No More Mr. Nice Guy

A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Updated)

By: Dr Robert Glover

Narrated by: Dr Robert Glover

A Nice Guy, according to Dr. Robert Glover, a pioneering expert on the Nice Guy Syndrome, is a man who believes he is not okay just as he is. He is convinced that he must become what he thinks others want him to be liked, loved, and get his needs met. He also believes that he must hide anything about himself that might trigger a negative response in others.

The Nice Guy Syndrome typically begins in infancy and childhood when a young boy inaccurately internalizes emotional messages about himself and the world. It is fueled by toxic shame and anxiety. Rapid social change in the late 20th century and early 21st century has contributed to a worldwide explosion of men struggling to find happiness, love, and purpose.

The paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is driven by three faulty covert contracts. Nice Guys believe:

• If I am good, then I will be liked and loved.
• If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.
• If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.

The inauthentic and chameleon-like approach to life causes Nice Guys to often feel frustrated, confused, and resentful. Subsequently, these men are often anything but nice. Common Nice Guy patterns include giving to get, difficulty setting boundaries, dishonesty, caretaking, fixing, codependency, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, passive-aggressiveness, unsatisfying relationships, issues with sexuality, and compulsive masturbation and pornography use.

Since the publication of No More Mr. Nice Guy in 2003, hundreds of thousands of men worldwide have learned how to release toxic shame, soothe their anxiety, face their fears, connect with men, embrace their passion and purpose, and experience success in work and career. These men have also learned to set boundaries, handle conflict, make their needs a priority, develop satisfying relationships, and experience great sex.

This process of recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome allows men to move through:

• Depression
• Social anxiety and shyness
• Codependency
• Low self-esteem
• Loneliness and hopelessness
• Feelings of failure
• Lack of confidence and purpose
• Compulsive behaviors and addictions
• Feeling stuck in life

Contrary to what the title might seem to imply, No More Mr. Nice Guy does not teach men how to be not nice. Dr. Glover shows men how to become what he calls Integrated Males. Becoming integrated does not mean becoming different or better. It means being able to accept all aspects of oneself. An integrated male can embrace everything that makes him unique—his power, his assertiveness, his humor, his courage, and his mission, as well as his fears, his imperfections, his mistakes, his rough edges, and his dark side.

If you are ready to get what you want in love, sex, and life, No More Mr. Nice Guy will show you how.

©2000, 2003 Robert Glover (P)2017 Recorded Books

Critic reviews

“One of the best books I’ve ever read on men’s emotional health and development.”

Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and Models.

Practical guide for people pleasers

This book really resonated with me. It details many of the reasons and solutions for overcoming toxic shame. This is the updated version of the book. I’m not sure if the previous version had a pdf, but this one doesn’t. Tough to practically implement the recommended exercises without that.

So valuable. Not hyped up motivational BS.

So valuable. Not hyped up motivational BS. Easy to read. Practical. No fluff or pseudo spiritual mazes. Life changing... if you do the work.

So good!

So insightful and very eye opening, hard truths to face but are necessary for learning and growth! Really enjoyed this book and highly recommend.

Amazing!

This was truly, truly insightful! As a recovering nice guy, there couldn't have been a better resource available. Required reading for every man, since, although it's not mentioned, nice-guy-ness is probably on a spectrum; we can all benefit from this text!

Overall good book

I heard an interview with the author some years ago and didn’t get around to reading the book. The book over all is well done and I got many good points out of it. What I didn’t recognize years ago that I do today is the author is describing Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It seems he is dealing with the shallow end of the spectrum of the disorder and I’m glad if he can improve any one acting it out. A good read, I got some ideas for self improvement and it wasn’t what I thought it would be.