Sebastian Korda is making like Gloria Estefan and coming out of the dark: in a career interrupted by injuries, Seb follows up his Delray Beach title by sending #1 Carlos Alcaraz out of Miami. Iga Swiatek’s frustration continues as her countrywoman Magda Linette packs her up; shortly after, Iga does the same to coach Wim Fissette. On the docket we’ve also got the Matosevic doping story, Danielle and Corentin (we’re way too old for this), a painful and hopefully temporary Body Serve ban, and an ASMR taste test of Vegemite - sure, a few months late in tennis terms, but whatever, we didn’t have Vegemite then.

2:00 Carlos out of Sunshine swing

5:40 Iga loses her incredible streak of 73 straight opening-round wins

9:40 Let them eat bagels: Arthur Fils is back!

14:30 Sorry, Leylah

18:45 Danielle et Corentin, you’re both doing A LOT right now

23:05 Marinko Matosevic’s brazen doping scandal

31:40 ATP schedule changes, in concert with the Saudi sports fund

35:15 Betting is a scourge and the players suffer

42:15 Our first (and last) ASMR segment

Indian Wells saw two new champs settling old scores – Sabalenka winning her first and upending a worrying finals trend vs. Rybakina, and Sinner flying under the radar to grab the title over the more headline-grabbing Medvedev. Daniil has managed to refashion his game without losing the old antics, including asking for (and getting) a confounding hindrance call – and no, I don’t feel bad for Jack. We talk about Mirra’s crashout, IW misplacing the Venus-Leylah wild card, my certified hater status, and Iga’s trajectory. Plus, James takes another quiz and we give our Letterboxd 4, just like the players did this week.

03:45 Aryna hit the I Will Always Love You drum kick and the rest was gravy

15:20 Jannik overcomes Medvedev in two tiebreaks

21:00 Medvedev had an interesting week, to say the least

26:35 Let’s not make “F*** you all” your new tagline

33:30 They lost Venus and Leylah’s wild card

38:55 Letterboxd 4

46:25 The Oscars

56:20 Not another quiz!

Sports and politics … it turns out they DO mix! A few dozen ATP players and staff are stuck in Dubai as a result of Trump’s attack on Iran, as the Mexican tournaments go forward without a hitch after last week’s unrest. On court, Medvedev wins a second Dubai title, Longhorn Stearns grabs Austin by the horns, Bucsa becomes the Spanish #1, and Darderi and Cobolli win Latin tournaments on two continents. For fun, James takes a tennis geography quiz and we do an extended diatribe (requiem?) on The Traitors.

1:40 ATP players and personnel stuck in Dubai

6:45 This is not a drill!!

9:00 The Ellison data-media-government-tennis empire

15:35 Craig Tiley is coming to America

19:50 Results: Dubai, Acapulco, Merida, Austin

31:10 They didn’t tell Stefanos you’re not supposed to talk about appearance fees

34:35 James takes a tennis geography quiz!

44:55 A Traitors diatribe