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Some of the most dangerous myths about suicide sound polite on the surface: “They were selfish,” “They did it for attention,” “If you talk about it, you’ll make it worse.” We push back on all of that with a conversation that stays human, specific, and real.

We’re joined by Kirsten O’Connor, an author from New Zealand and the mother of Kahlia, who died at 24. Kirsten helps us remember the full person behind the loss: a bright, musical, loyal young woman with a psychology background, close friendships, and a huge heart for others. We also talk about the part people miss, how someone can “present well” while living with depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicidal ideation, and how that invisibility can become a barrier to getting help.

Kirsten shares the layered realities that often sit underneath suicidality: coercive control and emotional abuse, financial abuse that traps families, the isolating impact of COVID lockdowns, and the devastating ripple effects of sexual assault trauma. We get practical about support, too: safety, medication side effects, therapy access, and why creative approaches like art therapy can help an overthinking mind find a new outlet.

We also spend time on what to say when you’re scared of saying the wrong thing. Asking “Are you feeling suicidal?” does not plant an idea, it can open a door. If you or someone you love is struggling, help is available. If you enjoyed this conversation, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find it.

Kirsten is the author of the book "The Year After Kahlia." It can be ordered through this link :https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-year-after-kahlia-kirsten-oconnor/1148894926?ean=9780473764609

Kristen also is the founder of This is Grief. More information can be found at https://thisisgrief.nz

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Ever carried so much for so long that you forgot what you want? That’s where our guest, Debbie Weiss, once lived: 40+ years caregiving for her father after a stroke, advocating for a son on the autism spectrum, and supporting a husband through mental illness and a terminal diagnosis. The cost was anger, exhaustion, and a quiet belief that life was happening to her. Then a 50th birthday trip cracked the script. If time was speeding up, she needed to claim a response—not just responsibilities.

We walk through the small levers that moved mountains. Debbie began with one simple commitment—show up weekly to a meeting—ditched perfection timelines, and built from there. Over three and a half years she lost 90 pounds, but more importantly, she proved that mindset beats mechanics. She reframed self-care from indulgence to necessity, set boundaries that stuck, and used the E+R=O formula (Event + Response = Outcome) to take back agency without denying pain. We get practical about sustainable habits, saying no without guilt, and how stress, cortisol, and comparison sabotage progress if you don’t design around them.

The conversation turns deeply human as Debbie shares writing her memoir while her husband was ill, and how journaling unearthed beliefs she didn’t know she carried. Listeners looking for the “how” will love her second book, The Sprinkle Effect, which pairs stories with exercises on perspective, belief, action, resilience, curiosity, and joy. We also explore an unexpected plot twist: a self-described “math girl” unlocking a creative surge—card decks, journals, and a children’s series—once she honored her voice.

If you’ve been stuck in survival mode, this story offers a way forward you can actually use. Subscribe, share with a friend who’s caregiving or grieving, and leave a review with the one boundary you’ll set this week. Your response can change your outcome.

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The biggest problem in schools isn’t disengagement—it’s relevance. We sit down with education leader and author Lisa Riegel to unpack NeuroWell, a practical framework that aligns brain science with daily classroom life so students feel safe, seen, and ready to learn. From belonging cues to behavior de-escalation, Lisa shows why culture design is the hidden lever for academic gains and healthier staff.

We explore how to build a true learning community: clear norms, student roles, shared rituals, and goal setting that give every learner purpose. Lisa explains emotional and intellectual safety—why routines, predictable feedback, and strengths-based language regulate nervous systems and unlock attention. We also talk inclusion that works for neurodivergent students by matching roles to strengths and creating frequent, low-stakes social practice through short “learning sprints” and positivity prompts.

Then we tackle technology and AI with nuance. Phones off can help, but the deeper fix is designing work that matters. If a chatbot can do the task, the task needs to change. Lisa shares ways to assess thinking, collaboration, and iteration by observing process, not just products, and how leaders can define graduate skills—critical thinking, empathy, communication—and backward map adult practices that reliably grow them. With teacher burnout high, we highlight how leadership culture, clear outputs, and consistent measures make change stick.

If you care about safer classrooms, stronger relationships, and lessons students remember because they matter, this conversation offers field-tested moves you can use tomorrow. Check out Lisa’s book NeuroWell on Amazon and connect with her via LinkedIN for workshops, book studies, or coaching. In addition, Lisa is also has her new book Aspirations to Operations: A leader's guide to making transformative change stick available on Amazon.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisariegel/

https://www.amazon.com/Aspirations-Operations-leaders-making-transformative/

https://www.amazon.com/NeuroWell-Applying-science-supportive-proactive

Enjoyed the episode? Subscribe, share it with a colleague, and leave a quick review to help more educators find the show. What’s one ritual you’ll add to boost belonging this week?

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