Showing results by narrator "Joe Hempel" in All Categories

Angels and Demons, Myths and Legends... It's been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead — six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is Deacon of the Vampire Nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him … or dispose of him. But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths — and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires who can stop it.

On the night of a long-awaited comet sighting, Erich, a university student, comes back from the dead. Making a miraculous recovery after a horrific car accident, he quickly returns to his musical studies and seems to have a new zest for life. Though he mingles with his fellow students and dedicates himself to his work, those close to him can't help but notice something is wrong. Very wrong. Erich isn't himself anymore. His personality has changed radically, and where he was once a middling musician, he's suddenly and unaccountably developed a virtuosic talent....

Gory, sticky, creepy, with a dry humor, Maniac is an invitation into the 80's New York madness, which follows a disreputable man, Frank Zito... that we challenge you to meet!

A deserted R&D facility tempts the hungry new Guild, Leviathan, into sending a team to plunder its valuable research. The base was abandoned after a neighboring planet was devastated by an outbreak of Xenos-alien zombies—but that was a whole planet away. When the Guild ship is attacked by a quarantine patrol, both ships crash onto the deserted world. Only it isn't as deserted as they hope: a murderous new Xeno threat awakens, desperate to escape the planet. Can the crews cooperate to destroy this new foe? Will they be forced to sacrifice their ships and lives to protect the galaxy?

Thirteen-year-old Timmy Mantis hates pumpkins and anything to do with them. Growing up in Harvest Creek, the pumpkin-growing capital of Wisconsin, has been hell. Especially at Halloween, when the small town becomes obsessed with everything pumpkin at the annual fall festival. When an accident happens at the local research laboratory and one of the experiments escapes, Timmy realizes he was right to hate pumpkins. As the festival becomes ground zero for a monstrous invasion of gourds-gone-wild and the body count rises—literally—Timmy must face his greatest fears or become another victim.

Do you want to resolve conflict peacefully without creating awkward tension? To stand up for yourself, set boundaries, and never feel disrespected? What if you could have those tough personal and professional conversations with less stress...and more success? Prevent avoidance and fear from dictating your decisions.

It takes a lot of commitment to make a marriage between a modern ceremonial magician and a chaos witch work, but when a malevolent entity takes up residence in Rhys and Moira's home, their love will be pushed to the limits. Brewing up a solution is easier said than done when your magical styles are polar opposites; throw a psychic ex and a secret society in the mix, and things are bound to get messy.

The Exceptional Crimes Unit stopped another criminal: Lucy Speckle. The brilliant FBI agent, Christian Windsor, pushed her to suicide....watching as she cut her own throat. It changed Christian, though, and those around him are starting to notice. He's darker. Harsher. Crueler. His partner, Luke Titan, couldn't be happier because he engineered the whole thing. If anyone knew Titan's true intentions, they'd call him a psychopath. They'd lock him up. They'd put him in the electric chair. Too bad his genius keeps him hidden in the shadows.

Thirty years ago, cynical sleaze ball director Tito Bronze took a tiny cast and crew to a desolate island. His goal: to exploit the local tribes, spray some guts around, cash in on the gore-spattered 80s Italian cannibal craze. But the pissed-off spirits of the island had other ideas. And before long, guts were squirting behind the scenes, as well.

Meet the new, improved Andrew Mayhem. He has a real job. He’s a better father and husband. And he’s vowed to quit accepting money from strange women in coffee shops to perform tasks that go terribly, terribly wrong. This time, he’s just taking a relaxing camping trip with his family and best friend. No shortcuts. The gas tank is full. The sinister warning of the crazy old man is taken seriously. Unfortunately, when you’re Andrew Mayhem, you just can’t help being attacked by a group of savage killers bent on inflicting ghastly torture and bringing horrific death.

If you have felt (1) massive relief at cancelled plans, (2) mild annoyance in huge gatherings of strangers, and (3) want to figure out how to socialize better and more effectively without social fatigue, this book is for you - written by someone exactly like you. Introvert Survival Tactics is going to shed light on exactly how you function, and how to use your tendencies to your advantage.

A mysterious suicide. Horrific specters walking the streets. A drug that promises to change the world. An apocalyptic cult. Something is stirring in the city of Duluth, Minnesota. Ever since a celebrated researcher announced the creation of a new experimental drug - a drug with the potential to cure the mind of countless ills - people have been disappearing. When a grad student involved with the drug's development unexpectedly commits suicide, a private detective is tasked with unearthing the details of her tumultuous final days. This miracle drug may not be what it seems.

See You At San Diego is the comprehensive chronicle of Comic-Con International and modern geekdom itself as told through countless stories by nearly fifty of the most integral members of the Comic-Con and fandom scene. This full-fledged oral history—bursting with intimate reflections, hilarious observations, and at times, heartbreaking stories—is about how the geek at last inherited the earth and the story of the transformation of mainstream American pop culture into comic book culture over the past century.

From the scientist duo behind True or Poo?, their original New York Times bestselling sensation--a scientifically precise, fully illustrated, utterly hilarious guide to animal flatulence. Dogs do it. Millipedes do it. Dinosaurs did it. You do it. I do it. Octopuses don't (and nor do octopi)...

When Dillon Storm's grandfather invites the gang to a "living memorial service" for himself over in his beloved vacation spot of Vero Beach, Florida, Dillon thinks it's a strange idea. Funerals are for the dead, and his grandfather isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Still, if it's what the old man wants, who is he to turn him down? When the daughter of Vero Beach's police chief goes missing along the shoreline and a man Dillon believes to be innocent is fingered for foul play, things take a turn.

Beyond simple small talk: what to say and when to say it to be likable, connect, and make a memorable impression. Actionable and applicable verbal maneuvers for just about every phase of conversation - good and bad. Whatever your conversational goal, you’ll find tactics to put you in a winning position - in a literal sense with arguments, and in a figurative sense with making friends. You can never underestimate the power of a simple conversation.

In this dark and hilarious new adventure, Andrew has started up a private investigation business with his best friend Roger (slogan: "We Solve Weird Problems"). Since his options in life will become somewhat more limited after his wife Helen gives birth to triplets, it's his last-ditch effort to get out of being stuck with a corporate day job. One of their first clients is an attractive woman named Shirley. Keeping with the kind of luck Andrew has had his entire life, her problem is: "I think I may be a serial killer".

For most of his life, William Chance has been the living proof that his grandmother and her fellow missing-persons researchers were right all along about the terror from the stars. Now, he's avoiding the limelight and hiding out from everyone, including his family. He knows he can avoid everything, except for the nightmares: fires, storms, disease, and violence - he dreams of it all. When he's suddenly exposed, he finds that the media, government operatives, and renegade true believers are desperate to find him, but he has another mission.

What happens when a haunted house story starts in the third act and you walk into everything at its worst? This book. This book happens.

After rescuing the world from the creatures of darkness and chaos by applying a few computer logistics, Programmer and Systems Analyst Extraordinaire Wiz Zumwalt finds himself in another fix when he is kidnapped by dragons.