Why Have Kids?

A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness

By: Jessica Valenti

Narrated by: Emily Beresford

In Why Have Kids?, Valenti explores these controversial questions through on-the-ground reporting, startling new research, and her own unique experiences as a mom. She moves beyond the black and white “mommy wars” over natural parenting, discipline, and work-life balance to explore a more nuanced reality: one filled with ambivalence, joy, guilt, and exhaustion.

Would-be parents must navigate the decision to have children amidst a daunting combination of cultural expectations and hard facts. And new parents find themselves struggling to reconcile their elation with the often exhausting, confusing, and expensive business of child care. When researchers for a 2010 Pew study asked parents why they decided to have their first child, nearly 90 percent answered, for “the joy of having children”. Yet nearly every study in the last 10 years shows a marked decline in the life satisfaction of those with kids. Valenti explores this disconnect between parents’ hopes and the day-to-day reality of raising children - revealing all the ways mothers and fathers are quietly struggling. A must-listen for parents as well as those considering starting a family, Why Have Kids? is an explosive addition to the conversation about modern parenthood.

©2012 Jessica Valenti (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

It is a good start

It covers very important points on the difficulties of becoming a mother, very eye opening, a good start for anyone looking into the motherhood journey or the childfree life. Even though the information is relevant in my case I was expecting for the author to clearly answered the question it titles. Why to have kids? I don't think she did.

This book convinced me to get a vasectomy ASAP

What made the experience of listening to Why Have Kids? the most enjoyable?

I had been thinking about getting a vasectomy, but put it off because I wasn't dating. I recently began dating a 42 year old woman I really like but in order for us to continue seeing other, I must let her know whether I share her dream of being a parent to biological child(ren). This book confirmed my concerns that I will be less happy as a parent.

What about Emily Beresford’s performance did you like?

I like that she occasionally used profanity because I could relate to the author's frustrations.

One-sided

Although I do think she makes tons of valid points about the difficulties with having children, she completely skips the benefits and joys. As a mother of three with a wonderful career and marriage, I do think having my children is one of the best choices I’ve ever made and would make again. Most of her complaints are super cirmcumstantial and transient (ex: sleepless nights...only when they are babies!). I enjoyed listening to the issues she brought up and agree that children present challenges, but when I look at my husband and three children, I couldn’t be prouder of how much we have all accomplished as a team- the sacrifice, the love, the acceptance of each other and knowing that in this world we will always have each other. Those things are priceless.

Amazing! Informative - highly recommend

I loved this book! Very well documented and researched. Provides actionable ideas for individuals and governments to support people and families, and really presents an honest view of difficulties of parenting in the US. Normalizes that many people just don’t want to have kids and that’s totally ok, and that research shows childfree people are just as,
and often more so, happy and satisfied than parents.

An Important Book

This is an important read for anyone -- male or female (but especially female) -- considering having children. Valenti doesn't necessarily try to talk people out of having kids, but she presents some statistics that differ greatly from the widespread societal myth that parenthood completes us. She also presents some real solutions for different approaches to parenthood than the current norm that could result in greater happiness and fulfillment for everyone involved.