Do you ever feel like your teen doesn’t notice – or appreciate – anything you do? Do you wonder if your teen is becoming ungrateful?

You're not imagining it. And you're not alone. But clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen say what looks like ingratitude in teenagers is often something else entirely — and understanding what's actually happening developmentally can change how you respond to it and how you feel about it.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, they explore how gratitude develops during adolescence, why it often appears to disappear during the teen years, and what parents can actually do to nurture it — without forcing it or making it a source of conflict.

Rather than something we either have or don’t have, gratitude is both a feeling and a practice. It’s something that can be cultivated through small, consistent behaviors and perspectives.

In this conversation, we discuss:

• Why teens aren’t necessarily becoming ungrateful—they’re developing their identities and growing independence
• Why feeling less appreciated is a common experience for parents of adolescents
• The difference between gratitude as an emotion and gratitude as a practice
• How our brains are wired to notice problems more easily than positives
• The powerful role of modeling gratitude in parenting
• Simple daily practices that help build gratitude over time
• Why gratitude isn’t about forcing positivity

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 — Gratitude: What We Feel and What We Do to Build It

01:38 — The First Day of Spring Perspective

03:22 — Seeing Through a Positive Lens: The Echo Effect

05:42 — How We Feel When Our Teen Points Out Our Mistakes

07:19 — Is My Teen Ungrateful?

08:46 — Teens Aren’t Ungrateful — They’re Growing Up

10:43 — When Teens Grow Apart: Feeling Less Valued as a Parent

12:26 — Reminder: Change Behavior for Yourself, Not for Appreciation

14:40 — Gratitude Can Be Developed Over Time

15:42 — What Gratitude Really Is

16:40 — How Our Brain Works

18:25 — The Power of Gratitude

21:39 — Modeling Gratitude to Teach It

26:16 — Exercise: Taking a Few Seconds to Be Thankful

28:27 — Gratitude Isn’t About Forcing It

We also share a simple exercise that parents can use to intentionally notice small moments of appreciation in everyday life.

Teaching gratitude isn’t about demanding thankfulness—it’s about modeling a way of seeing the world.

If you’re parenting a tween, teen, or college student and wondering how to nurture appreciation without lecturing or forcing it, this episode offers thoughtful, practical guidance.

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Your teen just found out they didn't get in. You're watching them fall apart — and you're not sure whether to say something, give them space, or quietly panic yourself.

This episode is for exactly that moment.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen walk you through how to support your teen through college rejection — and more broadly through any major disappointment — in a way that validates their pain, builds their resilience, and keeps your relationship intact.

You'll learn:

• What to say (and not say) in the first hours after a rejection
• Why pushing perspective too quickly backfires — and what to do instead
• How to support a teen who doesn't want to talk at all
• When sadness after rejection is normal — and when to seek help
• How social media makes college comparison so much harder for teens
• Why community college and alternative pathways are worth an honest conversation
• How to manage your own parental anxiety so it doesn't spill onto your teen
• Why one admissions decision does not define your child's future

Disappointment is not the end of the story. Your teen's path is bigger than one admissions decision.

00:00 — Introduction: Why college rejection hits so hard
00:50 — What teens are actually feeling right now
02:14 — How parents can show up without making it worse
03:34 — Why we don't have to be afraid of pain and suffering
07:04 — How to support a teen who doesn't want to talk
10:11 — The case for a mental health day
12:20 — What's a normal reaction — and when to get help
17:31 — The cultural pressure surrounding college decisions
18:48 — There is more than one path to a great life
21:49 — How social media intensifies the comparison spiral
24:17 — Community college and alternative pathways
26:49 — One moment does not define your teen's future
27:33 — Why teens sometimes need to hear it from someone else
30:50 — Helping your teen accept disappointment as part of life

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What do you do as a parent when there is no solution to offer?

In this deeply meaningful episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen are joined by special guest Dr. Taryn Allen, a clinical psychologist with extensive experience working with children and families facing chronic and terminal illness in at the National institute of Health.

Together, they explore one of the hardest realities of parenting: supporting your child through pain, uncertainty, and suffering when you cannot “fix” what is happening whether that is related to physical illness, emotional pain, or life events.

Dr. Taryn Allen shares powerful clinical insight and practical tools such as:

• Why acknowledgment of pain and suffering is often the most important first step
• How to create a home environment that feels emotionally safe
• The “backpack” metaphor for carrying life’s hard realities
• What it means to “be the buffalo” and lean into the storm rather than run from it
• Letting go of the pressure to end every conversation on a high note
• How to adjust psychological support for kids with chronic or terminal illness

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 — When There’s No Solution: The One Step You Can Still Take

02:25 — Adjusting Psychological Support for Chronic or Terminal Illness

08:11 — The First Step: Acknowledgment

09:24 — Be the Buffalo: What It Means

11:36 — Leaning In: How Action Creates Space

13:56 — How to Support a Child or Teen Facing a Difficult Situation

17:46 — Shifting the Frame Away from “An Easy Life”

18:35 — The Wider Path Perspective

21:28 — Supporting Parents Managing High Anxiety in Tough Situations

24:33 — Creating a Safe Home Environment for Hard Conversations

26:41 — It’s Okay to Just Be Present

29:05 — The Backpack Metaphor

31:53 — Letting Go of the Need to End on a High Note

36:00 — Becoming More Comfortable with Discomfort

39:14 — Internal Statements Parents Can Practice

This episode reframes the goal of parenting from creating an “easy life” to helping children build the capacity to walk a wider path — even when it’s painful.

If you are parenting a child navigating serious illness — or simply trying to support your teen through a difficult season — this conversation offers grounded, compassionate, research-informed guidance on how to show up.

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is stay present.

Watch this episode here on YouTube

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