Why Did You Stay?: The instant Sunday Times bestseller

A memoir about self-worth

By: Rebecca Humphries

Narrated by: Rebecca Humphries

'Fierce. Game-changing. Urgently necessary. Brilliant, brilliant and did I say brilliant?' EMMA THOMPSON
'Pacy, vivid, compelling and very, VERY funny ... it will help so many' MARIAN KEYES
'A fucking classic. Required reading for all women and men and I believe it's going to be the book of 2022' BRYONY GORDON
'Fuck, this is good. Every page feels important' LUCY VINE


Actor, writer and hopeless romantic Rebecca Humphries had often been called crazy by her boyfriend. But when paparazzi caught him kissing his Strictly Come Dancing partner, she realised the only crazy thing was believing she didn't deserve more.

Forced into victimhood by the story, Rebecca chose to reclaim her power, posting her thoughts on social media, including advice for other women who might be experiencing what she realised she'd managed to escape: a toxic, oppressive relationship. A flood of support poured in, but amongst the well-wishes was a simple question with an infinitely complex answer: 'If he was so bad, why did you stay?'

Empowering, unflinching and full of humour, this book takes that question and owns it. Using her relationship history, coming of age stories and experiences since the scandal during Strictly, Rebecca explores why good girls are drawn to darkness, whether pop culture glamourises toxicity, when a relationship 'rough patch' becomes the start of a destructive cycle, if women are conditioned for co-dependency, and - ultimately - how to reframe disaster into something magical.

'The best [book] about relationships since Three Women' CAROLINE SANDERSON, THE BOOKSELLER
'So funny and heart-breaking. So stunningly written. For any woman who has been asked 'why did you stay?', Rebecca Humphries' book is a hilarious and brilliant read' SUSAN WOKOMA
'Very, very good' PANDORA SYKES
'A magical, magical book' GLAMOUR
'So thoughtful and moving and funny and sad and great, I love it so, so much. I resented having to put it down' DAISY BUCHANAN
'Her thought-provoking story should be required reading for anyone in a relationship' DAILY MIRROR
'A memoir every woman needs to read' RED MAGAZINE
'This book isn't an ice-cold revenge opus; it's a diary of self-discovery, a celebration of friendship, resilience and finding one's self-worth...is it worth the hype? Absolutely: I had to stop myself from reading it one grateful gulp' LAURA PULLMAN, STYLE ©2022 Rebecca Humphries

Critic reviews

Her thought-provokingstory should be required readingfor anyone in a relationship

Brilliant, universal writing on toxic relationships and heartbreak. A Heart Shaped Bullet for the modern age (Jenny Colgan)

This book isn't an ice-cold revenge opus; it's a diary of self-discovery, a celebration of friendship, resilience and finding one's self-worth...is it worth the hype? Absolutely: I had to stop myself from reading it one grateful gulp

The best [book] about relationships since Three Women [...] Set to be this year's summer smart female read for women of all ages

Why Did You Stay? is anything but a simple question, and Humphries is nothing if not comprehensive in her answer - but she is also funny, tender and wise

A memoir every woman should read ... a frank, funny and sometimes confronting deep dive into why so many women mistake controlling relationships with toxic men as what they think love should be

Fierce. Game-changing. Urgently necessary. Brilliant, brilliant and did I say brilliant?

Pacy, vivid, compelling and very, VERY funny ... it will help so many

A fucking classic. Required reading for all women and men and I believe it's going to be the book of 2022

Fuck, this is good. Every page feels important

So funny and heart-breaking. So stunningly written. For any woman who has been asked 'why did you stay?', Rebecca Humphries' book is a hilarious and brilliant read

Very, very good

A magical, magical book

So thoughtful and moving and funny and sad and great, I love it so, so much. I resented having to put it down

Her thought-provoking story should be required reading for anyone in a relationship

When I love a book, I want to talk to the person and this was fantastic...I know women are going to recognise themselves in here, or their best friend, or their mother, their sister

A funny, brave and honest book that will change lives. I have not stopped talking about it

An extraordinary memoir ... Unflinching and often very funny, it's a diary of self-discovery, an account of finding one's self-worth, a celebration of resilience and a hymn to the value of friendship

A really important book that I think loads of men should read so we can better understand the things we do, whether by accident or by design

Brilliant, universal writing on toxic relationships and heartbreak. A Heart Shaped Bullet for the modern age

I feel seen

I completely related to this book. I have never felt more seen by a stranger's similar experience.

Makes me feel that I am not alone

Details included in this book make me recognize them in my toxic relationship. Thank you for the reminder and for allowing me to a knowledge them. =^(

Gist is Good, too long

Having survived a traumatic relationship, a lot it made sense and was right on, but there was a lot of rambling and TMI

Awesome read! helpful!

I'm very happy I read this book. although it is a little long I could not put it down. the inside on being emotionally abused was very overwhelming for me. I am so grateful that I am not alone. I am so grateful to know there are others out there experience what I have went through. thank you Rebecca!

Important and Entertaining

Since I'm American, I wasn't familiar with either Rebecca Humphries or her boyfriend (yes I Googled to find out his name), But that doesn't matter. She illustrates beautifully and with both humor and insight the classic toxic relationship. Highly recommend.