I am the ladder of Jewels for the Buddha’s descent from heaven,

I am the Buddha descending on the ladder down to earth

to offer compassion and the teachings, I am the beings

in each of the six realms of Samsara, who immediately

apprehend each other and are deeply stirred to awaken

I am receptive to a full spectrum of light. I am cross pollinated

by many wisdom teachings disseminated by the wise ones

who come and go like the wind, I honor all perspectives.

I appreciate all the various names that the one God-goddess

has acquired through time and human cultures

I am remembering the golden spine inside of its bony housing.

I always reside in the temple of my body. I make offerings of myself.

I made these offerings to him when he came to me here.

my protection is in discernment, discriminating awareness wisdom,

Padma family of the west, Lotus flower, Kali the red, Magdalena.

my protection is in the respectful honoring of my own unique needs,

in the filling out of my light body, in my protectors,

peaceful and wrathful deities, and Archangels with whom I share a vow my safety and protection and supreme peacefulness are

in the center of the mandala, the center of the four directions

in the center of the Merkaba shared with the Stone people

with attention the performance of automatisms,

actions that are unconscious, begin to fade and disappear.

so do thoughts and images, desires, and ideas, memories,

associations, similarities, and differences

freeing myself from the contracted reality that says

I just have trauma. We can work on that level, tend to it kindly,

we must, but even the heart and dakini bliss opening,

and inner sanctum of mind flooded with light,

can be experienced as suffering when we abide in samsara

The higher we go on the ascension spiral, the deeper we must travel into the underworld to balance the energies.

I do this, and I find him here, we have done this before

We have descended together, and we have risen up

through the pillar of light in my body and his,

into the heavens together before the altar of the holy of holies,

he does not want to make it real on the relative,

but that does not erase my remembering, my recognition,

I let him go, and I grieve, Everything else seems bland and uninteresting

I pray to find the color and sparkle of my own aliveness

without the taste of him. I am, I feel, I need,

I want, I speak, I move, I show myself in safety.

he spoke of the Nature of Mind.