Scared Selfless

My Journey from Abuse and Madness to Surviving and Thriving

By: Michelle Stevens PhD

Narrated by: Michelle Stevens PhD

“A riveting memoir that takes readers on a roller coaster ride from the depths of hell to triumphant success.”—Dave Pelzer, author of A Child Called “It”

Michelle Stevens has a photo of the exact moment her childhood was stolen from her: She’s only eight years old, posing for her mother’s boyfriend, Gary Lundquist—an elementary school teacher, neighborhood stalwart, and brutal pedophile. Later that night, Gary locks Michelle in a cage, tortures her repeatedly, and uses her to quench his voracious and deviant sexual whims. Little does she know that this will become her new reality for the next six years.

Michelle can also pinpoint the moment she reconstituted the splintered pieces of her life: She’s in cap and gown, receiving her PhD in psychology—and the university’s award for best dissertation.

The distance between these two points is the improbable journey from torture, loss, and mental illness to healing, recovery, and triumph that is Michelle’s powerful memoir, Scared Selfless.

Michelle suffered from post‐traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression, and made multiple suicide attempts. She also developed multiple personalities. There was “Chelsey,” the rebellious teenager; “Viscous,” a tween with homicidal rage; and “Sarah,” a sweet little girl who brought her teddy bear on a first date.

In this harrowing tale, Michelle, who was inspired to help others heal by becoming a psychotherapist, sheds light on the all-too-real threat of child sexual abuse, its subsequent psychological effects, and the best methods for victims to overcome their ordeals and, ultimately, thrive. Scared Selfless is both an examination of the extraordinary feats of the mind that are possible in the face of horrific trauma as well as Michelle’s courageous testament to their power.

Enlightening for victims of child abuse

Michelle's personal account of her abuse and healing process is not only informative, but healing. It helped put pieces of the puzzle together for me of my own PTSD from child sexual abuse.

I highly recommend this book if you have suffered child abuse or are close to someone who has. You'll find it enlightening.

love!!

love!!!! this book promotes self awareness, self love, self acceptance. it is a must read

A parent’s worst nightmare…

I am a mother who doesn’t trust anyone when it comes to leaving my child alone with an adult and/or teenager. Children are meant to have an actual pure childhood. They are innocent humans learning from those around them. It’s so important to protect your babies and to be their “safe place”. My heart broke for Michelle throughout her entire story but I was eager to know every detail of her abused childhood. A childhood that was stolen from her. She never had a “safe place” to run to. She only had herself and the fact that she survived through the absolute worst & was able to heal over time without the help of a professional psychologist makes this true story the most interesting and intriguing story with a heartwarming ending. This was an incredible audio book read by the author herself. I highly suggest every parent to listen to Michelle’s story in order to be an even better parent to your child(ren). Sometimes I don’t think I’m the greatest mom to my children because of my lack of patience. However, I know now that I’m an incredible parent to my little ones because although I’m not perfect, loving them, feeding them, bathing them and protecting them is my number one priority. Thank you for sharing your priceless story, Michelle. I’ve learned so much from you.

Hard to stop listening

Michelle Steven’s narrated her own story which is always the best way to get the whole story. As a teacher and a juror in a multiple molestation trial it made me think differently about people I encounter. It has made me a better listener and much less judgmental of the young people I encounter.

Horrifying and Riveting

What did you love best about Scared Selfless?

It was raw and honest.

What about Michelle Stevens’s performance did you like?

She was pure and unflinchingly honest.

Any additional comments?

This book haunted me but I was cheering her progress on the entire way.