Countless Hues of Crimson Audiobook By Pip Ballantine, Tee Morris cover art

Countless Hues of Crimson

 Preview

Audible Standard 30-day free trial

Try Standard free
Select 1 audiobook a month from our entire collection of titles.
Yours as long as you’re a member.
Get unlimited access to bingeable podcasts.
Standard auto renews for $8.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Countless Hues of Crimson

By: Pip Ballantine, Tee Morris
Narrated by: Pip Ballantine
Try Standard free

$8.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $12.83

Buy for $12.83

From the writers of the Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences comes the erotic novel you haven't been waiting for.

Anastasia Brassingware is a daughter of English aristocracy, but her station has been brought low by her father's belief in ridiculous quick schemes. Now forced into penury, she must take any menial job.

A chance meeting with enigmatic pineapple merchant, Lord Heathcliff Redd, has changed everything. Drawn in by his brooding ways, the maiden discovers the pineapple merchant's darker pleasures, and technological wonders that do more than just core his tropical bounties with ease.

Take caution, dear listener. This is a novel of shadow, of desire, and of wanton lust. This novella is not a collection of standing orders for a clandestine organization within Her Majesty's government. No sir. No how. No way. Nowhere in this scintillating novel of erotic perversion are coded messages intended for agents that investigate the strange, the bizarre, and the unnatural. No. In this novella is good British smut, just the way God intended. This is the story of a wide-eyed ingénue innocent to carnal pleasures, a wealthy English lord with a pineapple fetish, and fresh fruit bending to their will.

No standing orders whatsoever.

©2017 Pip Ballantine and Tee Morris (P)2017 Pip Ballantine and Tee Morris Fiction Steampunk Literature & Fiction Science Fiction
All stars
Most relevant
I love Pip's voice and I like the Ministry or Peculiar Occurrences books. So I gave this a try. Hey, sexy cover, a hint at naughtiness, why not. Good decision. Funny, sexy, different. Mr. Pineapple? Steam powered spanking robot? I'll stop there.

An erotic hoot.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
i have always enjoyed thier stories , but this was a pleasnt step up! she has the voice of a temptress and this tilting tale was edgy and vicariously, totally satisfying . Thanks from all my stimulated parts .

another great listen

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You don't even need to have listened to Fifty Shades. Parody at its best. Biting but also entertaining in its own right.

A Brilliant Parody

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
This book lives up - or down - to it's reputation in the series. Bravo!!

Absolutely hilarious!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
per the quote in Dimond conspiracy about this book:
"a book no one in their right mind would read"
seems about right.

well..

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.