Attraction to Narcissistic Leaders, Women’s Power, and the Fight Against Going BackwardOn the Deconstructed Woman Podcast, Jojy welcome Sandy to discuss Adam Grant’s New York Times article “There’s a Cure for Our Attraction to Narcissistic Leaders,” using it to explore why narcissistic men can rise in corporate and political leadership while women showing confidence are often labeled negatively. Sandy recounts the difficulty of securing a small-business loan nearly 50 years ago as a woman, describing widespread dismissiveness from banks before Gloucester National Bank finally financed their artisan shop. The conversation links deference to domineering “bully” personalities to fear and low self-esteem, notes how some women still defer to husbands’ views, and critiques cultural attacks on women’s leadership and reproductive rights, including concerns about Roe v. Wade and “trad wives.” They emphasize women’s collaborative leadership style, the need for more women in politics, and appreciation for men who support women’s rights.00:00 Podcast Welcome00:31 Meet Sandy00:57 Narcissistic Leaders Topic02:43 Women and Business Loans08:47 Why Banks Said No10:15 Narcissism and Power11:58 Bullies and Attraction14:48 Women Following Husbands20:52 Women Leaders vs Narcissists24:16 Roe and Tradwives Backlash28:45 Fear of Women Independence31:40 Allies and Hope35:24 Wrap Up and Contact

Michele Heffron - Life Strategist

Life Strategist for Women in Transition

Voices of Women 2026

Jojy welcomes life strategist and coach Michele Heffron to discuss major transitions women face and the support needed to move through them with confidence. Heffron shares how her second divorce after years as a stay-at-home mom left her without a job, bank account, or stability, leading her to rebuild her life through nonprofit work focused on healthy vs. unhealthy love, domestic violence, and at-risk youth. After making costly divorce mistakes, she hired a coach, which inspired her to become ICF-certified in transformational coaching, divorce coaching, love coaching, and “Calling in the One.” She explains coaching as unraveling limiting beliefs, listening to one’s own voice, differentiating heart from head, and processing feelings to reduce fear, anger, shame, and blame, using her VIVID framework. They discuss transitions like career change, retirement, grief, and empty nest, examples of women starting new ventures later in life, choosing supportive advisors, her podcast and newsletter, and her upcoming Voices of Women Summit talk on reframing hard moments into growth assignments.

00:00 Podcast Welcome

00:31 Meet Michele Heffron

01:52 Her Divorce Turning Point

04:38 Finding Coaching Purpose

08:31 How Coaching Helps

10:53 Listening to the Heart

13:15 Feelings vs Emotions

17:30 Other Life Transitions

18:50 Client Success Story

23:27 Retreat Lessons on Dreams

26:52 Building Your Support Circle

28:48 Podcast and Newsletter Creativity

33:32 Voices of Women Summit

38:07 How to Find Michelle

Trauma Bonding: When Intensity Gets Mistaken for Love

Hosts Elisa Marie and Jojy of the Deconstructed Woman Podcast discuss the concept of “trauma bonding,” prompted by a New York Times Modern Love article about a relationship that ended in divorce after childhood traumas and unhealthy patterns played out in marriage. They define trauma bonding as an intense, addictive, dysfunctional attachment fueled by cycles of abuse, manipulation, and intermittent positive reinforcement, and discuss how shared trauma or attachment issues can be mistaken for passion and create dependency that makes leaving difficult. Alyssa contrasts trauma bonding with unconscious attraction to familiar traits (such as similarities to a parent), noting trauma bonding is often driven by intense emotional circumstances rather than foundational compatibility. The conversation expands to common relationship dynamics like trying to “fix” a partner, communication breakdowns, and how attraction can shift over time, emphasizing the importance of self-care, mental health, and therapy rather than expecting a relationship to resolve personal struggles. They also discuss a real-life example involving a long-term couple taking a unilateral “break” due to perceived dependency, exploring how such situations can be either genuine self-work or an excuse to leave, and how difficult uncertainty can be for the other partner. The episode closes by framing the topic as a starting point for listener reflection and inviting audience feedback and suggestions.

00:00 Welcome to the Podcast

00:27 What Is Trauma Bonding

01:28 Pop Culture Example

02:22 Definition and Cycles

03:49 Trauma Bonding vs Familiarity

06:59 Modern Love Case Study

08:59 Marriage Patterns and Communication

14:22 Healthy Conflict and Growth

17:32 Self Care Before Relationships

19:40 Real Life Breakup Scenario

23:05 How to Handle a Break

27:23 Wrap Up and Listener Invitation

29:19 Outro and Contact Info

Stepping Outside the Comfort Zone:

Small Risks, Growth, and Joy

Hosts Elisa Marie and Jojy discuss the concept of the comfort zone and why stepping outside of it can support personal growth. Joji shares research (via ChatGPT) linking the term to behavioral psychology and stress, explaining that comfort zones involve familiar routines with low anxiety and predictability but limited growth. They emphasize that healthy change is incremental rather than extreme, and discuss how moderate stress can be the right level for growth. Examples include using weight training to push just past comfort, shifting exercise to a morning routine, and taking social risks like initiating a friendship. They explore barriers that keep people stuck—fear, avoidance, identity, guilt (including “mom guilt”), overstimulation, and other people’s expectations—and note that boredom or restlessness can signal an opportunity for change. Joji describes her personal update of going gray and cutting eight inches of hair, finding unexpected joy and confidence in trying something new. The episode closes by encouraging listeners to reflect on what brings them joy, make small changes, and reach out to share comments or participate in the podcast.

00:00 Welcome to the Deconstructed Woman Podcast + Today’s Topic: Stepping Outside the Comfort Zone

01:31 What ‘Comfort Zone’ Really Means (Behavioral Psychology + Stress Levels)

02:55 Pushing the Edge: Weight Training as a Comfort-Zone Metaphor

04:50 Self-Care, Anxiety, and the Fear of Trying Something New

06:26 Small Stress, Big Growth: Changing Routines (Becoming a Morning Exerciser)

09:17 Why We Cling to Patterns: Survival Brain, Identity, and Risk Avoidance

11:16 Barriers & Breakthroughs: Friendship, Worst-Case Thinking, and Taking the Leap

13:02 Boredom vs Overstimulation: Recognizing the Signals to Rebalance

20:05 Guilt and Expectations: Mom Guilt, Life Changes, and Owning Your Choices

22:07 Myths That Keep Us Stuck: Incremental Change, Fear, ‘Comfort = Healthy,’ and Confidence

26:06 Everyday Comfort-Zone Challenges: Hair, Style, and Going Gray

27:37 Going Gray Journey Update: The Unexpected Joy of a Bold Change

31:31 Final Takeaways + Listener Invitation + Closing

Savor the Moment

In this episode of the Deconstructed Woman Podcast, hosts Elisa Marie and Jojy dive into the concept of slowing down to enjoy life, particularly during the busy holiday season. They discuss the challenges of managing a chaotic schedule while trying to savor joyful moments, inspired by Matthew Kelly's book 'Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy.' The conversation explores themes such as work-life balance, decluttering one's schedule, and the societal pressures that contribute to a rushed lifestyle. They reflect on techniques like time-blocking, sharing household responsibilities, and the importance of being present, ultimately pondering how to make conscious choices to slow down and appreciate life more fully.

00:00 Introduction to the Deconstructed Woman Podcast

00:30 Discussing 'Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy' by Matthew Kelly

01:48 Joji's Perspective on Slowing Down

03:32 Balancing Family and Personal Time

04:36 Challenges of Slowing Down During the Holidays

05:45 Implementing Tips from Matthew Kelly's Book

08:52 Morning Routines and the Pressure to Rush

10:47 The Impact of Technology on Our Work Lives

11:51 Finding Joy in the Present Moment

18:38 Sharing Household Responsibilities

20:07 Reflecting on Life's Different Seasons

22:59 Productivity and Time Management

30:48 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Understanding Cancel Culture: Perspectives from Gen Z

In this episode of the Deconstructed Woman podcast, hosts Elisa Marie and Joji, along with special guest Tara, a college student, dive into the concept of cancel culture. Tara explains the origins, evolution, and implications of this social media phenomenon. They explore its impact on politics, corporations, and personal interactions, highlighting both positive aspects and potential drawbacks. The discussion also touches on the psychological effects on younger generations and the importance of having healthy debates. This episode aims to educate listeners, particularly those above 40, about cancel culture and its relevance in today's digital age.

00:00 Introduction to the Deconstructed Woman Podcast

00:30 Understanding Cancel Culture: A Conversation with Tara

01:23 Defining Cancel Culture: Tara's Perspective

03:00 The Political and Social Impact of Cancel Culture

05:22 Cancel Culture in the Age of Social Media

07:18 Real-Life Examples of Cancel Culture

10:53 The Psychological and Social Effects of Cancel Culture

15:40 The Future of Cancel Culture and Its Implications

34:48 Final Thoughts and Conclusion

Exploring Seasonal Affective Disorder: Symptoms, Solutions, and Personal Stories

In this episode of the Deconstructed Woman Podcast, Elisa Marie and Joji welcome guest Sandra Marshall to discuss the pervasive issue of the winter blues, also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Sandra shares her personal experiences with SAD, including her use of light therapy and relocating to sunnier climates. The discussion covers symptoms, potential treatments, and practical solutions such as light therapy, maintaining high vitamin D levels, and engaging in social and physical activities. The episode emphasizes the importance of seeking help and provides resources for those in need, aiming to destigmatize mental health conversations.

The Seasonal Affective Disorder Symptoms

00:00 Introduction to the Deconstructed Woman Podcast

00:30 Discussing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

01:08 Personal Experiences with Winter Blues

04:56 Light Therapy and Other Treatments

12:45 The Importance of Vitamin D

18:21 Exercise and Social Interaction

22:20 Travel and Escaping the Winter Blues

27:48 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Reflecting on Three Years of the Deconstructed Woman Podcast

Hosts Elissa Marie and Jojy celebrate nearly three years of The Deconstructed Woman podcast by reflecting on their journey, the topics they've covered, and the guests they've interviewed. They discuss the diverse issues they've explored, including women's health, mental health, aging, social media, AI, online dating, and intergenerational trauma. They also share their future plans, potential topics for 2026, and emphasize the importance of continuing to bring new voices and perspectives into their conversations. The episode serves as a retrospective and marks the anticipation of another year filled with insightful discussions.

00:00 Reflecting on a Year of Conversations

01:24 Celebrating Milestones and Beginnings

02:22 Highlighting Guest Contributions

05:00 Diverse Topics and Deep Dives

08:05 Listener Engagement and Personal Stories

11:50 Looking Ahead to 2026

17:51 Closing Thoughts and Future Plans