The Course of Love

A Novel

By: Alain de Botton

Narrated by: Julian Rhind-Tutt

“An engrossing tale [that] provides plenty of food for thought” (People, Best New Books pick), this playful, wise, and profoundly moving second novel from the internationally bestselling author of How Proust Can Change Your Life tracks the beautifully complicated arc of a romantic partnership.

We all know the headiness and excitement of the early days of love. But what comes after? In Edinburgh, a couple, Rabih and Kirsten, fall in love. They get married, they have children—but no long-term relationship is as simple as “happily ever after.” The Course of Love explores what happens after the birth of love, what it takes to maintain, and what happens to our original ideals under the pressures of an average existence. We see, along with Rabih and Kirsten, the first flush of infatuation, the effortlessness of falling into romantic love, and the course of life thereafter. Interwoven with their story and its challenges is an overlay of philosophy—an annotation and a guide to what we are reading. As The New York Times says, “The Course of Love is a return to the form that made Mr. de Botton’s name in the mid-1990s….love is the subject best suited to his obsessive aphorizing, and in this novel he again shows off his ability to pin our hopes, methods, and insecurities to the page.”

This is a Romantic novel in the true sense, one interested in exploring how love can survive and thrive in the long term. The result is a sensory experience—fictional, philosophical, psychological—that urges us to identify deeply with these characters and to reflect on his and her own experiences in love. Fresh, visceral, and utterly compelling, The Course of Love is a provocative and life-affirming novel for everyone who believes in love. “There’s no writer alive like de Botton, and his latest ambitious undertaking is as enlightening and humanizing as his previous works” (Chicago Tribune).

Critic reviews

Advance Praise for The Course of Love:

“The Course of Love is a return to the form that made Mr. de Botton’s name in the mid-1990s…. love is the subject best suited to his obsessive aphorizing, and in this novel he again shows off his ability to pin our hopes, methods and insecurities to the page.” ­
–The New York Times

“The course of true love may not run smooth, but the storytelling certainly does in this wise, humane and irresistibly readable history of an appealingly nuanced relationship. De Botton deftly moves us through time, weaving in philosophical interludes that showcase his essayistic gifts, so that before we know it we have lived a whole life with these two, and they are just getting started. De Botton directs his ferocious intelligence at the most complex puzzle of all, and it seems that no intellectual or emotional problem surpasses his ability to solve it.”
—Matthew Thomas, New York Times bestselling author of We Are Not Ourselves

“The Course of Love is a complete delight. Not surprisingly, I feel that Alain de Botton not only wrote it for me, but also that we must have been conversing on these subjects happily and deeply, privately or in my dreams.”
—Amy Bloom, New York Times bestselling author of Away and Lucky Us

“The always-intriguing de Botton, who returns to fiction after 20 years and numerous nonfiction books, aims to answer the question, What is it like to be married for awhile? The answers are often funny but also quite moving, thought provoking, forgiving, and drenched in truth.”
—Booklist

“Well-observed and imbued with a tenderness that feels authentic and uncynical. It may even save some marriages. My bet is that if de Botton’s name were taken off this book it would be fêted by the sort of people who are in thrall to Milan Kundera and Adam Thirlwell. He wants us to feel less alone — and that’s not such a bad thing.”
—Evening Standard (UK)

Praise for On Love:

"The Romantic Movement sheds light on the nature of relationships...The method of telling much and showing little produces a good deal of wit, cogency, and humor."
—John Updike, The New Yorker

"A reader gets whiffs of Donald Barthelme, Julian Barnes, Woody Allen...De Botton borrows exuberantly, and well, from forebears [and] therein lies the buoyant charm of this approach."
—Lisa Zeidner, The New York Times Book Review

"Smart and ironic...The success of On Love has much to do with its beautifully modeled sentences, its wry humor, and its unwavering deadpan respect for the reader's intelligence."
—Francine Prose, The New Yorker

Perspective and Possibly Life- Altering

Disappointment in romance and love is inevitable in marriage. That's de Botton's bottom line, and he makes the case elegantly, cogently and even humorously. I loved this book and will be recommending it to any friends who will listen, married and unmarried. I'll also be reading more by this author, who is truly brilliant. Narration was perfect and somehow the narrator (working with great material) made a serious and sobering realization fun.

A step in the right direction

As the generations pass we will improve our understanding of ourselves. We will build tools to help us introspect and communicate so that we can live in ways that are more connected and resonant with what's actually going on with us, and the world.

This book is another step towards that future. Thank you for your work Alain de Botton, but also keep in mind this multi-generational arc. While it is important to come to terms with how things are, it is only with an eye towards how things could be that we can write books like this one, and over time improve the situation for ourselves and for our children.

excellent

My boyfriend and I have read and recommended this book to multiple couples it is a great read, but more importantly an essential one.

Heart touching

The story is written in such a way that you can relate to it as this is the story repeated countless times each day around you.

I’m conflicted about this book

There were some parts that I thought were really insightful and that I loved, like being open to continually learning from one’s partner and the authors thoughts on parenting, for example. I read this book because I recently got engaged and was interested in learning about how to sustain love during slumps, but I felt like most of the concepts presented were common sense and geared toward people with significant relationship issues. It was also hard to relate because Rabih and Kirsten seem like an absolute disaster, both lacking in the most basic communication skills. And Rabih seemed bordering on verbally abusive. And I was so disappointed that there was infidelity in this book. OF COURSE a man wrote this book with a sympathetic stance toward infidelity. Like, no, some people that cheat are just selfish assholes that just simply don’t give a shit about their partner and it’s not because they are somehow deeply wounded by their partner. He also completely misses the contradiction he poses: in the beginning he talks about sex as a feeling of mutual acceptance that we crave from others and that is entirely predicated on trust, but turns around and equates sex to exercise. Also, I was surprised the author blamed Kirsten for not listening to Rabih’s sexual fantasies about other women. If my partner did that I would be SO uncomfortable and hurt. Rant over. Overall, I liked the book, but the infidelity took up way too much of the book and was logically inconsistent with most of the book.