Attraction to Narcissistic Leaders, Women’s Power, and the Fight Against Going BackwardOn the Deconstructed Woman Podcast, Jojy welcome Sandy to discuss Adam Grant’s New York Times article “There’s a Cure for Our Attraction to Narcissistic Leaders,” using it to explore why narcissistic men can rise in corporate and political leadership while women showing confidence are often labeled negatively. Sandy recounts the difficulty of securing a small-business loan nearly 50 years ago as a woman, describing widespread dismissiveness from banks before Gloucester National Bank finally financed their artisan shop. The conversation links deference to domineering “bully” personalities to fear and low self-esteem, notes how some women still defer to husbands’ views, and critiques cultural attacks on women’s leadership and reproductive rights, including concerns about Roe v. Wade and “trad wives.” They emphasize women’s collaborative leadership style, the need for more women in politics, and appreciation for men who support women’s rights.00:00 Podcast Welcome00:31 Meet Sandy00:57 Narcissistic Leaders Topic02:43 Women and Business Loans08:47 Why Banks Said No10:15 Narcissism and Power11:58 Bullies and Attraction14:48 Women Following Husbands20:52 Women Leaders vs Narcissists24:16 Roe and Tradwives Backlash28:45 Fear of Women Independence31:40 Allies and Hope35:24 Wrap Up and Contact

Michele Heffron - Life Strategist

Life Strategist for Women in Transition

Voices of Women 2026

Jojy welcomes life strategist and coach Michele Heffron to discuss major transitions women face and the support needed to move through them with confidence. Heffron shares how her second divorce after years as a stay-at-home mom left her without a job, bank account, or stability, leading her to rebuild her life through nonprofit work focused on healthy vs. unhealthy love, domestic violence, and at-risk youth. After making costly divorce mistakes, she hired a coach, which inspired her to become ICF-certified in transformational coaching, divorce coaching, love coaching, and “Calling in the One.” She explains coaching as unraveling limiting beliefs, listening to one’s own voice, differentiating heart from head, and processing feelings to reduce fear, anger, shame, and blame, using her VIVID framework. They discuss transitions like career change, retirement, grief, and empty nest, examples of women starting new ventures later in life, choosing supportive advisors, her podcast and newsletter, and her upcoming Voices of Women Summit talk on reframing hard moments into growth assignments.

00:00 Podcast Welcome

00:31 Meet Michele Heffron

01:52 Her Divorce Turning Point

04:38 Finding Coaching Purpose

08:31 How Coaching Helps

10:53 Listening to the Heart

13:15 Feelings vs Emotions

17:30 Other Life Transitions

18:50 Client Success Story

23:27 Retreat Lessons on Dreams

26:52 Building Your Support Circle

28:48 Podcast and Newsletter Creativity

33:32 Voices of Women Summit

38:07 How to Find Michelle

Trauma Bonding: When Intensity Gets Mistaken for Love

Hosts Elisa Marie and Jojy of the Deconstructed Woman Podcast discuss the concept of “trauma bonding,” prompted by a New York Times Modern Love article about a relationship that ended in divorce after childhood traumas and unhealthy patterns played out in marriage. They define trauma bonding as an intense, addictive, dysfunctional attachment fueled by cycles of abuse, manipulation, and intermittent positive reinforcement, and discuss how shared trauma or attachment issues can be mistaken for passion and create dependency that makes leaving difficult. Alyssa contrasts trauma bonding with unconscious attraction to familiar traits (such as similarities to a parent), noting trauma bonding is often driven by intense emotional circumstances rather than foundational compatibility. The conversation expands to common relationship dynamics like trying to “fix” a partner, communication breakdowns, and how attraction can shift over time, emphasizing the importance of self-care, mental health, and therapy rather than expecting a relationship to resolve personal struggles. They also discuss a real-life example involving a long-term couple taking a unilateral “break” due to perceived dependency, exploring how such situations can be either genuine self-work or an excuse to leave, and how difficult uncertainty can be for the other partner. The episode closes by framing the topic as a starting point for listener reflection and inviting audience feedback and suggestions.

00:00 Welcome to the Podcast

00:27 What Is Trauma Bonding

01:28 Pop Culture Example

02:22 Definition and Cycles

03:49 Trauma Bonding vs Familiarity

06:59 Modern Love Case Study

08:59 Marriage Patterns and Communication

14:22 Healthy Conflict and Growth

17:32 Self Care Before Relationships

19:40 Real Life Breakup Scenario

23:05 How to Handle a Break

27:23 Wrap Up and Listener Invitation

29:19 Outro and Contact Info