Attached

The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love

By: Amir Levine, Rachel Heller

Narrated by: Robert Petkoff

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship."
--John Gray, PhD., bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.

Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

• Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back
• Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
• Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

Attached guides listeners in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

*Includes a PDF of the attachment style questionnaire

Critic reviews

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship."
-John Gray, PhD., bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

"Amir Levine and Rachel Heller have written a very smart book: It is clear, easy to read and insightful. It's a valuable tool whether you are just entering a relationship with a new partner or-as in my case--even after you've been married 21 years, and had thought you knew everything about your spouse."
-Mariette DiChristina, editor in chief, Scientific American

"Attached is a fascinating and enormously useful guide to one of life's most important ventures-finding and sustaining a secure, satisfying love relationship. Based on twenty-five years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader."
-Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research

"Cinderella's prince passionately turned his kingdom upside down simply to find her perfectly shaped foot, and they lived happily ever after. This book is for the rest of us. Whether already in a relationship or prospecting, Attached is intended to coach the "you" part of "just the two of you". The authors have distilled years of attachment theory research on the nature of human relationships into a practical, highly readable guide, allowing it's users to prevent or untangle doomed relationships or predict and enhance those that will wear well and fit for a lifetime."
-John B. Herman, M.D., Associate Chief of Psychiatry and Distinguished Scholar of Medical Psychiatry, Massachusetts General Hospital and Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

"This book is both fascinating and fun. Attached will help every reader understand whom they are attracted to as partners, why, and what they can do to reach fulfillment in love. I enjoyed every moment."
-Janet Klosko, PhD., co-author of the bestselling Reinventing Your Life

"A practical, enjoyable guide to forming rewarding romantic relationships."
-Kirkus Reviews

Necessary for Anxious

This book is a lifesaver, and life guide, for anyone especially people with an anxious attachment. I will not lie: it was very hard at times to hear some of it because I have done them, but I feel like I have been told what I needed to learn and practice to help me date and interact with people better to meet my desires of having a partner soon or one day. Thank you for writing this book and sharing all of these tools with us and scenarios! The narrator is great by the way! ☺️

Don't think, do it!

This was so, so good. my therapist recommended this book to me, and it has my head spinning! (and I mean that in the best way possible). Half of the book I caught myself asking how did they know that?! I felt very seen and vulnerable as some of the book felt so terrifyingly relatable. My partner and I have very different attachments styles, and this book really opened my eyes with all of the advice and thoughts. This was the best book to start the new year to. 10/10 read/ listen to the book!

Best relationship book I've read

Almost finished the entire thing in one sitting. There are ridiculous amounts of books on relationships. They usually end up with "pray more, compromise more, don't give up!". This book helped me understand SO MUCH about myself and the relationships around me. 100% recommend. Will read again.

Insightful

I’m thankful for the tools to empower oneself to be true to ones needs without shame or guilt.

I’m shaken !

I wish , I wish I had listeners to this book not at 54 but 24! I hope it’s not too late for me , but I’m so glad I bought/listened to it now!!