Bits of Wisdom help you along the journey of knowing yourself.

Remember, Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s. Their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

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“Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness.” Anonymous

What’s caging you? What have you been born into that’s limiting you? When I first discovered this quote, it hit me hard because I was born into an ideology that still affects me today. The process of being born and raised in an ideology is often referred to as domestication.

It’s important to understand that most of us are born and raised in some form of domestication. Governments, religion, education, clubs, cliques, and cults all carry belief systems their subjects are encouraged to adopt, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad; these systems become laws we live by. They can limit us and even cage us.

I recently took an acting class led by Christopher Tramantana, a professor at the NYU Tish School of Drama. Professor Tramantana teaches ‘clown’ among other forms of drama, but he is most interested in the ‘clown character.’ He shared why.

The clown is the ultimate creator; the unlived self. The clown has no shame, which is why he’s free to create.

His statement got me thinking about the boxes life tries to put us in and the way we willingly allow it, and even assist at times so that we can ‘fit in.’

When we begin to realize we’ve been domesticated, and on some level born in a cage, we can make adjustments to help free ourselves and begin exploring our unlived lives, begin trying new things, and gain our wings to fly.

Remember, Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness.

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“Nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning then this is it.” Charles Bukowski

Millions of people are drowning today, millions died yesterday and last week, and hundreds of millions in past years. Why? Because they were at war with themselves and didn't know how to overcome the battle within.

Bad luck, fate, karma, or something else has a way of barreling down on us at times. I recently met a man who suffered from a tree falling on his head. He was placed in a medically induced coma and underwent multiple surgeries to repair the damage; this took place over many months as he healed. I later found out it happened when he was bull-dozing trees. Was this man struck with misfortune or mistake? Who will ever know?

The misfortune we feel we’ve suffered is often no more than a series of bad decisions: to take another drink, or risk, or massage our pride or self-righteousness. These poor choices build up and eventually life reacts, and the choices avalanche upon us.

If we maintain a victim mentality, we will have a tendency to look at life as unfair or even chalk consequences up as bad luck, but the thinking person will see that life is an accumulation of choices that either pay off or bankrupt us. Of course, there is a middle ground, but this message is for the person suffering for seemingly no reason, unaware they are drowning themselves.

There is a common maxim in acting that states, “Never play the victim. It’s the weakest choice.” The same is true for reality.

Victims seem to have tragedy in their blood.

The man who left us the opening quote knows about drowning. He was an alcoholic, an abuser, and an all-around bad human until he realized at some point that:

“Nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning then this is it.”

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“Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.” Seneca

There’s great power locked up in this small statement. We should ask ourselves often, where are we headed? In what direction is our life pointed? What goal or dream or pursuit have we undertaken?

If someone were to ask, ‘What’s your major aim this year,’ could you answer? If we cannot answer this simple question, we may be lost in our direction.

A person without an aim to her life, is likely to end up adrift on a sea of distraction. We can get lost on a sea of distraction for years before we know what’s happened.

The wonderful thing about having an aim for our life, is even if we miss our target, we are closer than when we started, and when we look back, we see progress and purposeful ambition; this is fulfilling in and of itself.

Without a definite aim, it’s hard to see progress. Without an aim, our life begins to wander, and before we know it, we’ve wasted one of the finite resources we have.

Time and tide wait for no man.

One of the best ways to resolve this issue and find a definite aim, is to create one. You can develop a life mission, vision, and purpose statement, and these will give you something to point your life at. They can act as a compass when you become adrift.

Having a vision statement in life gives us a guide to navigate the myriad of distractions and pitfalls that often take us away from our purpose and prevent us from living a life of significance.

I’ll leave you with an example—my life vision statement. This small statement has helped me stay on track, especially when life has gotten tough and I felt discouraged.

Inspire those I love and the world through my faith, creativity, and writing.

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“Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.” Kevin Kelly

When was the last time you used your imagination? Did you know there’s power locked up in it? Power to invent, to bring ideas to life. Believe it or not, your imagination has the power to change the world, maybe not the entire world, but don’t count that out. It’s been done before by the likes of Jobs and Disney to name a few; your imagination certainly has the power to change your corner of the world, and maybe more.

Has someone else’s imagination changed your world, even if it was temporary? Have you been engulfed in the fictitious world of Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings? Have you slipped into the world of The Avengers in the last few years, or maybe you’re a little more sophisticated and enjoy being transported to the mid-1900s while watching The Crown.

The magical moment for me was when I watched E.T. the Extra Terrestrial for the first time. I was completely captivated by Steven Spielberg’s magical world for ninety minutes. Afterward, I had a desire to search for my own Extra Terrestrial.

Before television, families and friends would gather around the radio in order to escape into a different world. Before radio, we relied on books and theatre to tantalize our imaginations.

Leaving reality and escaping into someone else’s fictitious world is one of America’s greatest pastimes. This is the power of imagination; don’t discount it, and don’t forget that you have this power.

I’ll leave you with something uttered by the inventor of the theory of relativity, a man who had a profound impact on all of us, someone regarded as a genius of the 20th century. Albert Einstein left us with this simple statement,

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

Remember, anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.

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