Showing results by author "Lotus Rose" in All Categories

You've been misled. Lewis Carroll didn't reveal the whole story... Alice never left Wonderland. She's trapped. She's angry. And she wants revenge. The truth is not what you were led to believe. It wasn't all "just a dream." It's a nightmare. A nightmare she can't escape, where formerly pleasant characters throw her unhappy unbirthday parties to torment her, while others like to make her cry so they can lick her tears. But one day after years of this unpleasantness, she loses her heart. Literally. Well, technically somebody steals it. And she has to get it back. By any means necessary. And ...

The Brothers Grimm are trying to unleash twisted fairy tale beings into Wonderland. 15-year-old Queen Malice doesn’t want to deal with them. She vows to vanquish them in a whirlwind of fury and vitriol! Ahem. Anyway, then Malice’s dear friend, the Mad Hatter, is kidnapped. So to save him, Malice is forced to work with Cinderella, and ends up getting sucked into Fairy Tale Land. But she also has to deal with troublesome romantic feelings, and a malfunctioning heart that leads to murderous rage. She'll try not to kill too many creatures and people, though. Not-quite-right versions of ...

You've been misled. Lewis Carroll didn't reveal the whole story... Alice never left Wonderland. She's trapped. She's angry. And she wants revenge. If you're a fan of twisted fairy tales, you'll love this dark comedy series, brought to you by the author of Dorothy vs. Alice. The truth is not what you were led to believe. It wasn't all "just a dream." It's a nightmare. A nightmare she can't escape, where formerly pleasant characters throw her unhappy unbirthday parties to torment her, while others like to make her cry so they can lick her tears. But one day after years of this unpleasantness,...

The first volume in the standalone trilogy has a coming-of-age enemies-to-lovers storyline between Alice and Dorothy. Also, a love triangle involving The Mad Hatter. Dorothy (of Oz) and Alice (of Wonderland) used to be in a relationship. 17-year-old Alice had thought their dysfunctional relationship was over, but sometimes the past has a way of coming back to haunt you. In this case, that way is a tornado Dorothy summons to snatch Alice from the Outside World and bring her back to Munchkinland. Alice has absolutely no intention of getting back together. You see, Dorothy has changed…into a...

A coming-of-age twisted fairy tale retelling with a lesbian enemies-to-lovers storyline. And a bisexual love triangle, too! Dorothy (of Oz) and Alice (of Wonderland) used to be in a relationship. Alice had thought their dysfunctional relationship was over, but sometimes the past has a way of coming back to haunt you. In this case, that way is a tornado Dorothy summons to snatch Alice from the Outside World and bring her back to Munchkinland. Alice has absolutely no intention of getting back together. You see, Dorothy has changed…into a pervert, a sadistic chief of the munchkin tribes, and...

Either love her or die. . . Alice has regained her heart and it’s thumping in her chest. But she must not kill again, for with each additional murder, her heart grows blacker, her thoughts, once sweet and innocent, grow more vengeful and cruel, and her tears, once magical, grow more poisonous. She wants to set things right and reincarnate Humpty Dumpty and the Caterpillar and the Tweedle twins. But she seems to have a bad habit of killing that she can’t seem to break. She doesn’t want to kill them all over again, but sometimes these Wonderland idiots are really asking for it, don’t ...

This second stand-alone volume of the Poniworld Chronicles shifts its attention onto one of the most controversial figures in Poniworld history, Adolf Poni. Follow him as he goes from being a child with a love of dunking cookies in milk to being a murderous adult. Find out how a strawberry milk mustache led to mass murder. This account is humorous and horrific at the same time. For mature audiences. This ain't your little sister's book about Nazi ponies. The events of this book take place several decades before volume 1 of the Poniworld Chronicles, MachoPoni: A Prance with Death. ~*The ...

MachoPoni must rescue his girlfriend, Dust, from The Land of the Undead Ponies. Unfortunately, to do so, he must become one of the undead, himself. Along the way, he encounters a pony with a mohawk, the Chill-Aid Man (who’s filled with blood), and the CuddleBears, (who have porcupine quills and like to give deadly hugs). (The illustrations are included inside the book.) This first volume of the dementedly funny 80’s nostalgia series, The Poniworld Chronicles, introduces us to MachoPoni. He’s a purple pony who tries to act tough, but has a heart of gold. And his heart has a soft spot ...

Lust frozen and hidden in chastity's belt, Until puberty sparks and lust’s touch is felt, And perversion doth flame, and chastity, melt. --Goddess Alice of Wonderland Yesterday I (Alice) came of age. So I’m going on a journey of debauchery and self-exploration. Yes, I’m ready to finally perv out! Also yesterday, Dorothy of Oz was murdered. She had asked me to marry her. I want her back. So I’m traveling to the Greek Myth Realm, so I can bring Dorothy back from Hades. The handsome Mad Hatter is my sidekick. I intend to have lots of fun with him. I don’t like the Goddess of Chastity...

The decapitated Jabberwock's head is still functional—he just needs a new body. 15-year-old Queen Malice wants to help her buddy, Jabby, as she likes to call him. And so she plans a quest to Jabberwock Valley, where most of the other jabberwocks live. But Jabby isn't the only one they must help. Wonderland itself is in danger, because a creature known as the Snark threatens to reunite the monster tribes and revive a realm known as Woeland. So Malice works on assembling a team. Of course, the Mad Hatter, Humpty, and the Cheshire Cat will tag along. But the Knight still has a crippling fear...

Twisted fairy tale beings have been unleashed into Wonderland, and Queen Malice wants to kick them out. But the man known as the Storyteller wants to make a sick game of it all. So he sets up a series of challenges in which Malice and the Queen of Hearts must go up against the fairy tales. It’s a demented and deadly game, in which Malice risks losing those she cherishes most—the Mad Hatter, Humpty, and the Tweedle Twins. Saving Wonderland from fairy tale infestation isn’t going to be easy.

Yesterday Alice of Wonderland (me) came of age. So I’m going on a journey of debauchery and self-exploration. Yes, I’m ready to finally perv out! Also yesterday, Dorothy of Oz was murdered. She had asked me to marry her. I want her back. So I’m traveling to the Greek Myth Realm, so I can bring Dorothy back from Hades. The handsome Mad Hatter is my sidekick. I intend to have lots of fun with him. I don’t like the Goddess of Chastity. She’s a total prude--wears a magic chastity belt. My goal is to um...sample the companionship of copious amounts of men and women. But she wants to ...

From the author of Malice in Wonderland. Emilie is a supermodel battling with a bad childhood and alcoholism. When a handsome billionaire offers to photograph her, she has no idea her life will soon be in danger. Too late, she discovers that the girls he photographs are becoming suicidal. The billionaire decorates his walls with paintings of a scarred woman who was gorgeous before she was cut. Emilie realizes she must find out who that woman was if she ever hopes to survive. And she must figure out who the mysterious little girl was who visited her, the little girl with the scar on the side...

In part 3 of the trilogy, Alice wins the Vorpal Fist, a weapon whose special power is to rip out the hearts of those who love the person wearing it. Oh, and there's a Russian roulette tea party and a shadow under a rainbow guillotine too! But here's the thing: everything has gone weird. Is it still 1865 up in here? Because Wonderland seems to have suddenly gone scifi and I daresay, steampunk... This all occurs during a twisted life-sized board game Malice the Heartless and Alice the Blackhearted find themselves trapped in. Who will win? And will Alice finally become a stealer of hearts and ...

A prequel to the darkly comedic Malice in Wonderland trilogy. A peek inside the minds of Alice and the other characters of Wonderland before she killed them. This volume follows Alice from the age of 7, where Lewis Carroll left off telling her story, to the age of 12. It doesn’t detail everything that happened during that time, because frankly that would be boring, since mostly Alice served as a doormat to the citizens of Wonderland. (Don’t worry, though, she gets her revenge when she turns 13.) Instead, the book hops around between certain key points in Alice’s and the other ...

My little dominatrix . . . Dust can be such a bitch sometimes. Well, not just sometimes. All the time, but she wants to change. She has to if she ever wants to get back together with Machoponi. But other ponies and the Princess really try her patience sometimes. For one thing, the Dark Princess has decided to go preppy! Seriously, with the sweater tied around her neck and everything. She should be punished. For another thing, Brogene is annoying, as usual. So of course, the Princess sends her on a quest for caulk. But the quest turns into a sexual journey when the Sexual Awakening occurs, ...

A pony plagued by her past. Dust wants to become better girlfriend material so Machoponi will take her back. So she decides to go on a vision quest on Halloween, led by a rat spirit guide in a Nerf cactus costume. She eats some cactus and begins to hallucinate. Her journey is about to begin, but where will it take her? It’s like she is dust on the wind, or something. Warning: contains foul language, sexual situations, drug use and pony lesbianism.

Meet Brogene, a very butch equine individual who enjoys wearing a sweater tied around his neck. He once had a very traumatic episode with a fire cheese doodle, so now he just wants to live a quiet undead life. But things are about to change for him. Yes, he must go on a quest for the Dark Princess. A quest for caulk. And so he sets off for Butch Valley, a mythical valley filled with mancaves where only the extremely butch are allowed. That means, no girls! When he gets there, he has to deal with blue creatures called the Funs and the only female in their village, an odd yellow guy named Cap...

Now that Ember is no longer a child actor, her fame is waning and she needs a publicity stunt to revive it. So she decides to auction her virginity. But things start going downhill when the cohost of a morning show kills herself after Ember makes her announcement. Days later, Maggy, Ember’s former costar, gets caught up in a sex tape scandal. And on top of that, Ember finds herself in fear of the billionaire who bid the highest in the auction. The stress causes her to struggle with her various addictions. But her greatest addiction is to fame. Is she willing to do what it takes to keep it?

The day after Valentine's Day is known throughout the world as BlackHearts Day. But it wasn't always this way. Journey back to the time before the holiday's existence... A girl named Charlee Frown must struggle to prevent a holiday known as BlackHearts Day from taking hold. But then she starts thinking, maybe it’s not so bad after all, because Valentine’s Day really sucks. She’s asked to star in a sappy Hall-mart Cards Valentine’s television special. But then she learns about the origin of Valentine’s Day, and the role of the Illuminati and Aleister Crowley in it…in cooperation ...