If we want to help Gen Z thrive, we can’t only focus on kids—we have to support the parents raising them.

In Part 2 of our Supporting the Guardians conversation, Andy and Kelly sit down with Eagle Ranch counselor Phillip Costa to talk about what parents themselves are experiencing right now—and why their own healing and growth matter so much.

Drawing from nearly two decades of counseling experience, Phillip shares how anxiety, stress, and depression among parents have steadily increased, especially in the digital age. From constant information overload to the pressure of “getting parenting right,” many caregivers today feel overwhelmed and exhausted.

But there is hope.

Phillip explains that lasting change in a family often begins when parents slow down and begin exploring their own story—how they were parented, what triggers them, and how unresolved pain can shape the way they respond to their children.

When parents begin doing that work, something powerful happens: the entire family system begins to shift.

This conversation offers a hopeful reminder that parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about faithfulness in the process, growing in compassion for ourselves, and building a foundation strong enough to weather the storms that inevitably come.

Episode Highlights

[03:40] The current state of parenting: why anxiety and stress are increasing for caregivers

[05:30] How constant information and “Dr. Google” can fuel parental anxiety

[08:40] Signs a parent may be running on empty and losing margin

[10:30] Why exploring your personal story is essential for growth

[13:30] What keeps parents from slowing down and doing their own work

[14:30] The ripple effect: how parents changing begins to transform families

[16:10] Understanding authoritative parenting: balancing nurture and structure

[18:20] Why tools and parenting tips don’t work without a strong foundation

[20:00] The importance of community when processing your story

[25:30] Encouragement for parents who feel like they’re doing the work but still struggling

Resources Mentioned

📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Report (Barna Group)

https://www.barna.com/mental-health/

🎙 Previous Episode with Phillip Costa

Family Dynamics: What Doesn’t Get Healed Gets Transferred (Part 1) — Season 1, Episode 4

📖 You on Purpose — Dr. Stephanie Shackelford

Don’t Miss Out!

If this episode encouraged you:

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And as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love to hear how you’re implementing these ideas in your own family.

You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.

Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

When we talk about the Gen Z mental health crisis, the focus is often on teens. But what about the people raising them?

In this episode of It Takes a Family, Andy and Kelly welcome back researcher Dr. Stephanie Shackelford to explore the second theme from the Barna research: Supporting the Guardians.

What the data reveals is both surprising and deeply important—parents are struggling at nearly the same rates as their children. Anxiety, loneliness, and chronic stress are affecting caregivers across the board, making it harder to lead families with confidence.

Dr. Shackelford helps unpack what’s happening beneath the surface and why supporting parents is essential if we want to help the next generation thrive.

In this conversation, we discuss:

• Why many parents today feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by information

• The growing loneliness crisis among caregivers

• How parental mental health directly impacts children

• The difference between permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative parenting

• Why both warmth and structure are essential for healthy development

• How redefining the goal of parenting—from happiness to flourishing—changes everything

The good news? Parents don’t have to figure this out alone. Small steps toward community, honest conversations, and simple rhythms can make a powerful difference.

Episode Highlights

[03:00] Why the mental health of parents matters just as much as the mental health of teens

[04:00] The loneliness crisis among caregivers and the pressure parents carry today

[08:30] Understanding permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative parenting styles

[10:00] Why children need both connection and boundaries to flourish

[13:30] How your own upbringing may shape the way you parent today

[15:00] Rethinking the goal of parenting: happiness vs. flourishing

[19:30] Returning to basic family rhythms—sleep, nutrition, and time outside

[21:30] When it may be time to seek outside help

[22:30] Why moms often become the emotional safe place for kids—and how dads can step in too

[25:00] An encouragement for overwhelmed parents: you are not alone

Resources Mentioned

📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Report (Barna Group)

https://www.barna.com/mental-health/

📖 You on Purpose — Dr. Stephanie Shackelford

Don’t Miss Out!

This is a two-part conversation.

Today we explored the research behind supporting parents and caregivers. Next week, we’ll move into practical ways families can begin building healthier rhythms and support systems at home.

If this episode encouraged you:

• Subscribe so you don’t miss Part 2

• Leave a review on Apple or Spotify

• Share this episode with another parent who may need encouragement

And as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love to hear how you’re implementing these ideas in your own family.

You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.

Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

What does it actually look like to build a tech-wise home in real life?

In Part 2 of our conversation on Smart Tech Use, Andy and Kelly sit down with Rachel Medefind, Director of the Institute for Family-Centered Healing & Health at the Christian Alliance for Orphans.

Rachel holds a Master of Science in Psychology and Neuroscience of Mental Health from King’s College London, with a focus on children who have experienced early adversity, and is the author of When There Is Crisis. She is also a bio mom, foster mom, and adoptive mom raising five children ranging from teens to young adults.

Rachel shares how her family built rhythms over time — not overnight — to protect what matters most. From delaying smartphones to creating screen-free mornings and evenings, she offers a hopeful, practical vision rooted in one foundational idea:

Technology decisions must flow from your family’s values — not fear.

If you’ve ever thought, “We’re too far gone,” this episode will remind you: it’s never too late to reset.

Episode Highlights

[08:00] Why parents feel overwhelmed — and how fear can paralyze leadership

[11:30] Starting with your family’s “big rocks” before setting tech rules

[15:30] Why parents’ device habits must change first

[17:45] Delaying smartphones and matching tools to actual needs

[19:30] Having teens write and sign their own phone agreements

[20:00] Screen-free mornings: prayer, chores, movement before devices

[22:30] No devices in bedrooms and protecting sleep

[24:30] Baby steps vs. drastic resets — how to make meaningful change

[27:00] Why technology is a spiritual formation issue, not just a behavior issue

[34:00] Life beyond screens — from reading aloud to 25 days on the John Muir Trail

Resources Mentioned

📖 When There Is Crisis — Rachel Medefind

📖 The Anxious Generation — Jonathan Haidt

📖 You on Purpose — Dr. Stephanie Shackelford

📖 The Common Rule — Justin Whitmel Earley

🌐 Christian Alliance for Orphans

https://cafo.org

Don’t Miss Out!

If this episode encouraged you:

• Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming conversations
• Leave a review on Apple or Spotify
• Share this episode with another parent navigating the digital world

And as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram — unless you’re on a fast. 😉

You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.

Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

Are smartphones really that big of a deal… or is this just another cultural panic?

Is the concern over smartphones and Gen Z mental health just more noise — or is something truly different?

In this first episode of Season 2 of It Takes a Family, Andy and Kelly sit down with researcher and author Dr. Stephanie Shackelford to examine what the data actually says about technology and the rising mental health crisis among Gen Z.

This season is built on groundbreaking research conducted with the Barna Group, exploring why anxiety, depression, and loneliness have increased so dramatically among today’s teens and young adults.

Dr. Shackelford shares hopeful, research-backed starting points for parents who feel overwhelmed — including two simple boundaries that can make a measurable difference:

• No screens at family meals

• No devices in bedrooms overnight

If you’ve ever thought, “The ship has sailed,” this episode will remind you: it’s never too late to reset rhythms in your home.

This conversation kicks off our first Season 2 theme: Smart Tech Use — helping families create intentional tech-free spaces that foster connection, identity, and resilience.

Episode Highlights

[05:00] The mental health spike that correlates with smartphone adoption

[08:00] “Technology is designed to foster obsession.”

[10:00] Two research-backed starting points: no screens at meals, no screens in bedrooms

[13:00] Why even a phone on the table reduces relational attunement

[16:00] The powerful impact of removing phones from the bedroom — for parents too

[17:50] Time vs. type of screen use: why communal viewing differs from scrolling

[19:00] Is this just another cultural panic?

[21:00] Walking as wise in a digital age

[23:00] Why it’s never too late to reset boundaries

[27:00] The church as a sacred, screen-free refuge

[29:00] Teens actually want help being on their phones less

Resources Mentioned

• 📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Report (Barna Group)Download the free report here:https://www.barna.com/mental-health/
• 📖 The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
• 📖 You on Purpose by Dr. Stephanie Shackelford
• 📖 The Common Rule by Justin Whitmel Earley

Don’t Miss Out!

If this episode encouraged you, challenged you, or gave you a starting point:

• Subscribe so you don’t miss Part 2
• Leave a review on Apple or Spotify (it helps other parents find hope)
• Share this episode with another parent navigating the digital world

And as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love to hear how you’re implementing tech-free rhythms in your own family.

You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.

Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

This episode brings together the five core elements of whole family healing from Eagle Ranch—Your Story, Family Dynamics, Nurture & Structure, Child's Unique Gifts, and Community—and frames them through the lens of the Gospel.

Hosts Andy and Kelly welcome Davon Stack, a seasoned ministry leader from Perimeter Church, to discuss what "Gospel Parenting" truly means. Davon breaks down the powerful, simple truth of the Gospel ("We had it all. We lost it all. He did it all. We get it all.") and shares how relying on that truth can transform a parent's sense of helplessness into hope and reliance. He also shares a deeply personal story of how caring for his mother-in-law in her final days provided a profound, practical opportunity to teach his children love and forgiveness in a real-life crisis.

Episode Highlights

• [01:55] Davon shares his family of origin, marked by extreme hospitality and a rich family legacy of service.
• [08:45] The clear and concise definition of the Gospel and why recognizing "we lost it all" leads to true gratitude and reliance.
• [11:50] How the Gospel fundamentally shifts parenting from relying on personal strength to relying on the power of the Holy Spirit.
• [14:20] A tangible example of Gospel Parenting: Davon's family navigates the challenge of caring for his mother-in-law through early-onset Alzheimer's and how it taught their children kindness and forgiveness.
• [21:20] The difference between surface-level "Christian Parenting" (checking boxes) and Gospel Parenting (relying on a redeemed identity).
• [25:55] Davon shares words of hope for listeners who are struggling, pointing them to the power and promises already given to us through Christ.
• [28:15] Why it's vital to rely on the community of God's people and seek out those who are honestly relying on a greater power.

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Resources Mentioned

• Scripture References: 2 Peter 1:3-4, Acts 2:42-47
• Church: Perimeter Church

Every child is an image bearer of a creative God, and discovering their unique gifts is one of the most rewarding parts of parenting. In this episode, hosts Andy and Kelly talk with Wade Pearce, Senior Director of Program at Eagle Ranch, about how to stop trying to control your kids' future and start becoming their greatest talent agent.

Wade, an adoptive and foster parent who has welcomed over 40 children into his home, shares hard-won lessons on recognizing a child's passions, the danger of parental anxiety, and why your only vision for your child should be a healthy relationship. He breaks down the Circle of Courage philosophy and explains why embracing your child's interests—no matter how intense or fleeting—is the key to fostering mastery and a sense of self-worth.

Episode Highlights

• [01:36] Wade shares his upbringing, his journey as an educator, and his experience as an adoptive and foster parent of over 40 children.
• [03:45] Wade explains the concept of the "baby hero" role and his personal experience with striving to please his parents.
• [10:10] The key to stewarding a child's life: becoming a detective or a talent agent to discover what makes them tick.
• [14:15] Wade introduces the Circle of Courage and the four things every child needs to thrive: belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity.
• [17:58] Why getting out of the mode of living vicariously through your children is crucial for their long-term success.
• [19:00] Examples of following and supporting a child's mastery, from fishing to buying and selling shoes.
• [25:50] How parental anxiety is the enemy and why becoming a non-anxious presence is the key to breaking cycles of control.

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Resources Mentioned

• Concept: Circle of Courage (from Reclaiming Youth International)
• Author: Dallas Willard

Do you really know what motivates your child, or are you projecting your own expectations onto them? In this insightful episode, hosts Andy and Kelly talk with Dr. Fred Haselden (Director of Education) and Jennifer Smith (Day School Program Counselor) about the critical difference between the gifts you want your child to have and the unique gifts God has actually given them.

They share core concepts from psychology, including how your child's nervous system is always choosing between connection and protection, and how to identify their personal triggers and currency. Dr. H candidly shares his "dentist retirement plan" story—a perfect, albeit intense, example of how parental expectations can overshadow a child's true interests.

Episode Highlights

• [05:12] Dr. H and Jennifer introduce themselves and share their personal family stories.
• [06:00] Dr. H shares his personal and humorous story of "brainwashing" his daughter into thinking she wanted to be a dentist and the powerful lesson he learned about controlling expectations.
• [11:30] Why many parents struggle with having preconceived notions and expectations for their kids.
• [12:30] Jennifer explains the difference between a child's nervous system being in protection mode versus connection mode.
• [16:00] Dr. H and Jennifer define and give examples of a child's trigger and their currency (what motivates them).
• [19:30] How to implement structured "rhythms of connection"—like a no-screens family dinner or the "Rosebud, Thorn" exercise—to build security.
• [25:50] A discussion of why building strong community is essential, especially for adoptive parents, when facing the challenge of a child's active rejection.
• [28:40] The wisdom of sowing good seeds and praying for the harvest, focusing on your efforts, not the outcome.

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Resources Mentioned

• Book: Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors by Robyn Gobbel

Community is a lifeline, especially when parenting gets hard. In this episode, co-host Andy Nelson gets vulnerable and shares his personal story of moving from a strong, stable community to a new city where he and his wife, Emily, felt isolated and alone.

Andy shares how this experience of being without a "safety net" forced them to intentionally build a new community and how this journey shaped their family's values. He also tells the powerful story of a season of hardship when their community stepped in to help, and how this act of being cared for redefined his understanding of what it means to both give and receive help.

Episode Highlights

• [01:30] Andy shares his background, growing up in a close-knit, loving community and family.
• [04:00] Andy's story of moving 600 miles away from home and the shock of finding himself without a community.
• [07:00] The pivotal moment when a small act of kindness helped transform their family's isolated season.
• [08:50] How Andy and Emily intentionally built a new community and how their different personalities contributed to that.
• [14:00] Why building a "deep" community is more important than having "thin" relationships.
• [21:10] The power of being a "helper" and how a season of needing help taught him to receive from others.
• [23:00] The profound impact of community on family health and well-being.

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Resources Mentioned

• Book: You Are What You Love by James K.A. Smith
• Non-profit: Promise 686