Showing results by narrator "David Lewis" in All Categories

Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).

From his Missouri farm, the boy traveled west. In his hand was a Navy Colt given to him by Jesse James. By his side was the old mountain man named Preacher, who would teach young Smoke Jensen everything he needed to fight like the devil and die like a man. And in his heart...was vengeance. His enemies destroyed everything he'd ever loved. But they made one mistake. They let Smoke Jensen live.

Coel’s journey eastward with the sorcerer Reza Walladid earned him the wrath of the Hobgoblin Hordes and the Lord of the Assassins. The terrible secret he discovered there could turn humanity against him, yet now it must be revealed. Now nation after nation falls before the Horde’s inexorable march west, either slaughtered and eaten in battle or accepting the Horde’s terrifying terms of surrender. In every shadow, Assassin daggers lurk.

The Oklahoma Panhandle is 100 miles of lawlessness and danger: a no-man's-land designed to separate Texas from pro-Union Kansas. Through this desolate strip rides legendary gunslinger Falcon MacCallister with a 12-year-old Indian boy by his side. Behind them lies a scene of horror left by outlaws who've massacred the boy's parents, as well as the settlers in a small wagon train.

Young Jim Moran never had a real family - but his sense of honor and razor-sharp instincts earned him a loyal partner who gave him a second chance, a home with a Montana Indian tribe, and a new name: Rider Twelve Horses. And when his friend is brutalized by a trio of killers, nothing can stop Rider's merciless search for justice.

Compassion is a luxury in a brutal land where life is cheap, but Dr. Mildred Wyeth holds fast to her physician's oath to show mercy. Now she's stricken by a plague that brings on a deep craving for human flesh. Unwilling to lose one of their own to this pervasive pestilence without a fight, the companions follow the trail to Cajun country, where the mysterious queen of the Cannies is rumored to possess the only antidote to the grim fate that awaits Mildred...and perhaps her warrior friends.

Matt Bodine and Sam Two Wolves don't look for trouble - it's usually there when they wake up in the morning. When they ride into the little silver mining town of Jordanville, high in the Colorado Rockies, all they want is a hot meal and something cold to wash it down. When they see an unarmed man getting brutally beaten by a hard case with a bullwhip, their plans suddenly change. Before they can spit, the blood brothers find themselves in the middle of a violent land war and up to their noses in claim jumpers and hired guns itching to open fire.

Meet the Boss Camelus-Whitus, affectionately known as BBQ to the genetic engineers at Boston Bio. Brainchild of the beautiful but sociopathic Dr. Judith White, this homely, sad-eyed creature is a bio-masterpiece of gene splicing and billed as the world's most promising new food source. A bungled kidnapping of the BBQ by animal rights activists results in the unfortunate discovery that these slow, silly-looking creatures might actually be bloodthirsty killers.

Emerging relatively unscathed from the apocalyptic rebirth of North America, Canada hides a trove of Cold War-era secret government installations known as Diefenbunkers, filled with caches of weapons, wags, and food. Ryan Cawdor and his companions agree to ride sec for a convoy headed west across the remnants of the old Trans-Canada Highway to retrieve the ultimate prize: four portable nuclear reactors. It's enough power to light up a ville for years, a bright beacon for a new tomorrow. But they have death on their trail.

It was there for the taking: $75,000 in gold bullion, the combined payrolls of the three productive gold mines, just waiting to be stolen from under the noses of a bickering sheriff and city marshal. Billy Ray Gilmore and his band of kill-crazy outlaws have a plan to do it, too.... That is, until Sixkiller comes to town. Hiding his badge to conceal his identity as a US Marshal, Sixkiller goes undercover to smoke out the culprits before they strike.

When the brothers head into the small cow town of Crossville, close by Devil Creek, all they want is to stock up on supplies and rest their weary horses. Instead, they find themselves in the middle of a bloody range war that’s literally split the town down the middle. The warring factions have set up camp on either side of Main Street and the newcomers ride in on a deserted strip of no man’s land where anything - and nothing good - is liable to happen.

Archaeologist and explorer Annja Creed's fascination with the myths and mysteries of the past leads her to a crypt in the caves of France, where the terrifying legend of the Beast of Gevaudan hints at the unimaginable. What she discovers is shattering: an artifact that will seal her destiny; a brotherhood of monks willing to murder to protect their secret; and a powerful black-market occultist desperate to put his own claim to centuries-old blood money.

Heris Serrano - formerly a commander in the Regular Space Service - must take whatever job she can get after her resignation under a cloud. What she can get is the captaincy of a rich old lady's space yacht...a rich old horsewoman, who has little liking for the military, and whose spoiled nephew Ronnie (and his equally spoiled friends) have been foisted on her after his folly embarrassed the family. Lady Cecelia's only apparent interest is horses - she intends to go fox hunting on the private pleasure planet of a friend of hers, Lord Thornbuckle.

They're hanging Bobby Lee Cabot in Cloverdale, Nevada on Friday. Or so they think. Thursday brings Smoke Jensen to town. In another life, Bobby Lee was almost kin to Smoke, and guilty or not, Smoke will blast Cloverdale sky high if that's what it takes to set his old friend free. By midnight, Smoke and Billy Ray are riding hell-for-leather out of Cloverdale, and into a war between cunning railroad robbers and the organization sworn to stop them. Bobby Lee was working for the railroads until he was betrayed. Now, both men are pursued by deadly enemies on either side of the law.

Sometimes, it’s bad to be good. That’s what happens when Scratch Morton and Bo Creel are rewarded with a gold mine for saving a rich man’s bacon. The catch: This mine is a magnet for marauding Mexican banditos. Budding capitalists, Scratch and Bo fight back. That’s when they discover that the thieves aren’t who they thought they were, some really bad guys are on the way, and a beautiful woman might just be the most dangerous bandit of all — the kind that can steal your heart.

While working on a dig in the California wilderness, archaeologist-adventurer Annja Creed uncovers evidence of a tragedy that's linked to Chinese miners during the days of the Gold Rush. A sudden attack on the site by shadow figures drives Annja to find the connection to a mysterious buried city in China. Lured by legends of gold, betrayal, and the vengeance of a Han Dynasty overlord, Annja travels on the Orient Express, battling avaricious treasure hunters and a modern-day descendant of an ancient league of assassins.

Working on a dig on the southern coast of India, the last thing Annja Creed expects is to be hit by a tsunami. Or to strike archaeological gold. But that's exactly what happens when several objects wash ashore in the storm. The relics carry unfamiliar markings that hint at a legendary city. Excited by the prospect of discovering a culture believed lost to civilization, Annja embarks on a perilous journey deep into the heart of danger.

In Pecos Valley, New Mexico, a cattle war has erupted, pitting rancher against rancher across a once-peaceful land. It has thrust McCallister into the dead-center of one of the most violent battles on record - and barrel to barrel with the greatest challenge he has ever faced. His name is William Bonney. His victims called him Billy the kid. McCallister calls him a bad risk. But in the deadly gamble of the Lincoln County War, placing your bet on an outlaw like the Kid is the only game in town.

Wayson Harris was one of thousands of clones born and bred to be the ultimate soldiers. But as an outlawed model, he was different from the rest - possessing independent thoughts and an addiction to violence. Stranded on a frontier planet, Harris is desperate to get back to civilization - and back into the fight. But the rebel factions are warring among themselves, and Harris is contacted by a group that wants to return to the Unified Authority's command.

When iron clears leather, anything can happen. In Frank Morgan's case, a sudden duel with an assassin has left an innocent woman with a bullet in her back - and a friendship between Frank and a young Texas Ranger in tatters. Wanting to make up for his part in the tragedy, Frank rides to central Texas to help Ranger Tyler Beaumont put down the so-called Fence-Cutting War. But as big ranchers battle small ones, an outlaw gang has hellish plans of its own.