Episodes

  • LTN 24 - Limited Bandwidth

    LTN 24 - Limited Bandwidth
    Mar 19 2026
    Sponsor promo for MyEternalVitality.com and Dr Powers offering $100 off hormone evaluation and blood testing Discussion of hormone replacement therapy improving energy, libido, sleep, and overall quality of life Mention of gut health testing and identifying foods that trigger inflammation Dan plans to begin a gut health regimen after recovering from hip surgery Introduction to the Love Thy Neighbor relationship show with Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr Conversation about manners and Dan's Southern upbringing expecting men to let women enter first Invitation for listeners to email relationship questions to hello@lovethyneighborshow.com Hosts promise listener submissions will remain anonymous Listener email about tension caused by a spouse frequently expressing negative daily commentary Husband describes himself as an optimistic personality who assumes everything is fine Wife framed as focusing more on frustrations and problems in everyday situations Husband feels drained and anxious hearing frequent negative comments Husband internalizes his wife's venting as problems he must solve Wife explains she wants to express feelings rather than have problems fixed Husband tracked a week of conversations and estimated 68 percent were negative Wife responds that keeping score of comments is unreasonable Listener couple has been together for 26 years Therapist explains both partners can have valid perspectives simultaneously Couples often argue about wording or evidence instead of emotional impact Explanation that negativity bias is natural in the human brain as a survival trait Advice to communicate about emotional bandwidth before venting Suggestion to ask if the other partner has space to listen first Importance of balancing one partner's need to vent with the other's mental energy Emphasis that neither partner is wrong but communication boundaries are needed Joke about rounding the negativity percentage to 69 percent for comedy Discussion of switching between problem solving mode and listening mode in conversations Turning off the urge to solve problems can reduce emotional exhaustion while listening Some people naturally internalize others' emotions more strongly than others Upbringing and family roles can influence a person's urge to fix problems Spouses sometimes look overwhelmed while waiting for venting to end Reminder that partners are not responsible for solving every emotional problem Some people process emotions externally and need to talk things out Both partners' emotional needs and limits matter in conversations Emotions can be contagious and repeated negativity can affect listeners Partners can set boundaries when they lack energy to listen Joke about hiring someone else to listen to venting like a therapist Spouses can unintentionally become each other's emotional dumping ground Listening deeply requires more emotional energy than talking Importance of balancing emotional sharing to avoid overwhelming a partner Example of business owners venting work stress to spouses Suggestion to share general stress instead of long detailed rants Partners may feel overwhelmed hearing repeated work complaints Strategy of postponing discussions until both partners have energy Empathic people may absorb others' stress strongly Mirror neuron responses can cause emotional absorption from others Therapists learn emotional boundaries to avoid carrying clients' problems home Advice to remind yourself another person's problems are not yours to carry Encouragement to communicate personal limits without guilt Setting boundaries may disappoint someone but is still healthy Failure to set boundaries can lead to codependency and resentment Difficult conversations often start when partners are tired or hungry Hangry moods can make emotional discussions worse Advice to avoid serious talks when tired, drunk, or texting Emotional conversations require tone and context that texting lacks Warning that waiting for the perfect moment can become avoidance Communication compared to ping pong where partners check timing and reschedule Relationship communication improves through repeated practice like building muscle Start practicing vulnerability with small issues first Focus on expressing personal feelings rather than attacking a partner Positive responses reinforce healthy communication habits New listener email asks what personal information should be disclosed when dating Discussion about timing and context for revealing sensitive personal information Sexually transmitted diseases must be disclosed before physical intimacy STD discussion on a first date may not be necessary unless sex is involved Serious legal issues like domestic violence should be disclosed early Major life factors like children or divorce should be shared early Honesty about personal issues builds trust and emotional safety in dating Strategy of revealing flaws early so partners can choose...
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    43 mins
  • LTN 23 - Vulnerability

    LTN 23 - Vulnerability
    Mar 12 2026
    Introduction to the Love Thy Neighbor relationship show with Dan Dennis, Tom Vann, and Colette Fehr Breaking news discussion about Britney Spears reportedly being arrested for DUI Lack of confirmed details about the Britney Spears arrest including no mugshot or BAC yet Discussion of Britney Spears conservatorship and whether it was helpful or harmful Speculation that Britney Spears may still struggle without the structure of the conservatorship Therapist warning against diagnosing celebrities based on social media clips Discussion of the mental health impact of becoming extremely famous at a young age Idea that some celebrities emotionally freeze at the age they become famous Example of Bam Margera appearing stuck in adolescent behavior Discussion of how people can remain trapped in youthful personality patterns Colette playfully challenging Tom and Dan during the show Joke that listener ratings increase when Colette pushes back on the hosts Story about feeling out of place at Colette book launch event Event attendees praising Tom and Dan for humor and vulnerability Story about a dance mom praising Dan honesty about bedroom struggles Tom reflecting on how he behaves differently as a father versus on the show Realization that humor and playfulness bond better with kids than strict discipline Comparison between drill sergeant dad and fun dad parenting styles Reference to Shaquille O Neal strict stepfather as an example of tough parenting Discussion of balancing discipline work ethic and fun in parenting Colette describing her father as both serious and fun Dan remembering his father as extremely funny and valuing those memories Emphasis on humor as a powerful bonding tool between parents and children Discussion of fathers modeling both strength and emotional openness Colette explaining vulnerability as a core principle of healthy relationships Discussion of her book The Cost of Quiet and its ideas about honesty and openness Explanation that past trauma often makes people emotionally guarded Argument that authentic communication is natural human behavior Claim that practicing vulnerability improves life satisfaction and relationships Discussion of struggling to be vulnerable with family despite doing it on the show Recognition that practicing vulnerability publicly is still meaningful progress Explanation that some people avoid vulnerability due to unsafe childhood environments Discussion of cultural expectations that men should be strong and silent Debate over the claim that women punish men for vulnerability Therapist perspective that partners usually respond positively to real vulnerability Idea that vulnerability often creates emotional closeness in relationships Explanation that humans are social herd animals wired for connection Research claim that strong relationships predict long happy lives Discussion of the paradox of wanting connection while fearing rejection Fear of judgment arguments rejection or abandonment blocking emotional openness Idea that vulnerability invites vulnerability from others Analogy comparing emotional growth to iron sharpens iron Argument that emotional armor creates distance in relationships Introduction of Shaquille O Neal comments about never opening up to women Shaq claim that vulnerability is a trap that can be used against men Discussion of Shaq belief that women weaponize men emotions during conflict Background about Shaq biological father leaving and strict stepfather raising him Discussion of generational differences in emotional communication among men Observation that older generations of men rarely talked about feelings Personal examples of families where men never discussed emotions Debate over whether emotional silence among men is typical Explanation that emotional suppression has been historically common Discussion of what opening up emotionally actually means Examples of men admitting fear sadness or insecurity Observation that some men are naturally more emotionally expressive Therapist noting many male clients share fears about vulnerability Explanation that men often hide doubts and insecurities to avoid appearing weak Common fear that vulnerability will be weaponized later in arguments Idea that past betrayal or trauma shapes vulnerability fears Example of past infidelity affecting trust in later relationships Warning against projecting past trauma onto new partners Discussion of how upbringing shapes emotional defenses Speculation that Shaq fame and life experiences reinforced emotional guardedness Humorous aside about Shaq and his former wife height difference Discussion of emotional sharing as a core function of adult partnerships Example of business partners sharing fears and stress to support each other Claim that suppressing emotions cuts people off from relationship support Therapist explanation that fear of vulnerability is central in couples therapy Explanation of limbic system...
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    42 mins
  • LTN 22 - Dan and Shana LIVE

    LTN 22 - Dan and Shana LIVE
    Mar 5 2026
    Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor relationship show with Colette Fehr Dan Dennis present and joking about liking being called Dan Dennis Story behind Dan calling Tom "T" tied to Tom's late brother Tim New segment idea interviewing listener couples about relationships on Zoom First listener couple introduced Dan and Shanna Tom jokes about grading their relationship compared to his own marriage Tom rates his 18 year marriage a C+ Debate whether long marriages automatically mean successful relationships Colette explains longevity alone does not equal relationship quality Couple interview format introduced for relationship discussions Dan and Shanna explain they met nine years ago Their relationship has been long distance between Georgia and Florida Distance due to each having teenagers still in school Plan to live in the same city after kids graduate Discussion of challenges of long distance relationships Colette shares experience with a failed long distance relationship Couple schedules visits months ahead to stay connected They see each other most weekends or every other weekend Early relationship involved meeting halfway and staying in motels Story of how they met through Twitter/X after a podcast connection Attraction built through humor and online banter before meeting Physical attraction confirmed after meeting in person Humor discussed as a strong attraction factor in relationships Dan introduces Shanna to the Tom and Dan podcast Joke about couples not sharing the same podcast interests Discussion of issues when long distance couples finally live together Example of military couples struggling after living together full time Concern that weekend relationships avoid daily stressors Colette notes strong body language and connection between the couple Warning that daily compatibility can still challenge long distance couples Example of a long distance marriage collapsing after moving together Couple explains what makes them compatible They intentionally do normal daily routines during visits Normal annoyance after several days together described as healthy Discussion of couples who stay married but live in separate houses Trend of living apart together relationships among adults Example of couples maintaining relationships while living separately Cost and logistics prevent many couples from trying the arrangement Dan shares family tension between Andrea and Maisie after crafting together Andrea uses a go to your corners rule to cool off arguments Temporary personal space helps reset emotions during conflict Relationship advice about taking timeouts during arguments Reference to couples timeout concept from Colette's book The Cost of Quiet Importance of emotional regulation before continuing arguments Couple explains how they handle conflict and hard conversations Earlier arguments were intense due to stubborn personalities Communication improved significantly over the last three years Practice of letting partners fully speak and validating feelings Emphasis on listening rather than fixing problems immediately Some conflicts require understanding rather than solutions One partner self imposes timeouts to avoid saying hurtful things Therapist explains timeouts prevent damaging statements in fights Cooling off helps people return to a calmer adult mindset Words said in anger can permanently damage relationships Conversation shifts to sexual compatibility in relationships Question about how long distance affects sexual frequency Discussion of libido expectations in long term relationships Joke about having sex soon after hip replacement surgery Anticipation increases excitement before long distance visits Fear of rejection after expecting sex during visits Discussion of pouting or silent treatment after sexual rejection Admission silent treatment was previously used after rejection Partner explains the behavior causes emotional shutdown Pressure for sex reduces desire and intimacy Mismatched libido occurs in most couples Importance of compromise with different sex drives Couple tries to meet each other's sexual needs Story about spontaneous sex in airport and airplane bathrooms Therapist observes strong chemistry between the couple Importance of maintaining sexual connection over time Advice to discuss sexual desires and fantasies openly Many people feel uncomfortable discussing sex Long term couples must adapt as attraction and libido change Hormones and emotional connection influence sexual desire Importance of communicating sexual preferences and concerns Emotional intimacy strongly affects sexual desire Dan reflects on past arguments about mismatched libido Expecting sex to happen naturally caused frustration Directly asking for intimacy can be healthier than passive anger Debate between spontaneous romance and directly asking for sex Initiating sex requires vulnerability and risk of rejection Couples often expect ...
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    44 mins
  • LTN 21 - Morgan & Leo

    LTN 21 - Morgan & Leo
    Feb 26 2026

    • Love Thy Neighbor show intro with therapist Colette Fair

    • Discussion of book The Cost of Quiet on Audible

    • Characters Morgan and Leo overview

    • Leo emotionally distant provider father

    • Morgan carrying most parenting duties

    • Morgan reconnects with ex and has affair

    • Can emotional neglect feel worse than cheating

    • Immediate villainizing of the cheating partner

    • Gender bias in judging infidelity

    • Disconnection caused by poor communication

    • Affairs driven by emotional needs vs physical urges

    • Therapy sometimes labels one partner the problem

    • Increase in female infidelity cases in therapy

    • Emotional vs transactional cheating debate

    • Happy ending massage framed as non emotional cheating

    • Lack of emotion does not excuse betrayal

    • Emotional cheating may hurt more than physical

    • Some partners see any cheating as unforgivable

    • Confession scenarios and perceived threat levels

    • Emotional attachment viewed as most damaging

    • Reconnecting with ex online as emotional cheating

    • Boundary defined by secrecy from partner

    • Public shaming and social stigma examples

    • Women judged harsher than men for affairs

    • Many couples repair relationships after infidelity

    • Healing commonly takes years

    • Anger followed by willingness to work together

    • Kids love and shared life influence reconciliation

    • Affairs often symptom not sole cause of divorce

    • Long term neglect leads to seeking connection elsewhere

    • Self reflection emphasized over blame

    • Sexual dissatisfaction used as justification

    • Mutual blame increases toxicity

    • Therapy fixes dynamics not villains

    • Relationship treated as one unit

    • Betrayal examined along with prior issues

    • Listener worried about spouse close to ex

    • Trusting discomfort vs self doubt

    • Boundaries vary by comfort levels

    • Micro betrayals through texting and closeness

    • Calm boundary communication shows maturity

    • Conflict avoidance suppresses needs

    • Ignored boundaries require relationship decisions

    • Validate feelings even in disagreement

    • Relationship health over being technically right

    • Avoid tempting situations

    • Ongoing contact with ex seen as risky

    • Balance respect and jealousy

    • Express fears openly

    • Reactions often less severe than expected

    • Acknowledging fears reduces anxiety

    • Accept people instead of trying to change them

    • Evaluate staying after honest communication

    • Therapy and medication support during crises

    • Antidepressants reduce anxiety and conflict

    • Personal experiences using medication in grief

    • Destigmatizing mental health treatment

    • Closing promotion of The Cost of Quiet

    ###

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    Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1
    Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990)
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    35 mins
  • LTN 20 - Annoyances

    LTN 20 - Annoyances
    Feb 19 2026

    • Coordinated show opening banter

    • Colette forgets makeup and panics before recording

    • Tom provides emergency mascara from truck kit

    • Nearly hitting Colette in the parking lot while distracted

    • Busy schedules and constant business work

    • Mascara as minimum presentable look

    • Keeping emergency makeup at the studio

    • Expired mascara and pink eye risk

    • Previous emergency makeup stored in Tom vehicle

    • Fear spouse learns another woman used the makeup

    • Jokes about trust and jealousy over shared items

    • Hiding the incident and trusting audience not to tell

    • Transition into long term relationship fatigue

    • Working together increases irritation and familiarity

    • Everyone has annoying habits and blind spots

    • Over communication anxiety and being particular

    • Questioning logic behind stories and actions

    • Difficulty suspending disbelief in TV and media

    • Logic driven vs emotion driven perspectives

    • Emotions matter even when intentions were harmless

    • Apologizing without defensiveness

    • Listening to feedback to repair relationships

    • Need for space vs constant communication

    • Talking openly to maintain relationships

    • Taking criticism without immediate explanation

    • Attachment makes criticism feel threatening

    • Defensiveness driven by fear of losing connection

    • Amygdala hijack during arguments

    • Emotional expression varies even in same family

    • Personality wiring differences

    • Genetic and environmental influence on emotions

    • Emotions as biological signals tied to needs

    • Share feelings instead of yelling or blame

    • Validate emotions instead of fixing them

    • Science based explanation helps logical partners empathize

    • Emotional education improves relationships

    • Complementary strengths balance weaknesses

    • Traits that attract also annoy partners

    • Passionate vs logical intimacy differences

    • Humor about AI partners and sex robots

    • Arranged marriages lasting longer discussion

    • Unconscious attraction patterns in partner choice

    • Repeating family of origin relationship dynamics

    • Therapy helps change unhealthy attraction patterns

    • Self awareness over chemistry alone

    • Reconsidering tolerance for bad behavior

    • Promotion of relationship advice book

    • Audiobook narration quality discussion

    • Practical communication tools for couples

    ###

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    [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive)

    Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1
    Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990)
    Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s)
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    44 mins
  • LTN 19 - Chivalry Is Not Dead

    LTN 19 - Chivalry Is Not Dead
    Feb 12 2026
    Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor with Dan, Tom, and Colette Fair Playful debate over old school chivalry and introducing women Promoting Colette Fair podcast and her book The Cost of Quiet How traditional chivalry feels awkward to younger generations Southern manners like yes maam and holding doors Bathroom door mishaps lead to installing occupied slider sign Anxiety over helping women with heavy boxes Chivalry anxiety and overthinking polite gestures Debate: polite vs sexist door holding Observing fewer door holders in New York vs the South Chivalry as dating charm and intentional courting behavior Holding doors for everyone vs gender specific gestures Performative manners vs real respect Kids questioning equality and why boys should do extra Mixed cultural messages about equality and roles Preferring chivalry in marriage over strangers Helping with airplane luggage as practical kindness Metro dilemma over offering seat to marathon runner Safer approach: simply ask if someone wants help Generational divide over manners and equality Colette appearance on The Tamron Hall Show Airing details across ABC, CW, Hulu timing uncertainty SoHo studio experience and traditional TV production Other shows filmed there: The View, GMA, Kelly and Mark Live audience of 110 receiving her book Scale of national TV production behind the scenes Pre show nerves despite long media career All day anticipation anxiety before live events Calm once actually on stage or on camera Similar dread before hosting live beer fests Public speaking fear as herd survival instinct Exhaustion from recurring pre event anxiety Accepting that stage fear may never fully disappear Using self soothing tools from her book Live TV pressure as on call expert Feeling thrown off by unexpected questions Topic focused on mothers in law and difficult family dynamics Applying romantic communication tools to family conflict Mothers feeling threatened by sons partners Clarifying language around moving on from parents Self consciousness under studio lights Fear of underperforming on national TV Post show memory blur and replay anxiety Spontaneous audience applause as validation Rising trend of family cut offs via social media culture When cut offs are appropriate vs avoidance Emphasizing communication and boundaries first Personal hurt from longtime friend during book launch Temptation to cut off instead of confront Avoiding triangulation through mutual friends Questioning intent vs impact in conflict Accepting shift in closeness without drama Redirecting energy to reciprocal relationships Never give up mindset can prolong unhealthy ties Middle ground before full cut off Trust built through repeated repair attempts Deciding to accept relationship as is or move on Cultural narrative of sons leaving mothers for partners Anxiety among mothers of sons after marriage Advice: be warm and non judgmental to sons partner Avoid power struggles and control tactics Positive example of respectful mother in law relationship Tamron show featured repaired and permanent cut offs Tease: what to do when you are sick of your partner Book plug for The Cost of Quiet and audiobook praise Invitation for listener emails ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)
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    46 mins
  • LTN 18 - LIVE at The Cost of Quiet Launch

    LTN 18 - LIVE at The Cost of Quiet Launch
    Feb 5 2026
    Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor without Colette present Colette book The Cost of Quiet hits Amazon bestseller Audio from live launch at Mercedes-Benz of Maitland Professional production and full event program Feeling like misfits among polished attendees Jokes about BDM prize skunks chasing perks Being treated like novelty personalities at upscale events Riffs about fans spouses and addiction jokes Praise for Colette and continued collaboration Audiobook read by Colette and love of author narration Joke about alternate narrator Invite anonymous listener emails Colette gratitude to attendees and sponsors Book inspired by difficult first marriage and divorce Owning personal responsibility in conflicts Conflict avoidance as core relationship issue Quiet means avoiding hard talks not silence Fear of rejection driving suppressed communication Conflict framed as path to deeper connection Roadmap for regulation self awareness communication Self advocacy and empowered expression Writing easier than modern book marketing Growth through public speaking TEDx and new podcast Over 1000 books sold with traditional deal Push for presales and launch week visibility Sales about impact not profit Lessons made accessible and actionable Applies to personal and professional relationships Insights from the Couch podcast for midlife women Laura Bowman therapy focus on anxiety and midlife Menopause and perimenopause gaining attention Quiet quitting long term relationships Gen X women juggling careers parenting burnout Financial independence enabling divorce Women seeking deeper emotional engagement Emotional vulnerability key to saving relationships Rise of gray divorce led by women Self connected communication and inner mentoring Individual therapy healing underdeveloped parts Relationship with self as foundation Former office neighbors before podcast connection Humor bridging therapy and loud podcast world Love Thy Neighbor launched after guest spots Natural chemistry and balanced dynamic Humor engaging men in relationship talks Silent treatment and withdrawal as male patterns Work pressure limiting presence at home Traditional masculinity blocking vulnerability Tough guy persona tied to loneliness Regulate emotions not suppress or explode Podcast as informal therapy and growth space Praise for Colette work ethic and mission Charlotte McCullough licensed marriage therapist Media appearances on local news and TV shows Loneliness crisis inside and outside marriage Marriage cannot meet every emotional need Reciprocal friendships matter more than quantity Deep bonds over shallow surface contact Technology eroding in person community Men often lacking close friendships Balance togetherness autonomy and alone time Build friendships through small daily connections Schedule friendship time including Zoom hangouts Time limited prioritize loved ones Keisha Scott behavioral health and podcasting Guardian Recovery adolescent program Teen brain development and weak prefrontal cortex Social media nonstop comparison pressure Parenting pendulum from harsh to gentle toward balance Over parenting causing failure to launch Cost of quiet applied to parenting Avoiding discipline breeds resentment and risk Create safe space with real consequences Small communication tweaks transform parent teen bonds Teach expression alongside resilience Raise grit in a comfort driven world Teen mental health crucial for future wellbeing Initiate vulnerable honest conversations Difficult talks framed as care Change patterns by showing up differently Send safe signals to invite warmth Closing gratitude and call to apply lessons ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)
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    49 mins
  • LTN 17 - Levels Of Dependence

    LTN 17 - Levels Of Dependence
    Jan 29 2026
    Love Thy Neighbor relationship show intro Colette Jane Fair as therapist co-host Colette Jane Fair book promotion and name spelling Easier book access at thecostofquiet.com Jokes about bad spelling and confidence Florida cold weather shock and routines Comedy song about being too cold Comparing Florida cold snaps to northern winters Liking New York but not winter weather Extreme Florida temp swings vs gradual cold Relationship awareness from doing the show Relationship content as emotional homework Keeping relationships top of mind Social media pushing relationship advice Dependence vs codependence confusion Partnership as a co-pilot in life Long relationships starting young Dividing responsibilities over time Relying on a spouse for life logistics Fear of helplessness without a partner Everyday tasks revealing dependence Men becoming dependent on wives Healthy dependence vs unhealthy codependence Healthy interdependence concept Keeping individual identity in a couple Respectful disagreement as intimacy Codependency roots in addiction dynamics Losing self to manage others Enabling harmful behavior to avoid conflict Saying yes to keep peace Emotional support as normal reliance Overlap between healthy and unhealthy patterns Common codependency examples Mutual enabling in relationships Taking responsibility for another adult Codependency outside addiction like work Early coupling increasing codependency risk Childhood shaping conflict avoidance Carrying patterns into work and marriage People pleasing to avoid upsetting others Asking a spouse for things without looking Laziness mistaken for dependence Humor about shouting for items Unnecessary everyday reliance Asking for help as a signal of distress Seeking comfort through minor complaints Noticing and correcting attention seeking Normal desire for care without labels Habitual reliance for simple tasks Laziness vs codependence distinction Overthinking reactions instead of speaking Avoiding direct communication Fear of asking for personal time Anticipating rejection before talking Weekend trip example of codependence Managing a partners emotions Thoughtful timing vs manipulation Naming fear instead of control Saying dont get mad fails Inviting honest conversation Vulnerability creating safer talks Avoiding hard talks as core issue The idea behind The Cost of Quiet Using discomfort to enter conflict Extreme avoidance as codependence Learning to tolerate discomfort Honesty may upset others Growth and relationship work is hard Difficulty as a sign of value Short term discomfort for long gain Conversations ease with practice Reactions often less severe than feared Introducing the 777 relationship rule Weekly date nights Getaways every seven weeks Vacations every seven months Skepticism about realism Adjusting date nights for parents Dates as intentional time Vacations as presence and unplugging Accountability through scheduling Couple time vs family time Blurring lines with one child Risk of neglecting spousal bond Need for partner only time Difficulty choosing dates over family Date nights feel different than family time Novel experiences boosting attraction Activities without emotional connection Surface level relationships Emotional connection over activities Conversation quality over cost Meeting needs through kids instead of partners Life organized around children Disconnection after kids leave Gray divorce after 50 Quiet quitting in marriage Emotional neglect over years Marriage compared to client maintenance Losing connection without communication Taking a spouse for granted Shortchanging marriage for work or kids Presence over rigid rules Intent behind dates and vacations Valuing simple shared moments Low cost memories matter Anonymous listener email promotion Listener story about chronic pain and surgery Dreading holidays due to limits Setting boundaries for well being Family pushing unexpected plans Choosing honesty over obligation Family reactions and acceptance Relief from quiet holiday Empowerment from self protection Kind honesty with boundaries Tolerating disappointment without self betrayal Catastrophic thinking about conflict Recognizing worst case thinking Holding anxious thoughts lightly Avoiding obligations by default Rest needs mistaken for laziness Questioning if hard always equals good Growth discomfort vs unnecessary suffering Internalized shoulds Not all hard things are worth it Choosing based on need not difficulty Honoring personal limits Deciding by capacity and health Saying no due to health or injury Emotions as boundary signals Desire vs fear of disappointing Difficulty giving self permission Habitual yes saying Losing self through accommodation Identifying codependent patterns Prioritizing others at personal cost Belief that suffering is required Work as coping Emotional suppression as ...
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    46 mins