Dear Divorce Diary - With Daz & Jop Podcast By Darren Mort-Family Law Barrister & Joplin Higgins-Family Law Solicitor cover art

Dear Divorce Diary - With Daz & Jop

Dear Divorce Diary - With Daz & Jop

By: Darren Mort-Family Law Barrister & Joplin Higgins-Family Law Solicitor
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When a relationship ends, it can feel like the world is breaking apart — legally, emotionally and practically. The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast exists to guide you through that difficult landscape with clarity, compassion and a child-focused mindset.


Each episode, Darren “Daz” Mort and Joplin “Jop” Higgins draw on their extensive experience within the family law system to unpack what separation and divorce really look like — not just on paper, but in real life.


They believe that families deserve dignity, children deserve protection, and adults deserve guidance that is calm, respectful and grounded in expertise rather than conflict.


Together, they explore the issues so many couples face when separating, including:

  • How to divorce with dignity
  • Understanding the family court process
  • What to expect in mediation
  • How to co-parent respectfully and consistently
  • Financial and property settlement — explained in plain English
  • Parenting arrangements after divorce
  • How to avoid court and resolve disputes constructively
  • Practical tips for separating parents
  • Child-focused decision making and emotional awareness
  • When to involve a lawyer or barrister
  • Better communication during conflict and separation


And because no two separations look the same, you can be part of the conversation.

Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Daz & Jop, with future episodes dedicated to answering real experiences, real challenges and real concerns from the people who need guidance most.


Whether you’re contemplating separation, navigating court, co-parenting, or simply trying to put your children first through the uncertainty — The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast offers steady, professional guidance to help reshape the path ahead.


Real law. Real families. Real conversations.


Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Darren Mort-Family Law Barrister & Joplin Higgins-Family Law Solicitor Parenting & Families Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Coercive Control in Divorce: When Does Conflict Become Abuse?

    Coercive Control in Divorce: When Does Conflict Become Abuse?
    Mar 20 2026

    Coercive and controlling behaviour is one of the most complex and widely discussed issues in family law today.


    In this episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law professionals Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins explore how this behaviour appears in relationships, how it is interpreted in the court system, and why it can be difficult to prove.

    Through an unscripted role-play scenario, Darren and Joplin demonstrate how two people in the same relationship can experience the same situation very differently.

    The discussion highlights how patterns of behaviour—rather than isolated incidents—are often the key to understanding coercive control within marriages and during divorce proceedings.


    What Is Coercive and Controlling Behaviour?

    The episode begins by unpacking the meaning of coercive control, a form of family violence that may not involve physical harm but can include psychological, financial, or emotional manipulation.

    Darren and Joplin explain that many people struggle to identify coercive control because:

    • It often occurs gradually over time
    • It may involve subtle forms of manipulation
    • Victims may feel constantly on edge or fearful without clear incidents of physical violence

    This makes the issue both legally and emotionally complex.


    Financial Control vs Household Budgeting

    A key discussion point is the difference between legitimate financial management and financial abuse.

    Joplin explains that setting a household budget is normal in many relationships. However, financial behaviour may become controlling when it includes:

    • Restricting access to money
    • Requiring detailed justification for everyday spending
    • Monitoring purchases in a way that undermines autonomy
    • Controlling access to government payments or income

    These patterns can lead to a situation where one partner loses financial independence.


    Patterns of Behaviour in Family Law

    Both Darren and Joplin emphasise that coercive control is rarely defined by a single incident.

    Instead, courts typically look for:

    • Repeated behaviours over time
    • A pattern that demonstrates power or dominance
    • Conduct that creates fear, dependence, or restriction for the other partner

    Understanding this pattern is essential for lawyers when preparing cases and presenting evidence.


    Challenges in Proving Coercive Control

    One of the biggest challenges in family law is proving coercive behaviour in court.

    Unlike physical violence, coercive control often leaves little physical evidence. Instead, it may rely on:

    • Personal accounts of behaviour
    • Recorded communications
    • Financial records
    • Witness testimony
    • Patterns of conduct over time

    Because of this, lawyers must spend significant time building a detailed background history of the relationship.


    This episode provides valuable insight into one of the most debated and evolving areas of family law.

    Important takeaways include:

    • Coercive control often involves patterns of behaviour rather than single incidents
    • Financial management can become problematic when it restricts autonomy or independence
    • Evidence of coercive behaviour requires detailed documentation and legal preparation
    • Context and relationship dynamics are critical when assessing allegations

    As Darren and Joplin highlight, coercive control is a complex legal and social issue, and understanding it requires careful examination of both personal experiences and legal standards.


    Follow & Subscribe

    If you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.

    Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).


    Real law. Real families. Real conversations.

    Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show more Show less
    11 mins
  • When Financial Information Is Hidden in a Divorce

    When Financial Information Is Hidden in a Divorce
    Mar 13 2026
    Money can become one of the most confusing and confronting aspects of separation and divorce.In this episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law experts Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor) unpack the importance of financial literacy when navigating property settlements.They explore why many people (particularly women) enter divorce proceedings with little understanding of their financial position, and why gaining clarity around assets, debts, and superannuation is critical before negotiating a settlement.From balance sheets and disclosure obligations to mediation preparation and superannuation splits, this episode provides practical insights into how financial transparency shapes fair outcomes in family law matters.What Is Financial Literacy in Divorce?Darren and Joplin begin by explaining the concept of financial literacy and why it becomes a critical issue during separation.Many people move through relationships with one partner managing most of the finances, which can leave the other partner unaware of:Bank accountsDebtsInvestmentsSuperannuationLoans or liabilitiesWhen separation occurs, this lack of awareness can create significant stress and uncertainty.The Balance Sheet: Understanding the Asset PoolOne of the first steps in a property settlement is creating a balance sheet that lists the entire financial position of the relationship.This typically includes:Real estate and propertyBank accountsCredit cards and loansSuperannuationShare portfoliosVehicles, boats or other major assetsJoplin explains that many clients are surprised by what appears on the balance sheet, particularly when they discover debts or accounts they didn’t know existed.When Financial Information Is HiddenDarren and Joplin discuss situations where one partner restricts access to financial documents or accounts.Examples may include:Locked financial recordsUnexplained bank transfersUnknown credit cards or debtsLimited access to financial information during the relationshipWhile this behaviour does not always amount to financial abuse, it can sometimes indicate controlling or obstructive behaviour that may become relevant in legal proceedings.Understanding Superannuation in DivorceSuperannuation is often one of the largest assets in a marriage, yet many people know little about how it works in property settlements.Darren and Joplin discuss:Obtaining accurate superannuation balancesUsing court forms to request updated super informationThe difference between standard funds and defined benefit schemesDefined benefit funds—often found in sectors such as police, defence, or emergency services—can require special valuation methods.The Role of Consent OrdersIf an agreement is reached, it can be formalised through Consent Orders, which are submitted to the court for approval.The court must determine whether the agreement is “just and equitable” before making it legally binding.This ensures that property settlements reflect a fair division of assets and liabilities.This episode highlights the critical importance of understanding your finances during a relationship and particularly during separation.Important lessons include:Know your financial positionMaintain access to financial recordsUnderstand your assets and liabilitiesSeek legal advice before negotiating settlementsEnsure agreements are properly documented and approved by the courtFinancial literacy can significantly impact the fairness, efficiency, and outcome of divorce proceedings.Follow & SubscribeIf you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show more Show less
    15 mins
  • Breaking Family Court Orders: The Consequences Parents Don’t Expect

    Breaking Family Court Orders: The Consequences Parents Don’t Expect
    Mar 13 2026
    What happens when someone simply ignores Family Court orders?In this episode, Darren and Joplin unpack one of the most frustrating situations in family law: when a parent refuses to comply with parenting orders or consent orders. They discuss what the law says, what practical options exist for the parent doing the right thing, and why non-compliance can create serious consequences - particularly for children caught in the middle.The conversation also explores whether the current legal tools for enforcing orders are effective, and why some legal processes may be more costly and time-consuming than people expect.Darren and Joplin cover a wide range of issues surrounding breaches of Family Court orders, including:What court orders actually meanWhy parenting orders and consent orders are legally bindingThe expectation that court orders must be followedThe consequences when someone deliberately ignores themWhat to do when orders aren’t followedThe typical first step: lawyers sending formal letters requesting complianceWhen and how a contravention application may be filedWhy these applications can become complex and expensiveContravention proceedings explainedHow these matters are treated as civil proceedings with potential criminal sanctionsThe steps involved, including mediation and court processesWhy Darren believes contravention applications are sometimes ineffectiveAlternative approachesWhy enforcement proceedings may sometimes be a faster or more flexible optionHow courts may address repeated breaches or ongoing conflictThe Impact on ChildrenA key theme in the discussion is how non-compliance with court orders affects children.Darren and Joplin discuss:The emotional pressure placed on children when parents refuse to cooperateHow children may feel caught between parentsWhy compliance with orders is essential for maintaining stability in children’s livesThey also explore the difficult situations that arise when teenagers begin expressing their own preferences about time with each parent.When Kids Get OlderAs children move into their teenage years, family dynamics can change.Topics discussed include:Whether parenting orders should remain rigid when children are olderThe growing importance of a child’s voice in family law mattersHow parents can responsibly communicate about changing needs and schedulesThe Role of MediationThroughout the episode, Darren and Joplin emphasise the value of mediation as a tool for resolving disputes.They discuss:When mediation may help resolve parenting issues before returning to courtChild-inclusive mediation and how it can help give children a voiceThe importance of parents being willing to listen and compromisePractical Parenting InsightThe episode concludes with a discussion about maintaining meaningful relationships with children in separated families.Darren shares the value of spending one-on-one time with children, allowing parents to better understand:How their children are feelingTheir evolving needs and social livesHow parenting arrangements are working from the child’s perspectiveCourt orders exist to provide clarity, structure, and stability for families after separation. When those orders are ignored, it can lead to costly legal battles and emotional strain—particularly for children.As Darren and Joplin highlight, the best outcomes usually come when parents communicate openly, remain child-focused, and use mediation wherever possible.Follow & SubscribeIf you’re navigating separation, parenting arrangements, or family court processes, Dear Divorce Diary offers real conversations and practical insights from experienced family law professionals.Follow, like, and subscribe to stay up to date with upcoming episodes featuring Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor).Real law. Real families. Real conversations.Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show more Show less
    13 mins
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